is it possible to love and hate ur husband at the same time?my frnd is always in arguemnts and rows wid her

Question

husband, she always try her best to b nice wid him but he always gives her rubish and stupids things back,for example he always tries 2 b dectator, telling her where 2 go and where nt to go, wat 2 wear and wat to nt?she dont like all this but as human u need some one so she is rying her best to be wid him all i know is there is difference btw them she is white and he is from pakistan and there is cultural difference there, i dont know how to guide her, just now she told me she was hving such a nice time and all of sudden wen he saw her on net he became mad and srarted row over it, she sed she was looking 4 some sites for her assignment he thought she is chatting 2 some1, he took the router off and told her u cant see ur frnds any more and started arguements , she was crying 2 me i dont wat to say her, coz she always at the end does wat she likes and she is suffering a lot, i dont knw wat is my rolem plz let me knw wen ever she comes 2 me wat shall i say 2 her,

she has no family at her back only i am her frnd, i am good wid her coz she left all her things for this man, her name her religion and all.i was so up set to day wen she told me how nice breakfast she made 4 him and how good meal she did wid candle, and wat she got at the end, she sed he is only nice 2 her 4 sex after getting that he always turnes 2 nasty, she sed to me to day ,,IS IT POSSIBLE FOR SOME ONE 2 LOVE AND HATE AT THE SAME TIME ?it was painfull, him his family all are same , plz guide me may be i can do , or shall i leave her on her own coz thats wat her hubby wants from her, plzz guide me give me some tips how shall i tell her u r trying for nothing coz a pakistani i know our people.

i am really sorry 4 sp mistakes , i was on fone wid her and trying 2 write all things, so those who were asking me to check spellings,plz ignore this it is nt issue, big issue is her life.

Answer 1

yes, a person can't love someone without ever arguing with them.....that releases the frustration and they could still love each other........it's a love/hate relationship, but if it is really often and things get out of control, they should seek a marriage counselor

Answer 2

First, I want to say that yes it is possible.
You can hate the things someone "does "to you and how they "treat" you...but still love them. Love is prejected outward to someone else. Love is an outgoing concern for someone else over yourself.
Therefore, the question here is if this lady loves "herself "to be treated this way?
It is quite obvious that she loves him and that he is jealous over her. He may be using her love of him to rule over her and that is not good. She should sit down and have a talk with him about his actions and how it makes her feel. She is human and has a life that is with him and one also that doesn't always involve him...she needs some room for independence so she can
still see her friend and talk with them and that he should "TRUST" her in doing that. Otherwise, she will end up with no one at all except him and a very unhappy existence.
They should be sharing all things together and the most important part of this is sharing, not ruling. The doors of communication has to be kept open even in this situation, or they will be closed forever and one of them will pay for that.
Each individual needs room to breathe and also to feel confident in the decisions they make. Just because they are married doesn't mean that their life should be totally and completely limited to one another...just that they are commited to each other.

There is definitely a lack of trust in this marriage or he would not be coming down on her like that. There is definitely a selfish desire and maybe insecurity also.

There isn't much you can say or do to help her except to listen to what she says and
maybe point out a few of these things to her and ask her if she has discussed them with him.

Answer 3

be open to her she needs to know that thier is a sever problem, the couple may need a counseler to try and figure out a tolorant answer, but the way she is being treated makes her sound like a child not a wife if it continues down this path thier may be trouble later in thier life.

Answer 4

OF course it's possile it's her husband he holds a piece of her with him at all times she does need to step up and tell him that she is her own woman
But at the same time she needs to realize he might have grown up wit different traditions and causes for woman
she needs to let him no he is in america and he is not in charge of her

Answer 5

Salaam Alaykum
Threaten him with a divorce and stay at her mom's make the condition of her return he allows her to keep her friends.
This allows works with them. They like to control but turn into mushballs when you are gone. He will cry like a baby but tell her to stand firm or suffer. If she can't stay with family can she stay with you. You know how shameful divorce is to him.
Wasalaam

Answer 6

take it from some one who knows what that feels like. he is emotionally abusing her. yes you can lone and dislike you husband but not hate him because if you really love him you would for get why you are even mad at him. she needs to get out of that situation and find someone else before it gets worse.

Answer 7

it is possible to love and hate your husband at the same time but i think this husband is kind of taking over her life. sorry i couldn't put it into a nicer sentence:(

Answer 8

Is there any other way to be? It's called a 'love/hate relationship'

He sounds like a real tool.

Answer 9

she needs to get away as fast as she can from that man! controlling relationship most always end up bad! be there 4 her and help her in any way that you can!

Answer 10

yes it's possible! I always love my husband but there are times that I hate him so much I wish we weren't married. Just be her friend and listen when she needs you to.