When a friend of mine and I disagree, she becomes sooky and plays the silence game until I phone her and apologize, regardless of whether I did anything wrong. In the past I have overlooked this & called Miss Stubborn anyway to keep the peace, but it's started to bug me that she never recognizes her part in our disagreements. Last year I made a trip to the other side of the country where Miss Stubborn lives, but stayed with another friend of mine who I'd been planning on staying with for ages. I contacted Miss Stubborn and let her know that I'd arrived in her city and would love to catch up sometime. I could tell she was annoyed that I'd chosen to stay with someone else, but given that Miss Stubborn was in the middle of moving house, I thought it'd be best for me not to stay with her. I told Miss Stubborn how long I'd be in her city for & suggested she contact me when she was free- she never did & we haven't spoken since. Should I let her sort out her issues or give her a call?
2007-12-01 23:45:33 · 17 answers · asked by Richos 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It sounds to me like there is lots of give and take in this friendship, you give, she takes!
You took a very sensible line by informing her of where you were staying, and your reasons for staying with your other friend are reasonable, fair and considerate of Miss S's circumstances at the time given that she was just moving house. Did you tell her all the reasons why you stayed with this other friend? Could she have been miffed because she had been expecting you to help with the packing and the moving and suddenly that extra pair of hands was no longer available? If that should turn out to be the case then she was taking an awful lot for granted.
All things considered, I think this friendship has run its course, and I would definitely NOT contact her. Wait and see if she gets in touch with you, and if she fails to do so then cut your losses and accept this friendship has come to an end.
By the way, you sound like a really decent person to me, you have put up with her selfish behaviour for quite some time it seems and many people in your position would have given up on this 'friend' long before now.
2007-12-02 00:00:35 · answer #1 · answered by Pipppy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DEAREST,
you are too kind at heart , and want to be a good friend to her,
there is no one big or small in friendship , both are equal thats the reason that we never tell thankq or sorry in friendship or love.
your frienad always want u to apologise and never recognise her mistakes and always counts yours.
when you were in her city she did not meet u nor did she call u , i think she is too stubborn and she does'nt need u.
see one thing you can do is you call her and tell all the things you did when you were in her city . the things you enjoyed the most, she would definitely apologise that she could not make to your celbaratious moments and would apolgise
the other thing is that you stay away from her , and let her call you , as she dosent consider you a worth a friend , then whats for you just forget her and try to make more good friends like me
just kidding>>>>
friends should be forever and not for a timepass,
listen to your heart
all the best
2007-12-01 23:55:34 · answer #2 · answered by princeofindia_2006 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Miss Stubborn is playing games with you. I'm guessing she doesn't have many more friends and you feel sorry for her.
You need to decide if this friendship's worth it. If it is then accept that she is a bit petty and don't take it personally. She probably has trust issues from being mistreated as a kid.
2007-12-01 23:48:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get the same thing ! My friend takes little tantrums and then gives us silent treatment. I'll tell you one thing, your friend is attention seeking and is playing games with you. I used to give in and apologize to the cow because I couldn't be bothered with the drama but now, when she looks at me during the silent treatment as if she is expecting it, I go,"What ? Listen *****, I ain't apologizing for something you done. Your problem, you deal with it" The more I did this, the less that ***** tried to argue with me. I have a Miss Stubborn, but I became Mr Don'tcare and the problem was resolved.
Good Luck.
2007-12-02 00:16:36 · answer #4 · answered by pop 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this is just a way she tries to maintain control over you and probably other people in her life. You gave her a choice to meet you half-way and she chose not to meet you at all, and that is a choice. It's up to you whether you call her or not but if you do, don't expect her to have made any changes - if you want to continue the friendship you will just have to take her as she is. If you are not willing to do that, don't make the call.
2007-12-01 23:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by blc1610 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Admit it....you are over this "friendship!" I would NEVER make my friends feel bad, most important, play games with them. Love relationships take some effort, but a friendship, a true friendship is effortless. u can never help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. u ALWAYS have to be aware of these people! to these people there is no company to meet the endless misery. Negative energy is worse then a wet fart!!!
2007-12-02 00:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it looks like Miss Stubborn is taking you for a ride. She seems not to care about your friendship so move on and let her amke the first move, she seems a little selfish. I get what you mean by this, happened to me so many times.
2007-12-01 23:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should redefine your idea of "friend." Perhaps this person is simply an acquaintance whom you've stayed in touch with for a long time. I'd move on. Life is too short to put up with that.
2007-12-01 23:53:32 · answer #8 · answered by boiledcrabs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i say leave her to get on with her tantrum! its quite pathetic when 'friends' do this but you should find your backbone and say you got nothing to be sorry about..if need be play her at her own game, and if she doesent give in then i guess she wasnt worth your friendship in the first place
friends are easy to get but its wether thier for real or not
and well if it was me id rather have no friends then a bunch of fakes that aint gonna give a damn
2007-12-01 23:55:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's a CONTROL FREAK ! Stop letting her control you this way ! Stop taking things so seriously, and start enjoying life. Start laughing and quit worrying about her.
2007-12-02 00:01:53 · answer #10 · answered by 'ol Geezer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋