breast cancer...no woman just wants to be used, Fla, it's important to feel a tender love....trust me...it's not a control issue....not hearing "I love you" during sex for over 12 years leaves you feeling pretty crappy....and now with my "woman parts" scarred up, I was just looking for the male point of view on why some men only want it this way......and to answer a few others, yes it has been this way for a while....even before the cancer, but I learned to live with it for the sake of my children.....I can't live my life this way...feeling used.....
2007-12-02 01:19:03 · 8 answers · asked by justlilme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if he doesn't love you, then why stay with him, and why even consider having sex . move on dear, theres plenty of men out there that are looking for a kind sincere woman like you.
2007-12-02 01:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't need to feel that way. If you say that this has been going on for such a long time then why not be completely on your own. You say he hasn't done anything with you for years then why is he still hanging around. I was in a SLIGHTLY similar situation. I have lived with a guy for almost 6 years, had a child with him, but for the last 3 years we were together, we just couldn't be together without constantly arguing. So I made the ultimate decision and took the kids, one from marriage, and moved far away, NY to MO. Again I can't say that I know what you are going through personally but it is along the same lines. If your kids love you and support you then there is no need for anyone else to be around and constantly putting or letting you down. If you've done on "your own" for so long then why not BE on your own with your kids? Least this way you know you will never be used or abused by your kids.
2007-12-02 01:31:52 · answer #2 · answered by cmax9970 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are plenty of men who would love you for who you are don't stay with a man just for the children because the children are to smart these days and they would feel the hurt your feeling and end up in bad relationships for the wrong reasons move on and find someone who loves you you should be happy and everybody needs love i don't care what vows you took he stopped living by them a long time ago love honor and cherish means no matter what you should be happy and he will never make you happy if he doesn't love you
2007-12-02 01:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb! Honey, I am so sorry you had to endure this and to feel like you are going about this by yourself with your husband not showing interest in you, when you need him the most.
What I would do is get in a support group, make yourself stronger, get counseling, and start making plans to leave him, honey, you have been through a lot, and it would hurt me deeply if that was happining to me, you know for better or for worse, well he is not doing that.
I would suggest, you make a resolution, get in a support group, talk to people and make plans to get out of your marriage, your kids know you are unhappy, they can sense this, they need to be happy also, you need to be happy and to find a man who will love you for all that you are!!!!
2007-12-02 01:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother had one of her breast removed for cancer , and so did my grandmother. It seems to run in my family. Not having one of your breasts is not a good reason to stop having sex. Talk to your man and if it can not be fixed, find someone who will love you for you. They are out there and you deserve love and affection. I hope you find happiness and have good luck with your cancer problems. life is too short for severe stress and depression. Good wishes for you.
2007-12-02 01:31:40 · answer #5 · answered by Ginnykitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say it was this way before the cancer. i don't know.... maybe his sex drive isn't very high & it may be hard for him to show love & tenderness when he can't express it physically. i would suggest counseling for communication issues.
i suspect it just a sex drive issue & inability/embarrassment/male stupidity at associating tender loving words with sex.
2007-12-02 23:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by livjoifulli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YEAH IT HURTS,,TO BE FORGOTTEN, BUT SHE MUST BE GOING THUR HECK. AND IF YOU LOVE THE WAY YOU DO,,,SIT DOWN AN TALK GET TO KNOW WHAT'S IN HER HEAD AND SOUL, PUT YOURSELF IN HER PLACE AND GET TO KNOW HER ALL OVER,,,
THEN IF YOU STILL DONT GET IT...YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO...
2007-12-02 01:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by shayhi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am a guy and i would kick him to the curb, theres more to it than that.
2007-12-02 01:49:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋