My Dad being unfair!!??

Question

Yesterday, because I refused to go to tennis practice and for yelling, my dad made me run 5times around the neighborhood block. I'm 14. I got bored of playing tennis, and my dad said that I was lazy and then I accused him of making me play tennis only because he does(He's a tennis coach) Then he got all pissed and told me to run around the our block 5 times, and our blocks are big. Plus, it was cold outside. Do you think is right? My dad or me?

I'm into soccer..But soccer season is over.

Answer 1

Um, thats kinda harsh for not wanting to follow in his footsteps, maybe you can make a compromise and play a different sport.

Answer 2

First, your Dad loves you and he is right. If he didn't, he would not bother telling you anything and let you drift. He is trying to provide you with a discipline work habit that goes beyond tennis. Its a life lesson and those comes in different shapes and forms. Typically, given by people that you care about the most.

First lesson is for free. Life is not fair or reflect the fantasy world you live in. Life requires you to go to a job you typically do not like, work more hours than you can imagined, pay you less money than you can live on and spent the money on basics such as house, utilities, food and gas. Notice no money for shopping, concerts, dinners, etc.

At 14, you do not know who you are and what you believe. It takes time and experience in life. Listen to your Dad. He has your best interest in mind and heart.

Now, have you ever watch a tennis match at a professional level? If so, notice how many people play? Two. Now many people watch? Tens, hundreds, thousands even millions.

The point here is your dad is trying to teach you a special and unique lifestyle because it would bring you happiness.
He has knowledge that would make you special. Asked yourself if not tennis, what would you be doing with your time?

Run the laps and give your Dad a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him too. Good luck to you in the future and it is my hope that you will developed the courage to become the special person your Dad dreams about it. 90% of the people are mediocre or average (unhappy). Less than 10% do something special. What are you going to do? Remember, afterall, its your choice.

Answer 3

There isn't quite enough information, as always - all depends on how it went down. So here are 4 things to consider:

1) Your refusal to go to tennis practice: depends a lot on what you wanted to do instead. As parents (I'm a father), we need to "push" kids a little bit. Let's fact it, without the push, most kids do have a tendency to do as little as possible. Parents who don't push just to avoid a fight are just being lazy themselves. We need to be supportive and encouraging, while nudging our kids along. Is tennis really boring? To many, it's a great game that trains both the body and the mind (strategy, strength, motor skills, fitnes...) Some kids would KILL to have a tennis coach as Dad. You need to ask yourself why you'd rather be doing what you wanted to do instead of tennis, and whether it's better for you. Are you sure you've given tennis a fair chance?

2) Yelling: that would be a no-no. I actually think parents shouldn't yell either, because yelling gets in the way (most of the time) of good communication. But I'll wait for your Dad's post to give him that advice.

3) The punishment: I can think of worse punishment than running around long blocks five times. As a responsible parent, I hope your Dad was sure that it wasn't too cold outside (many places in Canada). The fairness of the punishment would depend a little on whether this was a first or repeated offence.

4) The resolution: where do you go from here? Fighting between parent and child is good for neither. Parents often need to be more patient and more understanding, while kids need to be more respectful and obedient. What kind of world would it be where kids of all ages are free to diss their parents? I've always allowed my kids to challenge and disagree with me (your Dad may not operate like that, so don't hold me to it); the key is, even in disagreement, they need to be respectful and loving.

If you cannot have a great relationship with your parent (or parents, if you can't have a great relationship with your child), it's highly doubtful that you can have a long-running healthy relationship with very many other people.

Answer 4

Try to talk to your dad and explain you like soccer very much and are not into soccer, and stop accusing him, that will only make him mad. Make sure to bring up the fact that it is not because you are lazy, you proved that by actully running around for 5 long blocks, it is just not something you are into. However, maybe you should give Tennis another chance, it could just be something to do to kill time before soccer season starts again. Good luck!

Answer 5

I think your dad is an "abusive" person and very "controlling". Not everybody likes the same things. I think he should be made to run around your block ten times for not being able to understands the needs of a 14 years old teenager. I think running around the block ten times will help him stay slim and keep his temper cool. Let's see if he would enjoy that. You should do some form of exercise though, at least something that you would enjoy ...could be some other sports ? ...just keep yourself active ...you are young and full of energy ... You are no saint either, you should not have yelled at your dad either. Probably you were upset, that's understandable. Be alert and don't let the "abuse" go on. Tell your mom or your grandparents or any responsible adult if he does that again.

Answer 6

I think your dad really meant well and was trying to do what's best for you- teaching you not to be lazy.
Apparently though he was mistaken about you being lazy but that doesn't mean you have the right to start yelling at him. You deserved a punishment for that. At least he didn't ground you!
Be happy about that and if you wanna talk to your dad you need to sit down sometime besides right before you're leaving and explain to him that you have no real passion for tennis and would like to play soccer. Try it. He just wants what's best for you.

Answer 7

Well, I think that you should have gone to tennis practice. After that practice, you sould talk to your dad about how you think tennis isn't for you. If he is your dad, he should be able to understand that you go tbored of tennis and that you want to do something new and different. Running around your block is an uneccessary punishment especially when it's cold outside. I think you two should have a talk.

Answer 8

Yes that was unfair. You could of hurt your self or gotten poorly. If you don't like tennis you don't like it nothing can change your opinion about it. Tell him that you don't like it and want to trey a different sport. If he shouts at you again just keep calm and talk calmly don't raise you voice. This tends to annoy people because there getting all hot and bothered and your really calm. You need to stop doing it if you don't like it because if your dad is the coach and your not trying your best it will make his career go down the line and then he could go out of business. You need to have a calm talk with your dad and refuse to do any punishment.

Answer 9

It is well known that many parents live vicariously through they children, but from what youve said, hes looking out for your best interests. Maybe you can find a different sport or activity that you can enjoy instead of tennis and pick that up instead to keep yourself active. More often than not a parent is looking out for you, even though you font feel it. But yelling at him isnt going to solve anything. Try to think things out, apolgize for yelling, tell him how you feel about playing tennis and suggest something else you can do instead.

Answer 10

I think that you are right. My dad was a football coach and I was always running to keep in shape for football. Tennis is really in season for the spring and summer and a little of the fall but this kind of weather is not tennis weather. I say that you are right but it is really best to do as he says, especially if you are on his tennis team.

Answer 11

Your dad is right and will always be. He is older and wiser then you. The reason he is angry is you are not keeping your commitments. That is a part of growing up and being responsible. You had practice and refused to go. That is wrong, no matter why you didn't go (Only if your dead, dying or bleeding). You keep your commitments and this is what he was trying to convey through the running in the cold. This is a life lesson. learn to gut it out.