Is it inappropriate to talk about your son's "manhood" with other people?

Question

I am a mother of a 7 month old boy. My friend has a boy that is 13 months old. We are closer than ever before since we now both have boys around the same age. We do a lot of things together and we bring our boys with us everywhere we go. My friend is a pretty mellow woman and I have always known her to be that way. However, I've noticed her talking a lot about her son's "manhood" lately and it's starting to bother me. She tells pretty much anyone who asks about her son that he is very well endowed. She's not modest about it at all. She always says things like "when my son was born the nurses said that we won't have any problems with the ladies" and "I was shocked when I first saw it, I thought it was the umbilical cord." I'm pretty liberal but I think she needs to give this a rest. If you talk about how chubby his butt is or how big his head is then that's another story. My son was not blessed the way her son was and I don't want my son growing up listening to her inappropriate comment

Answer 1

He probably really does have a huge one. Her saying this to you, her close friend, is not innappropriate.
My little brother, I have 4 little brothers, was the same. It was like unbelievable. I noticed when I was changing his diapers. Some kids are born that way, but it doesn't mean his will stay huge.
Penis length is usually determined during puberty as he grows. You never know, your son may be better off than hers at the end.
My son, like yours, is average. I don't compare his penis to the boys at school (I am a preschool teacher in a two year old classroom. I change 13 boys' diapers per day.)
I find it kind of disgusting and trashy to brag about things like that. My mom used to say things like that about my brother, but only to the family. It was true, and it was something to laugh about since my dad would claim he wasn't his because of this(lol). It was kindof like a family joke. I would be somewhat embarrassed if she said things like that in public with me around. It is somewhat innappropriate, and not just because of what she's talking about.
I am sure there are many other reasons for her to brag on her son. Next time she brings it up, try to change the subject. Say things, "Tell them about the new word he learned" or "Tell her what he did to my cat the other day". Things like that are more appropriate.
What she says is her business, and since she's your friend, and it's not the big of deal, I recommend just changing the subject. Don't entertain her.
If you feel it is very innappropriate tell a white lie. Say something like, "That woman in Wal-mart heard you talking about your sons genitals and you heard her say it was innappropriate."That way she knows that others think it is innappropriate with out hurting her feelings by telling her you think it's innappropriate.
You just don't think of your children in that way. To her it is his own special quirk, she needs to be more aware of his other special quirks. Find something special about him that doesn't involve his genitals and bring it up a lot. Then she will be more apt to talk about it with others.
Good luck, I hope this helped!

Answer 2

I think it's appropriate to say to you, a close friend, but not to the whole world. I believe you friend feels a lot of pride for her son and she doesn't really understand how to appropriately convey that to people. I hope for her son's sake she realizes what she is doing and the way she will be perceived if she continues to do so. Don't allow her inappropriate ways to make you feel bad. You know how awesome your son is, so express your pride in appropriate ways so she can see that you have a bit more class about how you describe your son to the world. Best to you.

Answer 3

I think it is innapropriate. I can't stand it when people talk about their kids "parts" like that in front of me.. First off, I don't want to know, I have no interest in that.. Secondly, the boy isn't finished developing, just because he looks endowed now, doesn't mean that he will be endowed later as he grows up..
If you are bothered by her talking about it, you should really tell her that your uncomfortable hearing about her talking about her childrens body parts.. end of story... she will probably stop.

Answer 4

Or you can be up front with her and tell her that the topic is getting tiresome for you, or that you're not interested in hearing about her son's genitalia, or that her bragging annoys you, or that size is not very important any more than height is. If she won't shut up, you could confront her with, "You seem to be morbidly fascinated with your baby's equipment. I find that rather strange. Is there more to the story than just your casual observations?" She will most likely deny this vehemently, and you can ask, "Then why do you keep telling me/us about it?" That should kill the topic.

Answer 5

OK so I know the boy is only 13 months old - but that is still invading his personal space - I don't know how else to put it.

I have 2 boys - I would never speak of anything regarding that to anyone. It isn't mine to talk about it is theirs.

So - is she going to continue this and then make him feel self conscious when he is older? Just a bit disrespectful in my opinion.

Answer 6

In my personal opinion I think she's behaving inappropriately.
Unfortunately I don't have any good suggestions on how to approach her regarding this type of talk.
I also understand how if this is something she continues with you don't want your son growing up hearing this all the time either. Maybe try quickly changing the subject from this point on when she brings it up???
Good Luck with this situation.

Answer 7

I would share the same thoughts as you but as long as she doesn't bring your son into the mix, she has the right to freely discuss this. When they are older, if she continues to bring it up, I would confront her so that you are sure they don't hear talk about this inappropriate subject.

Good question! I hope the situation resolves itself. I know it would bother me, as well.

Answer 8

Well, since you are a friend, who more appropriate to tell her that her comments are not appropriate? Open your mouth woman! Some people have no sense of appropriate (my SIL being one of them).

Answer 9

Well, she certainly has her priorities mixed up. How about you find friends that share your values? Your son will be affected by who you hang around with, how much, who knows?

Answer 10

uummm...slightly! Tell her you are very uncomfy with that kind of talk, and maybe it will make her think...My friend and I talk about whether or not our kids are circed, etc...but not size..that's very adolescent in my opinion..