Should I get upset because my boyfriend sleeps most of the day every Sunday?

Question

Ok, I'll try to keep this simple.....!
I work for myself, from about 8am - 9pm
My boyfriend works for himself too, from about 6am - 12 noon.

Sunday is the only time we can spend time together but he seems to prefer to either watch football at the pub, football on TV, football scores on teletext or go to bed (to sleep...alone!).

Am I wrong to get upset because he never wants to do anything with me and I just end up doing housework or working overtime.

Been crying my eyes out this afternoon, would love to hear your opinions please xxx

Answer 1

Oh dear - poor you, don't cry.
Seems a bit selfish to me. The trouble is, it's not whether you should be upset - you are upset and he should aknowledge that and try and modify his behaviour.
I think it's fair enough that he want to watch TV etc on his only day off and unfortunately with men, if you go on about it it will only get worse.
You need to talk to him one evening after work - or maybe take a lunch out together and let him know you're not trying to take over, or stop him doing what he wants but you feel neglected (and you are being). If he loves you, he'll understand. He could agree to say spend every other Sunday with you, or cut down the time each Sunday. Try not to rage at him, or cry - difficult I know, but you need to let him know how you feel. Try not to say "You always...or You make me..." anything. Just say something like " It really upsets me that we don't spend any time together, it seems as if the TV is more important than our relationship - I would like to spend some more time together - What do you think we should do about this?" If he values you he'll listen.

Answer 2

I think ther is lack of communication on your part because you have not stated whether you have talked this over with your boyfriend. For all you know he might not know he is doing anything that is hurting you. Its good to cry and let out some anger but better still why not sit him down and tell him what you feel.
Try telling him its not that you are stopping him from doing what he enjoys doing but you will appreciate some quality time together.
And anyway you try and put some spice into the relationship ................know what I mean. Love up more and ............
And sincerely do a check on yourself to see if you are still the same person he met when you first met, do you still attract him, etc. I guess it was not like this in the beginning so do a check. Its not good enough to find out that you are the cause but if you are then please make amends.
And another thing is that take interest in the things he likes doing, football, the scores etc and so later you can say 'can we do something else for a change?
And when he is sleeping why not sleep beside him. Dont allow him to sleep alone - he might be expecting you to join him - actions speak louder than words.
All the best dearie.

Answer 3

It seems a bit selfish. What things do you enjoy doing together. If you don't have anything you need to try to develop some, even if that means one day a week you don't work 13 hours (you can always make it up on Sunday while he watches football). Try getting him to do something around the game....like a halftime romp. Or maybe a pregame ritual involveing something other than football where you always make sure he is back for kick-off. Does he do fantasy football --- maybe you could try to particpate in that with him? Try organizing some things and then let him say no -- that is harder to do than just sitting down and not getting up.

One other thought, lots of time when I hear about guys that are sleeping more than what seems normal and avoiding life they have depression issues....is this a possibility?

Good luck.

Answer 4

My boyfriend is the same he works quite long hours and we dont see eachother much when he isn't working 9/10 he will come home and fall asleep infront of the TV. I wouldnt take it personally or get upset over it. Talk to him about it. Tell him how much it is upsetting you. He is a guy he probably doesn't even realise!! It could be worse he could be a bum and not want to work. You could also maybe go out the next time he does it arrange to meet friends. I wouldn't mope about the house waiting for him to wake up. If he wants to waste his life sleeping it doesn't mean you can't have a life. Good luck x

Answer 5

Hi,

Aww hun I wouldn't get too upset about it, chances are he hasn't really though much about how you feeling about it all.

It is best to sit down with him and explain how this is making you feel - maybe you can plan in advance something you would like to do such as getting out a DVD or going to the pictures ect.

My boyfriend works 8-5 every day and I work 8.45-3.30 at a special school. On weekends my boyfriend has a long lie in and I don't mind this too much as we live together and he deserves it after working so hard all week.

It much better to let him sleep and wake up in a good mood and wanting to spend time with me, then wake him up, demand he gives me attention, and having to put up with his foul mood all day.

He will probably wake up soon and when he does he gets a coffee from me and we sit and snuggle on sofa before he goes into kitchen to start making the roast dinner. He does this as whilst he sleeping I do the ironing and cleaning up.

All couples are different though!

Lx

Answer 6

Yes i would be feeling down myself as this has affected me when my partner would simply fall asleep any time any where. We eventually found out he was on to much medication and his weight had a fair bit to do with it. The key thing here is to try and comprimise. Try asking for you both to go out every second sunday to somewhere of youf choice and let him decide what to do on the other sunday. You could also try having a sleepy sunday, taking a tv and dvd to the bedroom and lie together to get more intamacy back, he could also check the scores aswell. If all else fails start making yourself totally unavailable to he point where he is asking to spend time with you

Answer 7

that's time for the 4 of you to have a meeting. In a comfortable way you're able to clarify that her boyfriend isn't area of the condo settlement and his presence is disrupting something of the gang. the two they are able to finding commerce places for a number of their 'training' or they could start up finding for a place of their own the place he won't be an intrusion. you have 3 to a million odds against her so end letting her rule over the place and once you are able to learn and sleep.

Answer 8

I wouldn't spend the day crying my eyes out over it, but I would be p*ssed to be sure. Just go and do your own things during that time (or get into football, you might love it), either he'll wise up and want to spend more time with you, or maybe you'll see that you have different ideals and decide to move on. Good luck!

Answer 9

Luckily you are not married to him so you can dump him. You don't have a relationship if the only free time you have he wants to spend it asleep or watching footie.

I had a husband like this, and had to get divorced inthe end.

Dont waste your youth or your life. There are men out there who would love to do things with you and make a real home. Go find one!

Good luck!

Answer 10

Why not get into the football game and have a happy Sunday with him. Or just sleep yourself. Thats the best way to be together !