I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it?" "No I had to stop drinking years ago", the woman told me. Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food" I asked. "No, I don't waste time shopping, the woman said. I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive. Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food? Are you nuts! replied the woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years. Well, I said, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight. The woman was shocked. Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell disgusting. I said, "That's okay, It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, salon visits, and wine.
2007-12-02 00:09:46 · 11 answers · asked by curious connie 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
That was great Gladys. Thanks!
2007-12-02 01:34:16 · update #1
ME TOO HARLEY LADY!!!
2007-12-02 01:35:49 · update #2
Very cute Connie. Now here's one for you . . .
A woman finds a genie's lamp. The genie comes out and says, "You may have 3 wishes, but your husband will get 10 times more than what you wished for."
The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be 10 times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"
"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish is granted.
Her second wish was that she would be the richest woman in the world. "You know your husband will be 10 times richer, right?" the Genie asks.
"That's okay. What's mine is his and what's his is mine," replied the woman. So the wish was granted.
The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.
2007-12-02 00:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by Gladys 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
lol this improve into hilarious no butter and chocolate are by no ability further to wine. Its the soil that the wine grapes improve in (ex: if there are orchards around a winery theres a extreme possibility thats notwithstanding the orchard is the wine could have a splash of that style i.e. plums, cherries, strawberries), additionally too some fruit is further to furnish style to the wine yet no longer diverse extreme high quality wines try this because it weakens the wine and outcomes the fee in keeping with bottle. additionally notwithstanding form of barrel the wine is elderly in as an occasion o.ok.barrels provide crimson wine this deep woodsy style, like deep experience of flavor. "Buttery" and "chocolatey" are basically the right thank you to describe the flavor. tell your husband to study diverse books and bypass to 3 vineyards before he supplies and "professional opinion" on the undertaking.
2016-12-17 04:28:25 · answer #2 · answered by isador 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, look at all we have learned here! Not planing on giving up on wine anytime soon! Just the best I've heard in a while! Kudos to all the great folks here on Seniors... Gladys you're a hoot! HL... don't get me started! LOL
Violation Fest!
2007-12-02 05:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Connie, I was smiling after I read your joke, but Gladys joke put me over the edge. I had to jump up and pee real quick. Go Gladys!
2007-12-02 01:08:42 · answer #4 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That one had me ROFl and then I read Gladys reply . Yeah off to the bathroom here too.
2007-12-02 03:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good thinking.I hope this is only a joke.(I could never give up my vise--a glass of wine at bedtime)....
2007-12-03 08:18:04 · answer #6 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good. A+
2007-12-02 02:20:11 · answer #7 · answered by lpaganus 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he he I shall stay on the wine then lol
2007-12-02 00:14:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the ending is jacked lolz
2007-12-02 00:13:18 · answer #9 · answered by fmadante 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cute, thanks and a star for you!
2007-12-02 00:14:22 · answer #10 · answered by slk29406 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋