I have been married to Tom for 4 yrs. Tom has a 8 yr old son from his last marrage that he loves to death and so do I. I have been in his sons life since he was 2 ys old. For every b-day/x-mas Tom and I always go in on gifts for his son and sign the gifts from both of us. Well this yr for x-mas Tom wants to get him a guitar as he use to play in a band and its always been "his" dream for his son to follow in his foot steps. This is a very special gift as this is all Tom talks about and he has put a lot of time in making sure everything is perfect. Well the other day Tom told me he wants me to get his son something else as he just wants the guitar to be from him not both of us. I'm hurt about this as we allways put the gifts from both of us and if this is so speical why is he excluding me from this his wife. Please tell me an I over reacting?
2007-12-02 02:26:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are over-reacting, let this one go
buy him your own little gift
2007-12-02 02:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by T Leeves 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, as you said yourself this is your husband's dream. It is not unusual that he would want to give his son something from just him. This is a special gift. It is not like he is being unreasonable, he said you two can get him another gift. That gift is a special one from his heart and he may not want to share with that one, perfectly understandable, the part I am not getting is why this is bothering you. The fact that he is getting his son special from his heart should be overjoying you not sparking jealousy because your name is not on there. He offered to get something else that both of you could share. I can certainly understand that, why can't you?
2007-12-02 10:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are feeling hurt about this but your husband's wish is very understandable. Can I suggest that you invite your husband to go in with you on a gift that IS from both of you. Result; Happy Kid with two presents. Am certain that your husband didn't mean to hurt you! Good luck and Happy Holidays.Old and Crafty
2007-12-02 10:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by Gina C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are overreacting. i don't know why you are so hurt by this. he has a very special gift that is uniquely from him. it is part of his history, not your history together. if on the other hand, he had bought a new elmo or something and didn't want to put your name on it, that would be odd. but, what you're saying essentially equates to this...
- your mother wants to give you the wedding ring that has been in your family for years. since it is something dear to her and means so much to her she wants it to be just from her. but, her new husband (your stepdad) is all huffy because he wants his name on the gift too.
wouldn't it be more mature for you to get a gift that compliments your husband's guitar? why not get an embroidered guitar strap for your stepson? or get some bright colored guitar picks?
2007-12-02 10:37:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are overreacting.....Your husband has a right to give his son a gift that is just from him...Why don't you go buy a gift for your step son.....that is only from you? Its almost Christmas....no sense in getting all upset over this.....
2007-12-02 10:31:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, you know, I don't think it is that bad - sounds like this is a special father-son bonding sort of gift. I think if he did this as a regular thing I would not like it, but I do understand this. Why not try to think of something special just from you, you sound like such a lovely stepmother for him, it would be a nice bonding thing for you too.
2007-12-02 10:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is his son, it's ok for him to give a special gift to his son, do not be hurt by this.
2007-12-02 10:58:13 · answer #7 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you are, this is something between father and son. you cannot beat that. you have to have a child to understand. it is like wanting a picture with just son and not you. do not personalize this,. get another gift..and get over it,.. sorry...
2007-12-02 10:41:23 · answer #8 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a father son thing. he wants to so something special for his son. like when a father buys their son a bb gun or his first rifle. if you want to buy hism something. but like a amp or sound processor for the guitar. I assum its going to be an electric one. but you are over reacting.
2007-12-02 13:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jecht 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after hearing his reason for his "private & personal" gift, you are overreacting
it's something very special he wants to do, my husband used to buy our son things just from him
it is between a man and his son, leave it be
buy him something from yourself re: guitar lessons
2007-12-02 10:32:21 · answer #10 · answered by ann s 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
who cares, just let him get his son a gift if he wants to. if you want to get him a gift just from you, i'm sure that would be fine.
2007-12-02 10:30:55 · answer #11 · answered by jay1986 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋