My boyfriend (who is now 19) was physically abused by his father when he was younger. I'm not going to go into details, but it didn't sound nice and I know he has a lot of resentment for his father now. They don't talk much and don't get on well.
One of our (well mainly his) friends commented him on myspace saying 'omg guess what?' and he replied saying 'what' and she said 'you and your Dad look almost identical!!'.
She doesn't know about his Dad. My boyfriend just told me what she'd said and he's quite upset about it now. She also told him that they act alike as well.
Is it my place to txt his friend and say just drop it? Or should I just leave it? I hate seeing him upset and we don't usually talk about this a lot. We've been together almost 3 years by the way.
2007-12-01 22:17:59 · 16 answers · asked by ★☆✿❀ 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
No, not sexual.
He isn't an angry person at all. I just don't want to make him upset or to bring back all those memories.
2007-12-01 22:32:31 · update #1
Thanks.
I wasn't going to 'share info' I was just going to say that it was a touchy subject and not to proceed with anymore comments like this.
2007-12-01 23:40:29 · update #2
I would advise leaving it, unless she does it again. She obviously doesn't know, and thinks what she said is harmless enough, but that's probably all she'll say about it. I mean, there's no need to comment several times on something like that - it would just be odd if someone did.
If she does it again, then maybe a text telling her to stop (in a nice friendly way, obviously) would be a good idea. But for the moment, I'd leave it, as it probably will just blow over.
2007-12-01 22:33:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He should tell his friend that his father is a touchy subject, and while she was trying to be well meaning with her comment, that it made him more upset then complimented him. He doesn't have to snap at her, she doesn't know the situation, and by all accounts he doesn't have to say more then being compared to his father makes him feel bad, rather then good. You don't have to do anything but encourage him and tell him that he and his father are not alike in the ways that matter.
2007-12-02 07:36:49 · answer #2 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say let it rest, many sons resemble their fathers, the problem as I see it, is the amount of personal information that is put on the net.
Myspace, Multiply and the others are full of trivial details that even non members can read and comment on.
Whenever I use them it is about matters that don't matter.
Don't put anything there you don't want others to see, and above all, don't add details that could identify you.
2007-12-02 12:06:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, I would say drop it and say no he actually looks like his grandpa, mother or someone he likes.
I hope his dad didn't sexually abuse him because then he'd be one hell of a messed up person.
Anyway, I think he may need some professional counselling to get over some of his anger.
It's maybe going to ruin his life.
Does he have a bad temper?
2007-12-02 06:31:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jesusa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for starters u should dont be to impulsive and confront his fren who said that... she doesnt noe it in the first place.. but u can tell her nicely about ur bf's past abuse so in the future nth like that would happen again.... and to the bf.. he cant really do anything about him having resemblances of your dad coz well it's his dad an it's already embedded in the genes... but what he should noe is the resemblance doesnt mean he IS his dad n noe that he is a much netter person than his father.
2007-12-04 01:45:38 · answer #5 · answered by mohawkshock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think saying "he and his dad don't get along, so please don't bring him up" lets any secrets loose.
Remind him that on the inside he's different, that's what matters. I wouldn't go into it more with him than that unless he wants to. I know this is a touchy subject.
2007-12-02 10:57:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would ask your boyfriend to remove pics of his dad on his MySpace (if he has any) And I would let it go unless she texts him again, and ....well, maybe you should ask him what he would prefer you do. You've been together for almost three years so you should be able to ask him anything by now. Good luck hon.
2007-12-02 17:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by PURR GIRL TORI 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Sarah,
Comfort your boyfriend, i.e., stay in your role as a girlfriend, not a mother. Given your boyfriends age, it would be inappropriate, even for his mother, to intervene. Your boyfriend, needs to handle this himself, with your support.
Larry
2007-12-02 22:31:35 · answer #8 · answered by Larry 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Wabby, I know she doesn't know your boyfriends family history but she shouldn't be saying anything about anyone, no
matter who or what they are. If it was me Sarah i would say to her,Please back off from what you say about my B.F. You don't understand his family history and what you are saying is hurting him. So please say, "no more and ask no questions",PLEASE!!!
A Friend,
poppy1
P.S. One of your answers you received said, "it wasn't your busy"!!! This person is totally WRONG!!! What involves you or your B.F. is both of your busy. YOU really love this guy stick by is side no matter what my friend.
2007-12-02 20:11:08 · answer #9 · answered by poppy1 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Poor guy, yea you might wanna txt the friend and tell them to drop it - It is your place to get involved and should be in your best interest to do so.
2007-12-02 08:53:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋