now the lady i've been talking to about all of it, as a friend, is starting to seem more then a friend. she has been really good about talking anytime i need to like she is there for me something i've been missing in my marriage for a few years now. i don't want to be like my wife. does this lady just seem great becouse she is just offering something i don't have right now or could it be deeper? how can i tell and would it be wrong keep talking even though there are starting to be stong fellings.
2007-12-02 01:17:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this was the 2nd time she has cheated
2007-12-02 01:52:52 · update #1
this other lady seems to have a motive here, she sees that your marriage has hit a rough patch and she may think she can get u to leave your marriage, if she meets every need u have. but if u still love your wife and are trying to reconcile, cut all ties with this woman for now until u know for sure what is going to happen with your marriage. if u no longer love your wife, than seek divorce first before u begin a new relationship with this woman.
2007-12-02 10:27:39 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not uncommon for affairs to start out just like this. I'm sorry but no matter how nice women are, they can also be manipulative and she KNOWS you're at your weakest, lowest point right now. Honey, your feelings for this woman aren't TRUE. You are simply finding comfort and the closeness you feel when you share secret information is feeling like something more. Don't complicate things further in your marriage by introducing this third problem or aspect. If you can't be friends with this woman without having these feelings, then you need to temporarily suspend the friendship. It's really quite inappropriate for you to be sharing your innermost thoughts, fears, and feelings with anyone OTHER than your wife.....that's what she's there for! Your marriage will never improve so long as you each keep looking OUTSIDE the marriage to fix problems in it. Your wife sought outside companionship and you're doing the same thing....even if it's a bit more innocent. The 2 of you need to sit down and talk about what really needs to be fixed then agree on marriage counseling.
2007-12-02 01:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The attention of the other woman seems appealing because as you stated, you have been missing this in your marriage. Two suggestions. You can either continue to work on your marriage (only if your wife is also putting forth an effort to mend it) or Get a divorce give yourself some time and see how things work out with the other lady. Everyone deserves to be happy. Seek your happiness.
2007-12-02 01:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by philly_q_t_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are getting a lot of answers from girls who are telling you some of the truth. (No offense girls) I think the truth is that we as humans tend to offer help and all so want what we can not have until we get it. She is going to mess up your relationship stop now while you still can. Don't talk to her talk to your wife take her out build your relationship everyone makes mistakes. forgive and forget this time and move on. The big thing is to FORGET don't ever bring it up again. I am sure you can understand if you want some thing you have to work at it but don't go to far. If she don't want to be with you then let her go if she dose love you and wants to be with you then giver her what she deserves a good man.
2007-12-02 01:50:31 · answer #4 · answered by KEVIN S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you still love your wife even though she cheated on you stop what your doing for awhile and see if you and your wife can work things out this other woman is going to end up hurt if you keep things going when you don't know how you feel about your wife. tell her you need time to work things out for yourself and tell her you will call if you figure it out don't put it off figure out what you want and don't keep her hanging. tell her you will talk about it later after you figure what you really want she may understand but she may not or maybe she just wants to be friends and you are the only one that feels this way your confussed and you need to get your head straight
2007-12-02 01:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by inloveinTN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want your marriage get rid of the friend as soon as possible and work on forgiving your wife and getting your relationship stronger.If you have second thoughts about your marriage make up your mind and see what you really want to be able to free yourself and your wife.
2007-12-02 05:29:57 · answer #6 · answered by brownsugarbr02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this woman is giving you what your wife lacks. that is listening to you, being there for you. of course things will blossom if you allow it to. your wife , well she dont have respect for you or your marriage. after all, she has cheated twice. how many more times does she have to do this in order for you to see this wont change. but be careful and dont let this other lady take advantage of you because youare needing attention. if you continue this with her, are you ready to tell you wife that you have feelings for this other woman? you must look at all scenarios of your situation. i say if you are truly unhappy with your wife then you must do what is right for you.
2007-12-02 02:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by jstagirl1969 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just becasue a girl is there to listen to your problems. dont mean she is doing it to get with the guy. I know my cousin has in the past mistreated his gf and she confited in me what was going on and I listened to her and told her if she ever needed someone to talk to about anything. to just call me and i will listen to her. I have no desire to be with her as I am one married and 2 she is my cousins gf. some of you people need to look up what friendship really means before saying what yall are saying.
now to the guy you need to be careful as you found someone thats giving yuou something you had missing in your marrage and dont ruin it. and after all she might be listening to you just becasue you need a friend to talk to. your the one reading more in to it and dont ruin a friendship becasue you think this girl wants more then she probrobly does.
2007-12-02 06:12:41 · answer #8 · answered by Jecht 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask ur self whether u do love ur wife.then ask her if she do love u. if the answers 'yes' to both then get together & talk & work things out. of course it may takes alot of times & effort fr both.. still if the answer is 'no' then there'r no harm continue befriend & talking to her. but 1 thing for sure- pls don rush things..
2007-12-02 01:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by naylibb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your wanting to mess with fire continue talking with her. shes not just trying to be helpfull,she wants more and i think you know this.when you say there are starting to be feeling,youve got your own answer. if you no longer trust your wife or even talk to her then what do you base your marriage on ? find out if theres any hope for your marriage. if not its better to end it first. youll feel better about yourself.
2007-12-02 01:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋