Ok here we go! My friend is in a relationship that's very up and down. She and her husband fight constantly and it leaves her in tears every single time. She wants us all to go out on a double date so the spouses can get to know one another. She's always telling me she wants us all to be friends. Well...friday she was over my house, and her husband was at his friends house. She was talking to him on the phone when they begin argueing bc she's clingy and never wants her husband away from her. He wanted to kick it with his friends, and told her to kick it with me. I seen this was going to be another fight which would leave her in tears, so I asked to speak to her husband whom I asked if she could stay with me bc he's possesive so I have to ask, he said "im trying to tell her that" when I handed the phone back to her and they finished talking she said this "what did you say to him bc he was acting different after talking to you" keep in mind I was sitting rt next to her when I spoke with
2007-12-02 10:02:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
him.We went to get gas and she repeated again that he acted diff. after talk. to me.That through me off bc I was like, yall were already argu.She was crying again bc she was mad at him, so I took her phone and text him asking that he call and work it our bc i was tired of her crying and ****. He never did, so she went home. The next morning I called her several times, and sent her mess. asking if she was ok, she never responded, so I texted her husb saying "is she ok, please have her call me". I get a mess. back from him saying "its not ok for u to be texting me, I wouldn't want my friend texting my wife" I said ok and that i was sorry. So I text her, and she finally responded saying she was uncomfortable with me texting her hus., so I said sorry AGAIN, and I also said "don't blame me for your issues with your husband, he beats you, embar. you all the time, and you need to be taking it out on him" She swears it wasn't that. I feel weird talking to him now and she got mad bc I cx dinn.
2007-12-02 10:02:47 · update #1
there are people in the world u are not going to be able to help, although u have good intentions, she was jealous of u, and these people have issues u can't help, cut all ties with these people, u can't help them and all u will do is get in the middle of it. she didn't like how the husband responded to what u said and became calm, as she can't get the same response from him, so she feels u are now a threat to her marriage.
2007-12-02 10:37:35 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is in a typical abusive relationship. Her husband doesnt want you to have too much influence in her life because then he would lose his control. She is clingly because he has made her that way. She feels she has to be with him at all time because he has made her feel insecure. Its how he operates. He is a control freak and an abuser. I think the best thing for you to do is to tell your friend that you understand she is in an abusive relationship and if she really wants to change her life then you will be there for her. She is the one who needs to make the break, but she is not strong enough. Maybe suggest that she should ring a domestic violence hotline and get some information. It wouldnt hurt you to ring them too so as you will have a better understanding of what your friend is going through. The more you become involved in their life, the more you will push her away. She is afraid of her husband, and the more you try to help her, the more she will withdraw. She would probably get abused by the mere fact that she spoke to you about their problems. An abuser doesnt want everyone to know what a dirty rotten insect he is. Just be there for her, thats the best you can do. Make her aware though that you know her husband is an abuser and that it is unacceptable. Thats all you can do......be there for her if she needs you. I know its annoying when someone cries all the time about their relationship but does nothing about it. She is afraid, she has been weakened by the abuse. Maybe one day she will realise just how unhealthy the relationship is.
2007-12-02 18:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you thought you were doing the right thing but it sounds like these people need to see a head Dr and get a check up from the neck up.... Don't bother with her any more... It could get violent and next time it might be you on the receiving end of it... This is why allot of cops don't like to get called out on a domestic violence calls... Cause the wife turns on them after her man beats her as*... So back off and let these people to them selves....
2007-12-02 18:26:29 · answer #3 · answered by diva102288 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes actions with good intentions backfire on us and this is one of those times. Alot of times its just best to let people fight their own battles. She knows full well what she has in her marriage and that she could get out if she really wanted to but sometimes alot of couples love to fight to make up and enjoy this exact kind of relationship so as you mean well, you must back off helping and let them go at it. You can let her know that youll be there in case she needs you but thats all, because you dont need her husband taking it out on you nor her getting mad because all you did was try to help. Then stay out of where even Angels fear to tread. Good luck and Happy Holidays
2007-12-02 18:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The last thing you needed to do was get involved.. I think it's time now to let them be if she is happy being clingy then let her be clingy.. you can only help her if she askes but if not just let her go...
2007-12-02 18:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have the time for reading your book
2007-12-02 19:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Dr Phil 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋