I was a peace of pooh for the first few years that me and my wife have been together. Now I work, cook, clean, get my kids up for school. If I set down for 10 min to take a break my wife jumps all over me for the things that I haven't done and then reminds me of the things that I have done in the past. AM I FIGHTING A LOOSING BATTLE?
2007-12-02 08:28:09 · 20 answers · asked by Chopper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she's basically unhappy with herself, and should be happy she has a good hubby who does things for her. she sounds way too controlling and maybe u need to confront her, a person will treat u the way u let them, if u say nothing she will keep it up and continue this, if u tell her how u feel, she may stop it.
2007-12-02 08:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are calling it a "battle" means that there is trouble. You two need to talk about this. I have a feeling that she is not intending to treat you that way and that there is a reason why she is. Take some time away from the chores to sit down with your wife, tell her you love her, and figure out how to share the load.
Stop fighting a battle. You are on the same team.
2007-12-02 08:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by Smooth_obes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the man of that household and turn things around. So what you were Poo, it's not to late.... DON'T BE AFRAID TO TAKE CHARGE.
My Uncle was doing the same thing as you for about 15+ years. We kept telling him that he deserved to have a wife that helped out more and was appreciative. He never did anything and continued on just like a lil slave. He just got fed up and left my aunt. Now their family is destroyed. The kids are depressed, my Aunt's ready to kill herself over this divorce (even though she was the cause of the problem)
See, it doesn't have to get to that point. You don't want to break up your family. This problem can be solved. If you really love your wife, put your foot down. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you deserve respect and love and HELP. Take her to counseling if needed. Sounds like she has low self esteem if she's trying to bring you down. Sounds like she has not forgiven you for the way you treated her before.
YOU ARE NOT FIGHTING A LOOSING BATTLE UNTIL YOU HAVE TRIED ALL OPTIONS ! Remember you have to nip this problem in the bud now in order to keep a good marriage. I make sure I tell my husband Thank you and we work as a team. Tell her to email me if she doesn't know how to do that.
2007-12-02 08:31:36 · answer #3 · answered by Journey 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Battle against WHAT? If you feel like you are fighting your wife, guess again - you are fighting your own self esteem!!!
You WILL loose the battle unless you STAND UP for yourself and TELL her to BACK OFF. You also need to remind her that sticking you for things from the past THAT YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT is TOTALLY un called for, and you DO NOT WANT TO EVER HEAR ABOUT IT AGAIN!!!
What is done is done - start tomorrow fresh, and do NOT let ANYONE push you around!
2007-12-02 08:37:47 · answer #4 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you sit down for 10 minutes what is your wife doing? You may be giving yourself more credit than is due.
I find that my husband wants an award for doing the dishes once a month, but never notices how I work full time, go to school part time, raise 3 kids(2 are disabled), keep the house clean and still have time for friends and him. Oh but he did the dishes...WOW
2007-12-02 08:47:38 · answer #5 · answered by kidzrdrivinmekrazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe, maybe not u ever think she is terrified that u will return to the old u, and she is going about it all wrong, how about a little counseling before jumping ship, do everything u can in good conscience without becoming a doormat to save your marriage not just for the the kids but for your peace of mind, then u will know and believe u did everything u could to save your marriage. sounds like u two need some help to learn how to fight fair, staying on point, no name calling, and not bringing up the past, so look into getting some help not just for her, but for both of you, it wont do you anygood to throw her under the bus so to speak and think she is the only one who needs help. get moving all ready this wont fix itself and good luck
2007-12-02 08:40:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dale T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're joking right? If things are as you say they are, that's no marriage. Seek counciling and if that diesn't work seek a divorce and get custody of the kids and file for her to pay you child support, while you're at it grow a backbone. What's good for your kids? If they came to you for this type advise, what would you tell them?
2007-12-02 08:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are trying to make up for past mistakes... maybe its time to sit down and have a real heart to heart and explain you are sorry for the years that you were a piece of pooh ... but you realized how you were behaving and you have changed but wont be treated like you are under her .. its a equal relationship ..so act like it ... good luck.
2007-12-02 08:57:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your be always makin up for the past. have u tried tellin her how u feel. i think your need to find a happy medium some where. maybe when u need a rest, go out somewhere, take a real break
2007-12-02 08:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds a little overbearing.....your trying to make up for being a jerk in the past so she needs to get over it and let you be a man and let your marriage work itself out. she's your wife not your mother...just tell her your done being her doormat and you want it to stop.
2007-12-02 08:47:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋