Is this cheating or making peace?

Question

I found this posted in a public forum. My husband private messaged it to someone:
"hey i looked at ur profile ur 21 i am 22 my birthday is the 21 of feburary urs is the 23 same as my little sister and ur cute too [three different types of smiley faces]"
It was posted by a friend of the woman who received it. My husband was labeled a douche bag. He responded, in the forum, "may i ask why i am a douche bag? i complimented her. are you her husband? if so i am sorry for sending that. i did not know she was married. i was just trying to be nice."
Now, if he knows it would be wrong to send it if she were married, shouldn't he know it's wrong to send it because -he- is married? He claims he was trying to make peace with her because he was a jerk in the forums, and he "had to start somewhere." How about, "Let's make peace, okay?" Not...we have all this in common and ur cute, smiley smiley. Did he just try to make peace very stupidly or was he trying to hint around and get something started?

Answer 1

This time you probably won't know, but if he's hitting on other women you'll soon spot it.
I wouldn't agonise too much over this, some people I know don't handle making peace very well and feel a need to try and get the other person to like them. He might be right.
Like I said, if it wasn't innocent, you'll soon see and you'll see something that won't leave you wondering. So don't hang him for a maybe.

Answer 2

I think he was being sneaky hinting around for a hook up and he stuff got exposed. What time did he send the messages? Was it on the late night or while you were away? Would that be an appropriate conversation to have it you were standing over his shoulders? I think his intentions were not to patch things up and make peace I think if the opportunity were to arise he would hook up. Call him out on his actions and if he thinks your crazy have him sit down on the computer and let him read these answers from outsiders who don't even know you nor him cause we all can't be crazy.

Answer 3

i think he did not think before saying it. i think he had no intentions of cheating what so ever. i feel he made a mistake and could of went about "making peace" on the forum a little better. i should have never said she was cute. i am sorry for this but in all honesty i never meant it as anything more then a compliment. that was all. i love you and Jeremiah to much to risk losing you two. i do have one question though i put up questions like this right in front of you and read the answers to you. so why did you feel the need to hide this question from me especially after our nice Saturday nite and Sunday? i understand the need to ask this question. and from me to you husband to wife i love you very much. no one holds a shimmer of hope when put in next to you you are my one and only always and forever. as for the your cute thing yes i did say she was cute and yes it was dumb but no it was not flirting or hitting on someone i meant it as a peace symbol but in honesty it was also a compliment but nothing more. i love you very much aud.

Answer 4

Theres probably more where that came from. I hate to say this, but start snooping. He doesn't seem like he even cared to place the proper boundaries. Does he even say that he is married on the internet? Let him know what's unacceptable. He is a douche bag. lol.

Answer 5

sorry to say but he was trying to hint around and get something started and he's made a pathetic attempt at an excuse as well. There's no way that was a keep the peace attempt.

Answer 6

Sweetie , i would talk to him about it ! Seriously if he doesn't explain and says "just trying to make peace" then ask him ..why he said she was cute ? ..wait till he responds to that ...let him know that you are not going to be treated like a rag doll , you are married ! Stop talking to other woman or at least he should tell you about it and not letting you find out on your own. !! If he is not telling you and trying to hide it , then who knows how many other times he has done this ...! I hope this helps ..and i hope you SERIOUSLY talk to him! Good luck sweetie ! ...Sorry for whats happenening to you also !

Regards,
Krystal*

Answer 7

the internet brings on many new and disturbing things. one of them is broadening the definition of cheating. is it cheating if 2 people who have never met, let alone touched, have cyber sex every night???
i think men take advantage of this new ambiguity, and play stupid "but i didn't touch her", etc.
make it clear to him what ur definitions are about what is acceptable and what is not. chatting, flirting, all those things.. make sure he is totally aware of what his actions will produce, so he doesnt have any excuses when he has to face the music.
but i agree with you, that's not cool. but, you should have made that clear to him before.
:) ;) :D (hope that cheered u up)

Answer 8

if he knew that he shouldnt send that b/c she had a husband then he shouldnt have sent b/c he has a wife!
what a douche bag (lol)
maybe he was trying to get something started and 'stupidly makeing the peace' was going to be his cover up but the whole "im her husband you douche bag' blew it to smitherines based on what i said above.
the whole 'i did this wrong and i didnt know it - can you please tell me my boundries' act has saved me form getting ISS and grounded millions of times so take it from a pro-liar, he was trying to get something started. i feel so evil telling on someone who uses my own tactics
sorry.

Answer 9

You may not know it but you have passed the test to be an attorney. The first rule is never ask a question that you don't know the answer to.

Lady if you have to ask, you know the answer. You are seeking reinforcement of your idea. OK, consider it reinforced. He is hot to trot and doesn't seem to care which mare he runs with.

Answer 10

He was trying to start something. If he wanted to make peace he would have gave a helpful comment or said nothing at all about something instead of flirting!