Why would my partner of 5 years be acting like this?

Question

My partner gets paranoid.Examples-hell go to male cousin's wedding,meet other male cousin at parties.When my aunt invites him for dinner 1 time he declined 2 time he said hell be there with other male cousin but never turned up.If i make plans hell take long time to decide saying yes or no i dont know till last minute if hell be there or not.He says women in general play games have ulterior motives agenda including my aunt & I.Everyone is baffled,his parents severed ties with him as teenager was in gang,aunt or ive no idea why he acts talks this way.What is going on with him?

Dont say commit phobia or therapy.We have 11 months to commit marry & therapy didnt work.

No 3 person cheating involved from either side

No hes not been this way,hes in 30s professional own house car great sense of humor popular loving kind weve been through everything.

Answer 1

This man has he got friends or is he in gang or something shady
Maybe thats reason he suspects thinks every women is that way since people in such environment dont have high opinion of women.

Answer 2

sounds like he is starting to develop some real mental health problems, like schizophrenia and i am not saying that to be funny or smarta$$, i'm serious and a trip to a professional is in order, you don't really know what his problems were when he was a teen, and their are some mental health issues that do show up as a teen and a gang involvement can be a symptom of this and if this turns out to be the problem u need to give some serious thought to if you want to stay or not, as this is a lifetime illiness and can be a huge problem, the meds if they work make the symptoms better, then they feel good and dont feel they need the meds, which is the start of a vicious circle, but u won't know until he goes to get some help

Answer 3

Time changes everything. For some unknown reason hes lost confidence in the decisions he makes or doesnt make. Hes afraid to give a definite committed answer and is trying to avoid real answers he has to commit to. Maybe hes had too many answers come back to bite him so hes afraid to make another. This happens alot to men in their 30s and 40s with an unstable background with relationships. What time has changed will again change everything so give him time and he ll come back around. Good luck and Happy Holidays

Answer 4

well then...instead of making plans with him then make plans without him. you waiting for him to get his act together is not making things any easier and is frustrating you. stop thinking about him and start thinking about your needs. if you want to see your aunt...go see her. just becuse you two are married doesnt' mean that you are joined at the hip and MUST do everything together. people need their space to grow. maybe he needs to have his so he can grow. give him a taste of his own medicine.

Answer 5

Sometimes it boils down to this: Love him for some things and in spite of others or realize that since he won't change you will have to by leaving him for someone more promising and easier to live with.

Answer 6

I have no experience with partner/partner same sex couples, but I'm sure in a family situations it would be difficult

Answer 7

he sounds paranoid to me, and no one u would really want to be in your life, just too much going on in his head, he also doesn't seem to have a very high opinion of women.

Answer 8

I d dump him... And not put up with it... Who knows why he is flaking....He needs a check up from the neck up..

Answer 9

Has he always been this way?

Answer 10

he is an irresponsible jackass would be my guess