IN Love with Another Woman?

Question

I find myself at a crossroads, I been married for 13 years we've had a lot of struggles in our relationship, but we've made it through most of them. There has always been a big one, the issue of kids, my wife doesn't seem to have the maternal instinct and what's worse she doesn't like to talk about it. The older I get the more I feel I'd like to be a father.

Enter the younger woman, she 's come into my life for only a short time but i feel a connection with her. Culturally we share a common background so I feel I can talk to her, she's brought out a lot of buried feelings about my culture that I denied were there.

I'm really confused, I can really picture my life with this other woman , what do I do? Do I talk to her about how I feel???

Answer 1

wow, being a man it is a normal instinct to want to produce children, if your wife can't understand that , your relationship want last much longer. if you feel that unhappy maybe you should consider a divorce oppose to cheating on her. but dont get the divorce assuming the young girl we be available, she may or may not. but if you feel you would be happier with the other lady, you need to consider a divorce. you never know maybe your wife might re-consider if she sees your marriage falling apart

Answer 2

This is crazy, because I am in a similiar situation..wanting another child and finding a connection with someone other than my own spouse.

My opinion is that you should give it another shot by having the conversation with your wife about your desire to have children. If she refuses or shows no interest tell her that you feel it is affecting your marriage and future life together.

If she does not compromise then let her know that you feel you both need to seek marriage counseling, because you are feeling at the crossroads on your marriage today.

You want kids and there is nothing wrong with that, but might I add that if you already notice that your wife does not have an maternal instinct, ask yourself if this a person you really want to have your child. My husband is not fatherly at all, but my desire to have children still led me to have them. Now I have to be reminded about how disconnected of a father he is and how he does not spend the quality time with them like I think he should.

I am not saying run to the other woman, but take time to figure out if this is something you are willing to bury (your desire for kids) for the rest of your life.

I also think you should consider knowing someone for AWHILE before you decide to have kids with them. That is a major decision.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

you have been struggling for 13 years. And struggles often leave people exhausted. You don't seem to have much in common. You do deserve to be happy and to have kids. There is nothing wrong with leaving a failed marriage and starting a new one. Don't rush into it though. Tell your wife you need a break a part to think about things. Leave your house for a while and see how that makes you feel. You could also date that other woman but ONLY if you are honest about it with your wife.
I wish you the best

Answer 4

I think you and your wife need to sort out the children issue because it is important to you... If you spend the rest of your life with your wife you will eventually regret being with her for so long. go to a marriage councellor and have a chat about the children thing obviously if she doesn't want to talk about it the only option you have is to pershue a relationship with someone else... Your wife deserves to be talked to first before you do anything but if she refuses to talk about it then I think it might be time to cut your losses and move on

Answer 5

If you really know you wish to be a father, tell your wife the truth about it all. You are feeling a connection with this younger woman because she connects with you culturally and she probably wants children. Right now, that looks good to you.

Deal with your marriage first, and if that doesn't work out, you will be free to pursue whoever you wish.

Answer 6

First of all the first one you should be talking to is your wife you owe her this much respect let her know how you are feelong and than take the ball from there. There are things that you should have known about your wife before you married her. and now your regreating that you married her and having affair is not the answer it lies within you and her both. If you cant be faithful to your wife whats to say you will be faithfull to your lover.

best of luck

Answer 7

Seems you have more issues than just the kid issues, and I think you need to have a heart to heart with your wife about all the issues that are going on in your marriage and seek help for the both of you, thats if your truly interested in saving your marriage...bottom line your cheating and thats not fair to your wife....if your that unhappy get a divorce and move on...

Answer 8

Before you start another relationship ,finish the other one.Before you got married,you should have talked about children.Communication is the key to any marriage.Tell your wife you are feeling attracted to another woman,and why.She might not like it ,but she's going to have to think.Some times people grow apart,the question is are you going to be honest with yourself,about what you really want to do.

Answer 9

You knew your wife didnt want kids BEFORE married her didnt you?
Either way you made a commitment to her.Why would you want to force her to have kids?She may end up murdering them like the other low lifes you see in the news.
It doesnt mean she is evil, she is just not mother material.You married her for a reason, starting treating her as if you were dating her and see what happens.

Answer 10

NO you leave this "other woman" your cheating emotionaly on your wife! you chose your wife before you got married so if you wanted kids you should have talked about it before this the wedding day! sorry you have to talk to your wife into it!