I'm not quite ready for marriage, but I don't want to lose my boyfriend; I love him more than anything. What should I do?
2007-12-02 11:37:47 · 40 answers · asked by Cuddly W 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when someone tries to force u into something your not ready for, its wrong, and he is trying to push u into something, and if u marry him it is only a glimpse into what kind of future u will have with this man. u need to tell him if he chooses to go its his decision, but don't back down, don't let him manipulate u. let him leave, if he would leave u over this, he would leave u if he doesn't get everything he wants when he wants it once your married. he doesn't respect you, and is in just too big of a hurry to marry.
2007-12-02 11:45:00 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him go.
You are still young with a lot of life in front of you. It may seem that you can't live without him now, but you can. In a mature, loving relationship, neither party will ever say "Marry me or I'll go!" If he's making that kind of threat, then he's already proven that HE'S not ready for marriage. If you're not ready, you're not ready. If this is how he handles your relationship, he'll lose you because he doesn't respect you enough. He sounds controlling, immature and insecure.
Finally, while I appreciate you need to get feedback on your situation, if you were confident in the relationship you wouldn't be posting here. That is not meant to be a put-down, but just something for you to think about. When you love someone and they love you, you are each other's sancturary.
Let him go.
2007-12-02 11:58:41 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are not ready for marriage and if he loves you he will respect that; If not, he is a control freak and the marriage would eventually end in divorce when he got tired of you not doing as he wants or you get tired of being controlled. I will give you a web site to explore regarding relationships and self esteem but if he insists, you are better off without him, believe me!!
2007-12-02 11:50:18 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to let him go. You are not ready for marriage, you are very young, and he is pressuring you unreasonably to marry. In fact worse, he is blackmailing you with an ultimatum: Do what I say, or I leave. These are some big red flags right there.
If he is this controlling already, imagine how he will be once he has that ring on your finger.
Be very careful about controlling men who try to run your life, it rarely leads to a happy place.
I think you might have to face the fact that he is not the one, as difficult as that might be to accept.
2007-12-02 11:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by ZCT 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do whats in your heart. If your not ready your not ready. Marriage is HUGE affair. I have been married for only a year and its SO hard. You have your whole life in front of you. Don't you want to experience more. Sometimes getting married so young will lead to kids early to. Children and adventures, but do you want that to be your only ones? Good luck hope all works out well.
2007-12-02 11:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by WTF?? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey, that's like you've been on this earth for only 19 days, you haven't even lived long enough to enjoy life....FOR YOURSELF FIRST. If you haven't explored, (and i don't mean gallivanting around like a loose woman) how can you know if he's the real one?, Sure you love him alot, and that's probably because he's the only, or one of the few you have had...., anyone can see clear through this, and you can bet your sweet tears, he knows it, too.
If you are being pushed into something you are not ready for and he can't respect that, he's not going to respect you, and probably do more pushing around....... it doesn't have to be physical to be abuse,... how about mental, and emotional,, they are just as damaging....listen to all the positive answers, you are getting from the women, we are not saying it because we want you to be lonely..........believe that.
You need to talk to him, tell him how you feel, i think you already made your decision, but don't be afraid to stand by it.
honeychild.
2007-12-02 12:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never .. never ... never ... let anyone give you an ultimatum.
It sounds like he is already trying to control you.
If it were me .. I would tell him to "just leave ... because I don't take ultimatums like you are giving me".
IF .. he truly loves you ... he won't go any place. Or ,, he will beg to come back.
Don't let him do you this way. And don't let him get away with it. Call his bluff.
DON"T ... get married until you are soooooooooo ready. There is a reason why you are not ready to get married yet. You don't want to .. so don't. Shame on him for trying to make you.
Also - be brave .. tell him you are not ready for marriage now .. so you're not going to marry just yet. Widh him well.
Best wishes .. and hang in there ... simply do what you want to do ... and not what you don't want to do.
2007-12-02 11:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you want a partner like that for yourself? I suggest you dump the loser now and tell him that he is in no position to "insist" anything. You are a fool to even have to ask what to do. I can see you in 5 years. Getting beat for burning dinner or some other stupid no account thing that does not matter. He is a punk and always will be. Do you really love him or is it that you just don't want to be alone or afraid that you won't be able to find another b/f? Get real. Take care of yourself. He sure won't.
2007-12-02 11:52:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wall of textual content, i change into searching for the position you suggested you had left him. I heavily wish that you've. Now, enable's settle for it, you've been 19 and gullible. You enable your faith lead you into an abusive courting, you concept he change into so "christian" so he should be an excellent guy. Now you comprehend better efficient. therapeutic? definite, attempt this, get your self into counseling (sorry, yet do bypass to secular, i might want to recommend one for abused/battered women, prayer on my own ain't gonna restore issues the following). you should envision out Co-Dependents nameless or some such. i have usual a number of battered women, even married one which were bodily abused and my modern-day lady friend were emotionally abused. not in any respect overlook this, you're a efficient man or woman and God is conscious your trials. you haven't "sinned", you've been manipulated, lied to and abused. This guy is a severe administration freak and he's sturdy at it. you want to no longer in basic terms loose your self from him yet to study the worry signs and indicators for the destiny. each and anytime a guy tries to regulate ANY component of your existence, get out! Your existence is YOURS to regulate, this is the guy's pastime to settle for you as you're. If he can not/gained't attempt this, you want to get faraway from him. God will assist you in doing that. a minimum of you probably did not get pregnant by ability of him, count number your advantages on that one. and also you're nonetheless youthful, take the teachings you've realized and detect the thanks to stay/love with a better efficient classification of adult men. advantages on your adventure!
2016-10-25 08:18:45 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You all ready knew that you are definitely not ready so that is it .19 is really young to get married anyway . It sounds like he is just wanting to have control over you . Good Luck!
2007-12-02 11:49:28 · answer #10 · answered by Ana C pisces1976 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋