If a girl who you have dated for 2 years (known for 7) and loved dearly and she loved you moved away for 6 months and after 3 weeks of being away breaks up with you and pursues another man and after 8 weeks realises he is a jerk and wants to come back to you saying she made a hughe mistake and does love you. Do you think she is genuine??? Or do you think she is just now scared because she got mistreated and only sees you as a back up?
Also I decided to take her back but she seems to being acting at a distant with me, we dont say I love you anymore because she wants to take things slow again (yet she says she does love me)
What is going on? Also she moved to the usa for college for 6 months so it has been a huge adventure for her so far and likely to continue.
2007-12-01 19:59:08 · 24 answers · asked by Blake E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok...Hold your horses!
You've known her 7 yrs...Together 2...How many men has she dated?
If you were her best friend, first love...she may have gone off and wanted to experience independence and thought another guy was the answer...and realized she was being foolish.
Coming back to you, she wants the relationship but wants to maintain her newfound self-sufficiency... She wants you to acknowledge she has grown and that she is not the same little girl (as she felt) that she was when you met.
Don't assume you are being played... you have known her long enough...your gut would tell you if she were capable of such deceit and you probably wouldn't have known her this long if she was a manipulator....
Best of luck to you both :)
2007-12-01 20:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by :) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you can keep taking her back; however, she is starting to let her true personality out. When she leaves again, the same thing will happen; in fact, I have seen it with my own wife. It sucked everytime; however, I know that I know that I know that I love her and she is the one for me - as I like to say. So, it all depends on you, bro. If you can put-up-with/understand that this act is the way she is going to be for awhile...then you will be able to take the problem and break through it; otherwise, if you want to be shallow and really are tired of her ***, then biuld up the strength, balls, and whatever else you think you might need and leave/get-away from her. Start new; don't be affraid.
With all that said, the descion is still yours.
2007-12-01 21:05:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm pushing 40 and I've completed my 2nd divorce w/kids. Sounds like she may be using you as a crutch until she finds what she wants which is not fair to you. How does the term hostage sound? Too harsh? Good, my point is you have invested a lot of time in that relationship however so has she but when it comes right down to it, did you guys agree to break-up or did she? I'm not trying to push you to break it off with her, I just want you to understand that there is no guarantee that you guys will be together until you are both gray. Love yourself FIRST>Trust me I know what I'm talking about.
2007-12-01 20:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by T-Mack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 things..... 1st thing...women are IMPOSSIBLE to understand and trying will just give you a headache.....2nd thing, long distance relationships rarley last, ESCPESIALLY if they are in college. I think that this girl WAS genuine. Sometimes you have to loose something to really realize what you had...i think that if a relationship is having problems the only way to KNOW if it was real is to see first hand. Put the love to the test. maybe you guys should take a break for a little while, if it is meant ot be it will be!
2007-12-01 20:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by ~So much FUN~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude you know the answer.. face it, you are her back up guy... the other guy may have been a jerk but you are still there for her and shes the type of girl who CANT be alone..
Ive been in a long distant relationship with my girl for 5 years already, nothing can break us up.. and we're very happy.
So, if my sh!t luck got me a girl that would stick with me that long then im sure you can to! Just face it bro, dont be the backup guy..
She just cant be alone, you dont leave someone for another dude, then come back after hes a jerk and say "i love you".. F that bro dont put up with that!
best of luck to you
2007-12-01 20:04:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I just think that she is caught up in moving to the usa and is just loving the excitement of it,also i think that she might have gotten scared when this jerk mistreated her and realized that she only knows the one good guy(and that is you).That is why she got freaked and came back to you,which leads me to believe that this girl is not genuine in her feelings about you at all.You might want to take sometime for yourself and let this girl go,she is obviously lost and doesn't know what she wants at all.Let her go and sow her wild oats,(because that is obviously what she wants to do at this at this point.)And be with a girl who is sure about her feelings towards you.Maybe then she will truly realize that the perfect guy was in front her all along and she doesn't need to step out on you to realize this.But hopefully in her case i hope that she doesn't learn this lesson too late for her sake.
2007-12-01 20:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by demonfirelife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she really does want to slowly rebuild your trust and be sure she doesn't hurt you. Maybe you are a back-up. I think you know her, and you know the answer. Maybe you are just too sad to admit it? Or maybe you are just being paranoid. It's hard to say. If you're not feeling fulfilled and happy, break it off. There's no use putting yourself out there unless you're getting something out of it. Be cautious with your heart, and if she treats you bad, remember you deserve better and end it with her. I don't know if she loves you, but I err on the side of breaking things off. But it's up to you.
2007-12-01 20:10:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think when she says she loves you, she is really saying that she is comfortable with you, and means she loves you as a dear close friend, but sit down with her and ask her the question if she is "in love" with you and if she is not sure, or she does not know the difference, tell her that you need to take time to see where this is going.
2007-12-01 20:05:04 · answer #8 · answered by tiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are both still really young. Yes, she may love you, but maybe she wants to figure out who she is. If she is still in school, her environment will change her alot. This is the time to test your wings and find out who you want to be with. If you don't meet other people, how do you know what you like or who you want to be with. She may find out it was you all along. Don't be in such a hurry.
2007-12-01 20:11:00 · answer #9 · answered by Nicole 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After that length of time you should have married her or else moved on. And you don't go around saying "I love you" like a couple of clueless 14 year olds.
You don't sound like you have a lot of maturity, character or understanding. Stop wasting this woman's time and your own time.
2007-12-01 20:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋