Should i be mad?

Question

My husband has been gone four months in military. after being together 3 yrs he forgot me and his daughters when he was there! i think 3 calls in 4 months. He wouldn't answer his phone ect. Well i wasn't invited to basic trainig graduation among other things So i tryed to have him deported. We went back and forth doing mean things. Well he got back 2 weeks ago. The first week i never called him the second week we argued on the phone he called me a backstabber and betrayer Told me he hated me. I said everything i did you pushed me to do! Either way i still miss him even though i don't like the stuff he did either so i call him the other nite it was late so i thought he might answer won't be busy well he did. He wasn't mean as usually and wanted to meet me. i did and wanted to talk to him about all this stuff and the divorce papers i had. Well we were "together" and after he said i hope i didn't confuse you we are still getting a divorce i started to cry i know he felt bed.

He said we could meet and do this teill we get divorced. Well i said you will answer your phone now he said yes two days have went by and i talked to him once when i called He said he would call me later never did. I thought he might possibly love me because no matter how horny he was how can he sleep with someone that tryed to have him deported. but the next day he went back to acting the same i'm so hurt and mad.

Answer 1

You do realize, don't you, that they aren't really allowed to contact anybody during basic except for just a few supervised phone calls? Sounds like you are really not cut out to be a military wife and divorce is your best option. I cannot believe you were insensitive enough to treat him so badly while he was in basic!!

P.S. Sex does not always equal love. He's sleeping with you because you're easy.

P.S.S. Looking at all your other questions about how you think about your ex everyday and you wanted to cheat and don't want to have sex with your husband anymore etc etc, I think you're a very messed up person. You need to leave this poor man alone.

Answer 2

Hello,,the problem with being in the military and having good communication with loved ones at home depends on the unit he is attached to . Sometimes security of the position is at risk and when your Husband is out facing the stress of combat situations day after day he will become brainwashed into this lifestyle and have a hard time thinking about home and family. He does love you and his children but because or the stress he was put in , has a hard time becoming a non-killing machine that has no preference to the soft side life you desire. You might be his lover for a while and he might become the person you remember but sometime somewhere he will have a trigger response to some situation and become the soldier again for a little while maybe longer depends on the trauma he has been through and the source of his mental thinking.

Answer 3

It sounds as if you wanted to reconnect with your husband and you did. Unfortunately it was on a physical level and men, unlike women can have sex without the emotional attachment which is why he said what he said. (and probably means it) Its probably best that you move on because he obviously is not forgiving of the things that occured between you before despite the fact you may have done those things because you felt bad about how you were being treated.

Answer 4

Yes, he's a selfish immoral pig for joining the military. You should divorce him as soon as possible. It's better for the children too if someone like that doesn't have any parental rights. Hopefully, you can get custody, but with the way America is, with all the supporting the troops and other immoral what not, unfortunately it will be an uphill battle.

Answer 5

Yes, you should be VERY MAD. I know I would be.
He used you and he is the one who betrayed you. I would get back at him. Try to make things work and then dump him yourself. Or don't give him a divorce for along time and make him run around. And I also like your idea about getting him deported. What an asshole!!!

Answer 6

Mad at what?

Either you want to make the marriage work or not. Look at your behaviour.

What did you want? A good strong marriage? Now look at what you did.

Sounds like you wanted a divorce and you're getting it. You should be happy. Congrats!

If you want a marriage, you have a lot of apologizing and making up to do.

Answer 7

Basic training can keep a man very busy especially for the first few weeks but after that, shame on him.

IMO you have been used and abused.
Now you are just easy and sleazy.

Dump this chump, reestablish your personal identity and integrity and move on with your life.

Good luck.

Answer 8

He's a selfish stuck up self centered petulant childish loser who is using you for free sex and immigration status, and you are a naive, gullible, immature goofball who thinks her amazing love will somehow transform him.

STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIM. You'll get pregnant, because of course you are having unprotected sex with him, (since "you love him") and you will tell yourself the *baby* will make him change and bring him back to you - AND IT WON'T.

Cut off the supply of free poontang at once, divorce him immediately, and next time get to know someone before marrying/screwing/etc. them.

This isn't some romance novel - it's your life. Stop making stupid choices.

Answer 9

There is only one thing to say....RUN away from this sorry piece of a man.
I it was me I would have been mad into hell and punish him by doing everything like he was never a part of my life.
You deserve so much better - take the garbage out of your life - the sooner the better.
Good luck.

Answer 10

Then make sure you stop divorcing and make it work minus the ego and the hate. Stop wasting it all and go for councelling if it helps. Make marriage work for life. Take a trip when he gets back. You can make it work and he will love you more for it. Both of you are in trouble so make it work.