Have your grown kids exceeded your expectations or been a disappointment to you?

Question

Not to imply that you don't love them no matter what the answer.

I appreciate everyone's opinions, as I said we always love our kids no matter what. My youngest is a real treasure, my oldest stole my identity and charged thousands of dollars in my name, is married to a deadbeat etc. I didn't have high expectations for her , but did not expect the things she's done either.
Thanks.

Answer 1

My oldest who was an honor student became a wiccan, whatever the hell that is. He's 44 and I haven't seen him since he was 18. The next one was a wife beater, druggie, drunk, interested only in stealing what he could from us and then disappearing. Haven't seen him for almost 20 years.
My youngest has married a wonderful, hard-working man. They have six little ones and are licensed foster care providers. They also have custody of his special needs adult brother and a 16 year old cousin who needed stability in her life. My oldest grandson lives with them and works hard. They are a solid Christian family and I see them every day.
You guess which one exceeded my expectations and which have been disappointing.

Answer 2

I dearly love both my kids, but they have turned out really differently. My daughter became a teacher and has a job in a very ritzy school. She married a successful businessman, and they are living "the high life" now. They are really happy, successful and rich. Those material things aside, she is also the kind of woman I hoped she would be - a really good person who gives her students 110%, gives her time to a womens' refuge, and keeps a healthy and happy home.
My son always looked for "the easy way" in everything. Never bothered to pursue education or a trade and is now in the building game. He and his girlfriend live in an over-priced apartment (near the beach since he "has to go surfing every day") and had a baby 10 months after they met. They live like there is no tomorrow, surround themselves with "the new toys"and only think of the future in terms of "how to make some quick and easy money". They live on junk food and the state of their home makes me itch for a broom and a duster.

Love them both ? Yes ! Wish one of them had made better decisions with his life? You betcha! But I can't live their lives for them. I have my own life to lead now, and I am really just an interested spectator in their lives. I don't take credit for the good they do, nor do I take the blame for the bad.

Isn't being a parent a mixed blessing ?

Answer 3

My 3 children have been the greatest from day being born. Never a problem of any kind, did their homework without being forced, liked school, A+ students, in all sports and very good in them, popular in school, like by classmates, loved by teachers. All three have Masters degrees with one having two Masters degree. They are very happy well adjusted adults. I could not be more proud of them. A few things I think that made them so good was that they were never allowed to "hang out", run the streets, etc., and we were involved in everything they did to show our interest. They were taught what was right and wrong and "only" they would be held responsible for there actions. And not a day went by without them being told they were loved and how proud I was of them.

Answer 4

I'm really uncertain what my children are up to.
The have discovered their own Independence and hardly ever call home any more. I suppose they are busy enjoying their lives.
I have to think back when I was their age, I disappeared for a good 10 to 12 years and didn't even phone home. I'm sure they will call when they need something.
I expect to see my youngest when he shows up dragging a couple of kids and a new wife, then and only then will he need his Mom and Dad again:~)

Answer 5

I have 4 children and two have by far exceeded my expectations. One is doing well for himself,but is working thru issues, and in time will get to where he wants to be. The last child is still home in school, trying to figure out just what he does want to do in life. Right now I hope he changes...lol..but yes I love them all and would not trade anything about them.

Answer 6

Truthfully, I had no expectations of them except that they move out and get their own lives...they did that, so they did as I expected them to do. What they have done with their lives can only be judged by them, not me. I am the black sheep of the family, yet the happiest in the family..so success may be measured by our individual yardsticks, not others. Interesting question. What my sons have done has made me proud, but it is their doing, not mine...so I have no reason to be proud. IF they are proud of what they have done, so much the better. I must say they haven't asked me for a dime...so that is the good side of it. Goldwing

Answer 7

They became the adults I always knew they would. Fine, fine human beings. And, they are raising fine, fine children also.

I truly can pat myself on the back..and do on a regular basis. Those two kids were the best things I ever did in my life.

It was worth every minute of lost sleep, every moment of worry, every cross or angry word that passed between us when I wouldn't let them do what they wanted. It was a 24/7 job but, oh boy, what great human beings they are.

Answer 8

There are many things in life that you need to except.

One, is that not everything you plan will develope like you want!

A lot of the things I felt could be a disapointment, became sources of pride in another direction!

Go Figure!

Answer 9

I couldn't be prouder of my four children. They are all successful. One of my daughter's is an RN, the other an Accountant and they live not too far from me. One of my son's is top salesman of major accounts in his company. My other son is moving up the ladder quickly and will soon open his own huge store. Unfortunately, my sons live up north in other states. To top it off, they are all such beautiful people and are all so well liked. by all. And.....they all love their mom, and constantly show it in so many ways.

Answer 10

i am glad to know that their are other parents out their who have kids like mine.i never see my son,he is a master chef at a resort and feels we are out of his league,he is very independent and always has been.he has never asked me for a dime.my daughter on the other hand has had lots of opportunity and been to school after school and still has chosen to do nothing with her life.she is very clingy and tends to associate her love and attention on eny one in the family who will pay her bills or do some thing for her.i made the mistake of helping her with her utilities,now i face having them disconnected on Monday.she will not pay eny one back,she feels that every one owes her a living.all i can say is thank god for grand kids.