My sons dad was my first love, my first everything. We have been togeather sence I was 15 and I am now 26. the last five years has been on and off because he has been abusive, but he said it was because I was using drugs, wich I was the hard ****. I know that is know exuse for him hitting me but he says he is was going to change and so far he hasn't hit me four a year but is still sometimes verbally abusive. I guess I am addicted to him, and the sex is good so I stay in it. How do I know if I really do want to make this work and try again? cause sometimes I really do , and then sometimes I don't. Confused and tired that I can not make up my mind.
2007-12-01 23:07:17 · 15 answers · asked by Jennifer H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
guess the sex is worth it to get assulted verbally and physically. so I say you are a girl with no selfworth and fall for guys that abuse you. get help before you wind up in a pine box.
2007-12-02 06:51:36 · answer #1 · answered by Jecht 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never know if its the right thing. I personally would get out because the relationship doesn't sound healthy. Using drugs is no worse then him hitting you or verbally abuseing you. For all anyone knows you could be doing drugs to escape his abuse or he could be hitting you becuase you do drugs. Neither is right. I don't believe you are addicted to him but are comfortable. You know him better then any other guy. If you made a commitment to yourself to stay away from him for 6 months or more I bet all those feelings you have would go away. I know it hard being that it's your sons dad but you have to make the choice. As for the sex. IT can't be that good. And remember knowbody is good at sex the first time because of the awkwardness. Give somebody a few goes before deeming them no good.
All I have to say is if you really love somebody you wouldn't be confused.
2007-12-01 23:28:17 · answer #2 · answered by tellitlikitis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You grew up with this guy! Not much you time anywhere here. Maybe the way you are feeling is down to this. Try getting a part time job, if not for the money but for your own insanity. Meet new people, make new friends, have aims goals in life. You will find things will change in your relationship for the better. Best of Luck.
-x-
2007-12-01 23:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by Debbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in an abusive relationship....whether he hits you or is verbalizing abuse to you... doesn't matter. So... if you want to stay that way the rest of your life and you feel you don't deserve anything better, then stay with him. Personally?? You should be moving on sweetie... your life with him is NOT going to get any better....no matter what you think. Unless your b/f goes into some extensive councelling, you don't stand a hope in hell.
2007-12-01 23:26:15 · answer #4 · answered by Racer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is abuse.Physical and mental abuse there is no excuse for it in any relationship.
Yes we can get so involved we can't walk away,but should.Do you think about leaving more than you think about staying?That would be your answere.If you look at him and don't feel the love and feel more disgusted when you see him.When you wish he worked longer hours.When you wish he would just pack up and go on his own.There are other reliable, trustworthy and nice guys that don't want to hurt you out there.He is not the only one.
My first husband was my high school hunny.We got married at 19 had a baby at 21.The cheating and mental abuse came.The physical abuse started when i caught him cheating.I loved him.This went on for 4 years.then i had my son and it never got better just worse.I left one night and never went back.The bruises will go away.The mental abuse stays forever in your head.That is the worst part.
2007-12-01 23:52:25 · answer #5 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys are one messed up couple. If he hits you then he doenst deserve you. If you do drugs then you dont deserve him. Being together since that age makes you guys crazy and immature. It doesnt matter if you 26 now you guys shoulda started at 25.
All that just my opinion. Or educated guess base upon my life and the women i know.
2007-12-01 23:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Verbal abuse is bad for your self esteem. I think you need to speak to a proffessional person for some guidance and strength. Ask your doctor for a referral.
2007-12-01 23:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by holly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like it going to be tough decision. You have to do whats right for your son too. Make sure he has deffently changed. The rest is up to you.
2007-12-01 23:12:30 · answer #8 · answered by Wee_Vicki_93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Up to you really, you're a grown up now. Seems the sex is good, what else? Depends how important the sex is to you I suppose.
2007-12-01 23:11:06 · answer #9 · answered by ketkonen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that because you 2 have this child in common, it brings back all the good memories and forever keeps you tied to him, especially emotionally. i think that, for the safety of you and your child, you need to separate yourself from this man. you don't need to be subjecting yourself to him, you can find much better. i know it will be hard, but you have a kid now, and you need to be looking out for his safety and well being. best of luck to you :)
2007-12-01 23:12:33 · answer #10 · answered by toonlink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋