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I have been married for four years. From the beginning my husband has not been interested in sex but we had some sex, most of the time I used to give him a handjob. Usually he was showing interest in sex when I had my periods, so I had to give him a handjob. Now things have gone worse, he is not interested at all, i always try to go near him and touch etc but he always tries to avoid and start hugging me and changing the topic. His size is smaller but I never really cared as I love him a lot. I know he is not cheating on me and he loves me a lot. I think this is more of a health problem, I tried to talk to him and he just says that he is not sexually obssessed. He will never accept that he has some problem as it will hurt him as a man, what should I do, I love him and I dont care if I dont have sex but will my relationship work this way or is my marriage going to collapse as everyone has been telling me that sex is the basis of good relationship

2007-12-02 05:40:21 · 9 answers · asked by Eva 1 in Health Men's Health

9 answers

Please get him to a doctor for a thorough checkup, and make sure the doctor knows about the lack of libido ahead of time, as your husband might be too embarrassed to mention it. Send the doctor a note if there is no other way. Lack of interest in sex can be an early sign of diabetes, high blood pressure, and other serious conditions.

If his doctor says there is nothing physically wrong after a really complete examination and lab work, then you could consider some kind of counseling. But although some men are just not interested in sex, that's not common. Dabetes and high blood pressure ARE common unfortunately, and these conditions can kill him, not just his sex drive, so he REALLY MUST see a doctor ASAP.

If there are no health issues, then only you can say how important sex is to you. What "everyone" says is not important -- are YOU comfortable in a sexless marriage? Nobody else gets a vote.

2007-12-02 07:15:05 · answer #1 · answered by Maple 7 · 1 0

Sex is usually the barometer of a relationship. When all is well, it's good, but when something is awry, it's not so good. This is going to sound awful, but you could guilt him into going to the doctor. Tell him he makes you feel unattractive and horrible because he isn't interested in you. You feel like he doesn't love you because he isn't attracted to you, stuff like that. All this aside though, contrary to media/pop culture, not all men are sex fiends. Some really do have a lower sex drive. However, never wanting to have it, even at the beginning of a marriage is a little odd. It's normal if he's under stress, or you guys just had a baby or something, but if he's always been like this you need to talk to him: see the above ways.

2007-12-02 05:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by Jody 6 · 1 0

Sex is not the basis of a good relationship! Look at how many people have casual sex and go from partner to partner. Sex can be a barometer of a good relationship - when openness and trust are not violated, sex can be amazing (hot!); when there are issues, it can be very cold.

It sounds like your husband needs professional help. Since he is not willing to admit he has a problem, this can be difficult.

Just out of curiosity, what is his relationship like with his mother?

2007-12-02 07:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

This is how he has regularly been with you, however you made the option to stick with him. It's no longer precise whilst he says "such a lot persons are like this." That's simply his manner of deflecting the quandary. Although a few persons would possibly recommend he is dishonest and even homosexual, there may be additionally a likelihood that he relatively has a low intercourse force. Many guys like to have intercourse, however there are a few nuts and berries that with ease do not. Does he watch porn? Does he masturbate? You ought to recognise if his sexual power is being directed in different places or if he with ease does not have any. Does he take any varieties of medicinal drugs corresponding to anti-depressants? There are many matters that may give a contribution to a low intercourse force, even pressure. Find out the "why" aspect of it first. He can no less than attempt to please you different methods as good, you men ought to speak approximately what your demands are and arise with what he is inclined to do to give a contribution.

2016-09-05 18:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

well sex is NOT the basis of good relationship because me and my husband has been married for 3 years and only had sex once and we are just fine.so dont worry about what other ppl say and just live with it

2007-12-02 05:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by Kelsey 3 · 1 1

go to www.myspace.com/talk2spirit and ask her. she is a professional sex therapist and has a great radio show on XM 169 and her myspace also tells how to get her show on your computer so check her out.

2007-12-03 11:55:07 · answer #6 · answered by richmorecockagainandagain 3 · 0 0

sex is not everything in a marriage, maybe he has something wrong with him but he's afraid to tell you or he ashamed of his size and he think you won't like it.

2007-12-02 06:04:15 · answer #7 · answered by samontedaqueen 1 · 1 0

maybe he has HIV and cares enough that doesnt want you to get it. if he doesnt take him to a psychiatrist.

2007-12-02 06:10:30 · answer #8 · answered by Diego D 1 · 1 0

Maybe he prefers to masturbate.

2007-12-02 11:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by Solo 6 · 1 0

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