Why should I stay married?

Question

I am married. I hate being married. My husband is a JW and preaches 7 days a week and does not work. I have been supporting us for the last 4 years with no help. I have a child from a prev relationship, Hubby takes no responsibility for him. Does not provide food or clothes or attention or play with him ( he is 11 now) or cook meals for him, or anything!! and never has. Just complains about his noise and quirks ( he is special Ed) like he is in the way.
Hubby doesn't take care of me at all. No dinners out, no gifts, no special anythings but he says he loves me and appreciates everything I do. I do everything cause I have to, not cause I am wanting to! Hubby's world revolves around his work outs, his runningm, his preaching, his enema's ( for colon health) shaving, showering, sleeping and resting. My washer has been broken for 3 weeks. He didnt even bother to try and look at it till I hauled it to the back patio MYSELF since he said it was SO much work to move it to look at it.

(Ran out of room) The washer now sits with nothing being done about it. son and I have almost no clotthes or towels - hubby acts like nothing is wrong. I feel hubby is selfish and not plugged in. SHould have stayed single as he actslike he still is. I feel being married means you BOTH pull together and make things work together. not one doing everything and the other being thanksful. I desperately want to feel secure and safe and like I'm not on the edge of a cliff holding on to two people dangling over the edge. I feel I will never get this from him, he will never "get it" and help and that he will always expect me to save us and everything like I always have. I have a serious depression problem that is getting so bad that I would not be here if I didnt have my child to care for. I feel no fulfilment or contentment. Just stress and pressure 24/7 with no one to turn to for help. If I have no one, why should I stay married. Wouldnt it be easier to be alone than carry him 4ever?

I did tell him i came with my kid. He said that was fine. Then renigged later. Says since my son has problems that he just "can't deal with him"

Stayed cause when I was child my father was incedible verbally abusive. Yelled non stop. as an adule I do everything I can to just have peace. to avoid fighting and conflict. Its a defect I guess that I just figured out. Plus hubby always turns my dperession on me and makes me believe or feel that the problems are cause of me, or i'm not thinking right or over reacting. I get so confused. I am not high mainetenance at all, i dont need alot and I am a nice person - i try anyways. I dont understand how I could do so much for him and not get anything back but a "thanks.. can you make my shake I have to go"

Boyfriend.. haha I am seriously considering it. Too bad I dont have my own car! b :)

Answer 1

Honestly, I kinda find this story hard to believe. For one thing if he truly is a Christian husband as you claim he would realise his need to provide for you.

If as you say he doesn't have a job, then why would you be surprised by him not taking you out to eat?? He wouldn't have money for it.

Answer 2

First, you deserve better. If you had no children you should have moved on. But, anyone who treats a child that way deserves much worse than you leaving him. How dare someone say they are a preacher for any religion, which is normally a job to help others, not even be there for his own family. What a hypocrite! He sounds mentally unstable. I think you should find a family member or friend and run, run, run. If he was at least at home helping with your son and the house I could see a possible hesitation. But what you describe is terrible. And if you don't do something about it, I am sorry to say you are not much better, considering your son. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Sweetie, what WERE you thinking when you married this oaf. You don't have a marriage hon, not even close.

I think marriage is Respect, Admiration, Passion and Trust, with a whole lot of lovies, and doing things for the other. I think your Sig. Other is the prime objective for your life, and if that person isn't, then why bother? I think as well, settling for number two after a guy's job is fine.... what you do is who you are.... but what you have stated is absolutely off the wall.

You must ask yourself, what are you getting out of this marriage???? From your posting, I don't see much... For sure he shows you no love, nor respect, nor admiration. And you are pulling more than your weight financially.

I adored being married. Having a loving partner completed my life, and gave me direction. But he did indeed pull his weight, and indeed was loving, and we did indeed go away together, and loved it. And I left this very long marriage only when all of his addictions finally put me as number 6 on his list of priorities. Sweetie, you are down there somewhere near the goldfish...about number 32. Why are you still there?

Answer 4

It sounds to me like your husband is very selfish and needs a wake up call.
Have you told him how you feel?

I am not sure what a JW is, but I tell you if my husband didnt have a job and wasnt contributing to anything around the house we'd have a serious problem. The least he can do is take care of the house and your son. The way he treats your child is horrible. Why would you put up with it for so long?

Answer 5

Wow! If half of what you are telling us is true,you all ready know you have a lot of work a-head of you self.
He sounds like a clean healthy guy and you must love him very much or he would of been packing a long time ago.I will assume you want to keep him but your looking for him to change.If your the only one working he should be doing most of the work at home,including taking care of his step son.He should also be looking for a job.
We don't have the whole story about him but if I were in your shoes I would try as hard as I could to get him to join the family.You may need to get some counseling or ma by talk to your church.He really needs to start acting like the man in the house.
Unless he changes his ways I'd think about getting rid of the bum.

Answer 6

You shall understand them by means of their fruit. Actions talk louder than phrases. You have recounted the caution indicators. It is well that you're wondering whether or not you must maintain on this dating. I might say you 2 are unequally yoked. If you're critical approximately your religion, then your long term husband must be regarded the pinnacle of the loved ones (up to we females do not like that). And if he does no longer take the reins of spirituality on your loved ones, then your loved ones won't develop in God and can be out of steadiness. It's a lonely travel for the spouse to pursue God on her possess. And it's more likely to worsen as soon as you are married (I understand this from private enjoy). As a Christian lady, it's an quality thought to require in a long term husband a person who's inclined to wish with you. This demonstrates a humble, godly angle and a spirit of intimacy that's particularly primary in a wedding dating. If you'll be able to pray in combination, then your marriage has a miles bigger hazard at succeeding. It is continuously extra intricate to do the correct factor than the incorrect factor. But it continuously can pay off sooner or later. Sometimes you must stop what looks to be well with a purpose to be to be had to acquire the quality. I might on the VERY least placed the engagement on keep. I might additionally search suggest from a mature Christian who has proven knowledge to you. I consider different respondents that it isn't sensible to search recommendation off the web for some thing this primary. Obviously, you acquired a few unsolicited solutions despite the fact that you requested for sound Christian recommendation. You have no idea any folks. Please watch out whose recommendation you are taking in existence. If they are within the Word and developing towards God, then the ones men and women might be valued at paying attention to. May God monitor Himself to you in a distinctive means!

Answer 7

When a man doesn't respect your child, you have a serious problem. You're a grown-up and you can get over it, but never let anyone disrespect your child especially in his delicate nature. You can either try to get counseling first, if you love him, but if you don't you know the answer...get out. I have two children myself, one has epilepsy and the other ADHD and their so called father almost mixed up their medication one day and gave the wrong medication to the wrong child! trust me in this day and age, women can do it on their own. get yourself together first, emotionally and financially and then allow someone in that has the same as you. Never settle for less.

Answer 8

Your first sentence says it all and the story that came with it, only confirms that you deserve better than that. You also have a son to raise, you want that man as as example of how to treat a woman?

I would definitely leave him, he may be doing God's work, but he's sure living the devil's way.

Answer 9

Marriage is a two way street one person can not do it all by themselves. Get your self some help through social services, get established and then get a divorce. Divorce is hard however in the long run everyone will be happier

Answer 10

Get out of that realtionship now! Your needs and your son's needs are not being met and he is lazy and you deserve a better man than that