In january of 2007 I found on my phone bill where my husbands ex- girlfriend had called him few times. Well did not say anything at the time and I was just watching and the calls were only incoming calls. She stopped calling in febuary.
I recently found messages from her on his webpage she was asking him how he is doing and when did he get married. He said how do you know I am married and then he said you know to much got to go.
Then I sent her a friend request on myspace and she asked who is this and the she said funny. We got into a little arguement in the arguement she said your husband does not love you because if he did he would not cheat on you. Then I asked her when did he cheat and with who she said with her one time in January the same time I saw her calling him.
So I asked him about it and he says she is lying. He said she always looking for me I don't look for her and in january she got his number from a friend of his and she searched for him on the web but he never contacted her.
I do believe her because she is getting married but then agian I dont because why would she be calling him and sending him messages and also when I contacted her she got very upset.
She also told me he cheated on her all the time.
I feel once a cheater always a cheater right?
So who do I believe her or my husband?
2007-12-02 11:07:02 · 28 answers · asked by Heather N 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really hate that saying, once a cheater always a cheater. Of course their are men who cheat for the hell of it....those type of people know nothing about love and commitment. I really dont think those men are in the majority. When someone finds love they dont want anyone else. Does your husband love you? Do you feel it in the way he looks at you, makes love to you. Do you really think he would cheat? I know we can all be deceived, but why are you so quick to believe a woman you dont really know? She sounds like she is a bit of a stalker actually. She is the one who made the effort to find out all about you. The fact that your husband asked her how did she know about him being married, makes it sound to me like she still has a thing for your husband. Most women wouldnt tell the wife that her husband doesnt love her and he had an affair.....most women keep it quiet.....they dont want to upset their lover. I would be having my doubts as to this girls honesty. I would stay well away from her. I wouldnt have anything more to do with her.....and tell your husband the same thing. She is the one who has been ringing him, not the other way around. She is the one who is making moves on your husband. If you do speak to her again, tell her to butt out of your lives. Give your husband the benefit of the doubt. Im sure there would be other signs he was cheating, not just incoming calls from an ex girlfriend. What does your gut tell you? There are a lot of women and men out there who enjoy making trouble......maybe she is one of those people.
2007-12-02 11:19:47 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like they both are hiding something!He said he never contacted her, did he say he talked with her regardless of who called who. If he did he should have said something right up front when it happened. If you feel once a cheater always a cheater then you've solved your problem, because you will never trust him. Is the relation ship worth saving or not? You have to be the one to ultimately make that decision. Think before acting, is there children involved? If he came right out and said yes I cheated, would you forgive? If you forgive then remember you never bring it up again, if you do you never forgave in the first place. Hope this has helped in some small way Other wise Have a Great Christmas and Pray for our troops light a candle for those who can't be with us.
2007-12-02 11:24:01 · answer #2 · answered by mandm68 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW!
I can understand u being soncern about her contacting him and saying what she said, but this is what I would have said to her if Ur trying to get some crap started with me and my hubby then get ready because whatever u through at us it's coming back to u because since u say your getting married then that means u cheated and will cheat again. So if don't u want things to start out trusting with u new hubby to be then u need to stop this game ur playing about telling me my husband cheated with u. Tell her that if she keeps this up then ur along with u husband will contact you hubby to be and tell him a few things about her.
Tell her that u will do whatever u feel u need to do to keep your marriage together as u sure she would to keep her relationship with her hubby to be. Ask her if she like for you to have a talk with him about her cheating or calling her ex and making trouble where you and your husband is concern? Ask her if she really loves her man if she says yes then say why are u calling him and telling me that you and her are messing around?
She's just jealous and might want him back and can't stand the fact that he married. She may not even by getting married she just said that because she's hurt over u being his wofe, that why she's doing what she's doing.
Also talk with your husband and tell him to be 100% true about her because U are tired of having run ins with her telling you he doesn't love u and that he cheated on u with her.
But really u need to confront her and tell her that U gonna have a talk with her man and keep any emails, calls and voicemails she send ( without telling her or ur hubby) your doing it that way u will have proof when u show it to her man nad u hubby.
Good Luck
2007-12-02 11:43:31 · answer #3 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm that is a toughie. I say that because it could be one of the two which you are going to have to figure out. 1. It could very well be the truth. You seek truth you shall find. If you need to hire a private investigator if you can afford it. 2. She could be just lying to get you guys fighting or to get a divorce because she still lusts for him. Either way you got to try and do whatever you can to find the truth. If he did cheat i don't think he will admit to it and there won't be no way of knowing whether he did or not. But, for peace of mind you need to know what is going on. Sorry, you are going through this.
2007-12-02 11:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough question? The message he sent to her saying she knows to much implies that he didn't wnt contact6 with her. Sounds like she is interested in him, but does she have a reason to lie? I think I would ask her specific details about where, and when, and tell her that if shes lying shes breaking up a relationship. Talk to her as a woman, not as two women who are scrapping over a guy. Ask her who else he cheated with if she knows so much, and ask that person. Girls always feel for girls, someone will tell you.
2007-12-02 11:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by Kelsey 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband definitely! He's the one you have lived with longer. How can you believe her.
Look your husband in the eye and tell him you believe him, but you would like to know if the ex ever tries to contact him again.
Looks like from the msg that ur husband left that he's a genuine person and the ex is simply trying to get your marriage in trouble.
Trust your own not others!
2007-12-02 11:14:10 · answer #6 · answered by Slite 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We dont know your husband lied to u or not but it obviously that she's trying to ruin your relationship with your husband. And you cant say that once a cheater always a cheater, people change.. Like me, I cheated in my life but doesnt mean i'll be cheating forever and i regret about it and i dont want to do it again , so do you.
2007-12-02 11:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by exe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen. I would NOT believe a word from her. I know that she wants him and is chasing him, but you didn't find any outgoing calls from him. Women like her try to cause trouble plain and simple. I have been in the same boat believing another woman who tried the same thing on me, but I had proof of his innocense. You should take his word first, but still watch him. Who knows what that woman will say about you to him.
2007-12-02 13:40:55 · answer #8 · answered by Mo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The rule is - if you can't proove that it's a lie , then you are forced to except it as true . when two peole other then you are involved in a lie on one of thems part , each one is given credit for a half truth ,even though one is possibly being honest ,
point this out , and let them /or him know that you will be watching ,,if a lie comes for any reason , THIS lie is on him . as well as the one thats been watched for .
A good relationship never worries about the lie ,, IT DOESN"T HAVE TO , I'd watch your husband if I were you
2007-12-02 11:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by darkcloud 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a hard one..........but if you have been letting this go for 11 months now, I"m sure you want to believe him......right?
When you end up allowing or get yourself envolved with EX'S, there is bond to be trouble.
I had a bf whom I got involved with communicating with his ex gf. She was telling me all kinds of **** in emails, he of course denided it and told me to stop contacting her! It was hard for me to do, cuz he was still contacting her!! She finally told me enough, that I left him. He turned around and had her as his best buddy again!! He read her emails and what she was telling me, so I thought they were working me from both sides.
LET this chick be. Try and believe your hubby. She was probably wanting to interferre with your marriage and he put a stop to it by not corresponding with her.
HOWEVER.............it's hard getting someones cell phone number, so I'd be questioning that one!!
2007-12-02 11:17:52 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋