I have really let myself down and feel like a HUGE HYPOCRITE. Now I am cheating and know fully well it needs to stop. It's like we are on crack (I'm speaking for both parties involved), and my guilt is killing me and I am ashamed to tell anyone what I've done. It's more emotional than physical by all means. I am not going to try to shift blame on our spouses for our disrespectful behavior, although I'd be lying if I said they didn't add fuel to the fire. I am just basically looking for advice on how to end something without it ending ugly. I have noticed that we will make up petty arguments to find reason to leave it alone, but it's not working. It's hard to end, because we really like each other..BTW...Neither of us never plan to leave our family or want to hurt our spouses. This has to stop immediately. BUT HOW?
P.S. We were both cheated on by our spouses..but this is NOT the reason for affair..Not looking for it, but 1 day attraction led convo at work in different direction
2007-12-02 09:03:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only way for it to stop is for it to stop. No phone calls, e-mails, letters..You will miss each other and maybe even grieve over this relationship. It will be hard at first and with time it will be easier.
You will also have to forgive yourself for this or the guilt will eat at you....
2007-12-02 09:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically stop having contact with each other. Delete phone numbers from your cell phone. Then see a therapist to help you work through this. Also, you have exposed you spouse to health risks. Think about it. Your spouses both cheated and had sex with others, and now you are doing the same thing, so that is a lot of potential for STDs. You owe it to yourself to get tested (and own up and have your spouse get tested to). There is nothing but your own self control preventing you from stopping what you are doing.
2007-12-02 09:08:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is never a good reason to have and affair sometimes it just happens because what use to be in your marriage is gone and you miss it , You need not to see this person again and let him know that it was nice while it latest but it is over and don't call or try to see you again.
best of luck
2007-12-02 13:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop; it is that simple. I recently had a huge mutual attraction to a man and he called to invite me out, and my spouse cheated on me also - but I declined this mans invitation as I knew no good would come of it all.
Don't have any contact with the other man; period.
2007-12-02 12:27:55 · answer #4 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start up a real casual affair with some one else for a few weeks and you will be able to shake off the one you are in right now. Keep the new affair aloof and noncommittal so you can cut it off when ever you like.
2007-12-02 09:24:28 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Un-couth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you both are self centered and want your cake and eat it too! and you are acting like you have an excuse to cheat, I hope everything blows up in both your faces real soon! you all need to get a divorce and you will eventually, thats something you can definitly count on. you might as well get it over with now and stop wasting everybody's time. no wonder they cheated on yall first! And i hope they still are! and they probly are still cheatin is the funny part! just have an orgy why dont cha?
2007-12-02 09:22:52 · answer #6 · answered by GTASE 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm in the same situation but I haven't had sex yet. It's addictive as hell, isn't it? I always told myself this would never happen, but it has. I want it to stop sometimes, but sometimes I don't. I feel like a guilty jerk.
You will eventually get caught and all hell will break loose. There is no stopping this.
you are not alone
2007-12-02 09:09:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, a happily married person may desire to have sex with someone else. A happy marriage is about a lot more than just sex. One can be happy in a relationship, but still enjoy a forbidden thrill.
2016-04-07 04:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are available and he is using you.
You are just the latest in a string of extramarital affairs for him.
Each and every time he has/will say that the wife at home is terrible and doesn't love him and he wants to leave her... but he never will.
When you quit being available, he will move on to his next conquest.
Quit being user-friendly.
2007-12-02 09:14:26 · answer #9 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first question is how it first started.Most affairs start because there something wrong with your marriage.You need to ask yourself "what attracts me to this man"? There has to be something ,other wise it would be ease to let go.
2007-12-02 10:01:52 · answer #10 · answered by lala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋