My two best friends are sexually active. One sleeps with her boyfriend and the other casually sleeps around. I have never had sex before and don't choose to right now because I am not in love or in a committed relationship. I refuse to give away my body for short-lived pleasure and false intimacy to someone who hardly cares about me. I realize that sex isn't always regarded so flippantly and that sex can be good in the right situations - these are just my personal convictions.
But.. I feel so alienated from my best friends in that respect. I hate that I cannot relate to them, and sometimes it makes me want to become sexually active so that I won't feel weird and inexperienced. One of my friends is sleeping with a guy she really likes, but their relationship status is vague and he is non-committal. I really want to be there to support her, but I feel so uncomfortable when she talks about their sexual behavior. I can't help it - it disgusts me.
What can I do?
2007-12-02 10:38:38 · 10 answers · asked by fern 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm 22 years old.
2007-12-02 15:03:09 · update #1
Hi fern,
We have this habit of being carried away to do something we don't like because "everyone else is doing it". As a result, when we joined in the bandwagon, it gives us a hollow feeling of emptiness and discontent. Your values about "sex issue" is admirable and I would really advise you to stick to what you believe rather than "joining the flow". You seem to be a person who whistles to her own tune and dance at her own pace. Continue being that way because it means that "you are your own person". Going back to the sex thing, let me just say that "you're right". Give yourself wholeheartedly to someone who means everything to you, instead to just casually giving yourself to others. That way when the time come for you to have sex, it will a most memorable and wonderful experience. Let me just remind you again to stick to your values. You're doing very well now and I believe a lot of them out there reading this question will wholeheartedly agree with you.
2007-12-02 11:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The next time your friend talks about her sexual behavior, let her know that not only does it make you feel uncomfortable; it is none of your business and this is something that she has to keep to herself. Don't feel pressured to have sex just because your friends are doing "it." You have a lot of respect for yourself and that is extremely important. You are willing to wait for the right person and to be in a committed relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. The sooner you tell your friend how you feel, the sooner that she will stop sharing her sex life with you. She doesn't even know how you feel about the situation if you don't tell her. In the meantime, keep your self-respect and the right guy will come along when you least expect it. Patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait. Good luck.
P.S. At least you don't have to worry about unwanted pregnancies, STD's, and HIV/AIDS. That is very serious.
2007-12-02 10:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by Lady S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When she talks about her 'sexual behavior' just walk away or tell her you are uncomfortable. They both have a risk of getting pregnant and your other friend probably has HIV/AIDS its a big risk on having sex especially when you say she 'sleeps around.' Just wait for your time don't have sex with a boyfriend who will probably end up breaking up with you. How old are you?
2007-12-02 10:57:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your beliefs. I'll bet if the truth were told your two friends would love to trade places with you. Once you lose your virginity, and you start sleeping around.....relationships become very hard to control and young men will no doubt toss the girls aside when they are tired of them.
2007-12-02 10:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by Clueless 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd recommend finding friends you can relate to. Don't give in to the feeling that just because everyone else is doing it, you should, too. Be there for your friends, but tell them you don't want to hear about it. They should respect that.
2007-12-02 10:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe your suffering from what "Progressives" call a conscience. You MUST by all means not continue holding on to such outdated morals & values. To have any street "cred" today you must act the part i.e. a SLUT. J/K!
Don't give in to pressure.
2007-12-02 10:46:37 · answer #6 · answered by infidel-louie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gud job girl just be Ur self there are lots of guys that have Ur same view about sex just look around and don't follow Ur friends and do that if u feel uncomfortable
2007-12-02 10:43:34 · answer #7 · answered by goony_4life 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing at all wrong with you or your beleifs. You might want to widen your circle of friends to include those who have the same values as you do.
2007-12-02 10:59:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good job! stick to your beliefs. One should only have sex with someone that the one TRULY cares about you. not ..."oh i like you cutie, lets go sleep together" that is BAD!
but keep doing what you are doing!
2007-12-02 10:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
placed on rainboots/the different type of elegant boots. Whistle Snap their palms (i have been attempting for years.) I have very slender ft, which curiously do compared to boots. :( Too undesirable, because i appreciate boots! (Cowboy boots, rainboots, those boots with the buckle on the side...)
2016-10-25 08:14:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋