Too tired for sex?

Question

after some point, how do you feel about yourself when you become "too tired for sex?"

im finally living with my BF, and i'm scared of this being an issue. i come home around 11:00pm from work. I'm a waitress, getting my @ss called from one end to the other with a bunch of plates in each hand is all part of the job right? my fiance's job is a even harsher, but he's a guy i guess and more used to it. when i get home and lie down in bed i just want to fall asleep and never wake up, then he comes in maybe 30 mins later, cuddles with me in bed (personally, it feels so nice that that only makes me want to sleep more) then eventually gets me going for sex. i always feel guilty telling him that its the last thing i want because im too tired, but he's a gentle man and respects that.

big problem really is, I've been told that its really not fair for me to be doing this all the time and he's just trying to be polite. this is going to be a problem one day if i can't fix it.

Answer 1

No matter what! You can never be too tired for sex. Get to bumping and grinding sister.

Answer 2

First of all, you and your bf living together I feel is wrong, your playing married or playing house without the commitment to each other that's in a marriage.

Also you shouldn't be having sex before marriage. You should be working on your relationship with each other.

But about being too tired for sex, if your both working really hard and worried about finding time. First of all, get married, and then when the problems come up, let your work know, that you need like at least a day a week off, and use that time to spend together and also to get rest. Nothing will kill a sex drive more than stress. And being to tired will cause stress.

I know from personal experience.

Answer 3

Oh come on... you should be honest and let him know. Whats the main reason for you to live together in the first place. Contrary to what you may have previously been told, i don't think by telling him that you are too tired for sex mean he is not important in your life. Unless you guys lived together because of sex then, well ..................

If you have more energy think of what you can do for ...or rather to him instead of just lying there and pray it to be over so you can sleep. Is that fair for both of you ??You said he's a gentle man and would understand so you should have an honest and open relationship if you want to continue to live with him.

If not, carry on having fake orgasm!!

Answer 4

Indeed thsi will lead to problems. Someone already said ti here, but it is worth restating. Telling him your too tired for sex means that you are choosing other things over sex with him. If will eventually lead him away from you. If you see a pattern then he definitely will...

Why don't you two plan a date. So you are both well rested and can spend the evening or day together without this being an issue.

Answer 5

A lot of guys feel rejected when you don't have sex with them. A lot of women feel rejected and don't want to have sex because their man isn't putting forth the time and effort to make them feel special and loved. It's a bad cycle. Make sure you both are romantic with each other. If you feel that he just wants to have sex but doesn't put for the effort of loving you in other ways then tell him that. In theory this is why it's best to wait for marriage. Because then you're committed and should be willing to work through these things for a solution. Unfortunately, married or not, a lot of people forget the commitment and just look outside the relationship.

Answer 6

If both of you have harsh jobs,then a little sex before sleeping is a great way to really unwind.It relieves the built up stress from a long hard day at work,and helps you sleep sounder.
Think of it this way,you two are sharing a way to help each other get rid of the built-up stress while showing your love..I see nothing wrong with it.

Answer 7

This is a problem in my marriage to, but I learned that you have to give in sometimes even when you don't feel like it. My husband does shift work at the mill and work all crazy hours, all he really have to do is go to work and come home, I work in a clinic from 7:30 to 4. We have 4 children ages 8-15. I cook dinner, wash clothes, me and the older kids take turns on dishes and other in and odd chores like that, I attend girl scout meetings, mini sub deb meetings, and stuff like that. I do the drop offs for the games, my son plays sports and pick ups. At the end of the day I am so exhausted. I feel I am the first one up in the mornings and the last one to go to bed at night. My husband gets off take a bath, eat and go to bed, in bed by 8:00 or 9p.m. When I get in at 10 or 11p.m. he has been sleep a good 2 or 3 hours, he wakes up with his paws all over me and I am mad, then he gets mad roll over and grumbles through out the night. This went on for a couple of months, I decided that it is unfair to have his needs unmet, he is a virile person, and thinks alot out of our bonding, so I made a deal, when I first come to bed we get it on or nothing, so that means if he is sleep then wakes up later for some fun then he is out of luck until the next night, although early in the morning before we wake up to go to work has proven effective, what I am trying to say find your common ground, you really don't want anything to be lacking in your relationship.

Answer 8

Yep it will be a big problem.

By telling him that you are too tired for sex, you saying that other things in your life are more important than he is.

If both of your jobs are robbing you of the ability to be intimate with each other, you may think about changing jobs. There are many out there where you don't have to work your fingers to the bone.

Answer 9

Big problem I face the same problem all the time with my wife. Eventually your BF will find a GF that isn't too tired to take care of his needs.

Answer 10

I'm guessing that the sex isn't going to last more than 30 minutes so you'd better get with it before he finds someone that will satisfy him more than you are. That's just ridicules and he's way nicer that most men would ever be.

Answer 11

If you're that tired then its not fair for your bf to be pressuring you for sex. That said, this might become an issue if you're always too busy or tired for sex. You have to make quality time for that intimacy.