Is this Ok?

Question

my boyfrn is a psychiatrist,
i have no problems as such but u see anyone can do
with some counselling.
he has been working on me frm the begning witht my
knowledge and now with my cooperation.
he controls my life and simulates many negative situations in
my life.
it is scary but it works
i found i had so many fears and problems within me
now i feel better and stronger my life has improved
but i am so scared of this process as it is not natural
or conventional
not many people have this sort of weird experiences
and too much info to cope with suddenly.
the info is abt him and me too.
main problm is i have to improve my mind further
bfore we settle in life properly.
he has activated my subconcious too.
but i do trust him as he has shown 100% good results
and he is right we have to deal with all this
or it is no use as i wld not feel good inside no
matter how successful outside.
he is also my spiritual guru
and i am bound to be sick
and feel low witht knowing the reason if my subconcious is weak
do u think this process will ever end
i want to settle down
pl! encourage me, the wait is fearful and future uncertain
wld u accept something like this?
i have always been normal generally speaking.

Answer 1

I feel excited hearing your experience about your Hubby's action exercise upon you.I have read about other type of married experience.I am with your excitement a best of luck to your graceful married life.

Answer 2

A healthy relationship is one in which both people feel equal and respectful of the other, and are supportive of the other person's aims. It doesn't sound like that is the nature of this relationship.

A good mental health professional works in collaboration with the patient to achieve their goals, and doesn't impose their own beliefs on the person they are treating. So, if he was your psychiatrist (and not your partner) I'd be concerned about his methods, because he has imposed the goals and you are not comfortable with the process. Also, you didn't start off thinking "I have a problem, I need help" and go looking for him. He found you and gradually got you to believe "you have a problem and need help" which is totally different, and very disempowering for you.

A good psychiatrist is also someone who knows the remit and ethics of their role, and certainly wouldn't blur the line between a patient or person seeing them in their professional role with the people they know in their private life. There are codes of conduct that give psychiatrists and psychologists and such professionals obligations in not having relationships with their patients and behaving in an ethical and professional way. I am concerned to hear that he is treating you more like a patient than a partner and bluring all the lines between roles.

All of these things suggest to me that this isn't a healthy "normal" relationship. But why not ask your friends or family what they think of the way he treats you, or talk to his professional body about whether they would consider this to be within normal limits. Because it doesn't sound like something I'd feel comfortable about at all.

Answer 3

He seems to be a very nice man who wants to control, all parts of your life, with your concent, right?

Here is the peoblem darling, What are you? A doormat, a zoombi, or a robat? He can program you to be whatever he wants? Did he not fall in love with the person you were? Or was he looking for an object, he could mould to his wish, no matter how good it has done. As far as I am concered, if you have to be here to ask, yes its not right.

We are all indivisuals in our right as good created us. Either we should find people who love us for ourself, and not try to change us, or should think, do you want to be controled by him all you life. If you have been NORMANLgenerally speaking, and know there are problems with everyone, then why the hell are you letting him treat you like that. Oh he may say he loves you and is doing for you own good, but wake up HELLOOO, he is loving to creat you in the shape that he wants, not what you NORMALY are comfortagbble with.

My Husband and I are the two half of the same coin. I can be lazy, untidy, just wearing jeans and t-shirts around the house type, In returen, he can be proffecsionist, and point out all my fault. After 20 years, I havn't changed, just accomodate my husband in most important things, as for him, he has stop ped wearing a watch, which would rule every min. of his life. He wears what I choose (I do the same).; He hates going to see a film, and tells me its a total waste time. there are better things in life to do. I tell ok, you go do those better things and I will watch the film.

What I mean dear is, you both need to love each other as you are, and if you can't, I suggestest a separtion for a while to see how both feel .

This is ofcouse only my opinin, and you should go with what your head and heart tell you.

Answer 4

Run - far and fast.

This man is NOT trustworthy. Not only is he quite clearly violating the ethical standards of the profession by pursuing a romantic relationship with someone he's made into his patient, he is doing it in such a way that makes you feel fearful (rightfully), controlled and manipulated.

You're entangled with an ego-maniacal power freak. This is going NO PLACE GOOD. I assure you.

Get away from him.

Now.

Hang in there,
~M~

Answer 5

you say he is your boy friend then you also mention he is your guru and you say he is working on you well there is a missing link some where so either you marry him soon and give him all the support he needs as his better half or you be professional and take his help better still meet someone more Mature and in any way lady dont loose your self or underestimate your strengths we are all strong within no matter what...

Answer 6

i think that you being always told what to do is making you uncomfortable.
Yeah, every one do feel this way, if they are always told. Your friend might be always right, but, we are not living in a perfect world. Neither perfection is path to happiness. Some stupid and silly things we do make us happy more than being right all the time.
So, i think you should also speak out, wether you are right or wrong.

Answer 7

What you are basically saying is he controls you. He isn't being just a psychiatrist anymore he's more like a dominatrix.

Answer 8

Don't let him control your life. Take a break from him.