My husbands son and biologically mine as well, as embarassing as it is to say, knocked up his girlfriend. He is 19 she is 18. I kicked him out right when he told me (he is living with his uncle I think) and took in his ex girlfriend ( we made them break up!). I felt horrible that her parents kicked her out as well because you dont kick out a pregnant girl! Espically at her age.She is 5 months so unfortuntally its too late for an abortion in the eyes of god. Anyways my husband completly thinks im crazy and just does not get that we can not have this embarssment (his son), living in our home. We have already been completly cut off from our friends espically those at the country club, this can not go any further. We are looking for a private adoption agency to take the baby when its born. Both my husbands son as well as Katie (his ex girlfriend) want to keep it but we know that they have it all wrong and could never raise a child. My husbands son wants to take care of the child and says that he will never leave Katie, but I just know its not going to happen. Theres college and jobs and stuff. They are way too young and NOT EVEN MARRIED!!! School and his social life are supposed to be number one in my sons life right now! I have cut off my sons college tuition savings so he has to get a job to pay for it himself. Theres no money for a baby. Espically since we live in Beverly Hills and he is over at his uncles in Toronto. We are both educated parents who have great careers. My husband is a doctor and I am a lawyer. How could this have happened!? WHERE CHRISTIAN! He went to church and bible study every sunday and went to a PRIVATE CHRISTIAN SCHOOL!!! The biggest embarassment ever.
Also where can we find an adoption agency. One that will take the baby right when it is born. We dont want any of us to see it, espically Katie. She still thinks shes keeping it. But not as long as she is living under my roof. This child needs to heterosexual wealthy well educated parents. A big house in the subarbs with a dog. Not a small house in San Diego (where Katies parents live), with a electrician father and "home maker" mother.
I could never imagine what god is thinking of all this!
2007-12-01 19:17:42 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
For a Christian, you seem to be very confused.
You forced your son to break up with the mother of his child, you kicked him out because he's an embarrassment to you and your friends at the country club, and you seem to think you can take their baby from them.
GET OVER YOURSELF.
They are adults, they had sex, it happens a lot these days, don't act surprised.
Your "friends" at the country club, suck. Deal with it, bored rich people tend to be superficial. Make some real friends who can help you through times of crisis.
You can't take their baby! It's theirs, not yours.
It seems to me like you think that you can blackmail your son and his ex-girlfriend into doing what you want. That is what you're doing, don't try to deny it.
Lady, if you weren't so hung on how unseemly the situation is maybe you'd be able to do the CHRISTIAN thing.
Christians help each other out, they give support and love when others are in need.
Don't get me wrong, I agree that your son needs to work to support his child.
However, cutting him off entirely is a bad idea, you're just building animosity between yourself and your son.
Let your son come home, sit down with him and his ex-girlfriend, and talk.
Don't try to control them, or fix things.
Get them to discuss different scenarios where they keep the baby, or give it up for adoption.
I beg you to get your priorities straightened out. Perhaps talk to your priest. Maybe he can remind you that Christianity is about love, not keeping up appearances.
2007-12-01 20:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia! 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
My husbands son, what a crock.
I quit believing in religion for the very reason of your question.
You failed in raising your son and teaching him about birth control and the disadvantages of having sex at such an early age. I always carried a condom with me in case I got lucky and many times I did.
What Katie and your son needs now more than anything else is you and your husbands support. You don't deserve the joy of being a grandparent.
Get over it. It won't kill you but just might make you a better person. Encourage Katie and your son to get an education or vocational training. So you may have to dig into your pocket and part with a little money. When you die, you can't take it with you.
My daughter was 6 months old when my wife and I got married. She had another daughter by her first husband who was a real deadbeat. I adopted the girl and treated her the same as my biological daughter. We're one happy family.
P.S. I gave nearly everyone a thumbs up on their answer. While I don't necessarily agree with the religious side of their answer, I do agree with the dressing down they gave you.
BURN IN HELL if there is such a place.
2007-12-02 12:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by notadeadbeat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First: He's your son too. So stop being immature and calling him "my husbands son"... because it's annoying, and disrespectful.
Second: He had sex. That's the way that babies are made... I can send you a sketch if you are still unsure how you did it 19 years ago.
Third: Grow up. You kicked him out when he told you he got his girlfriend pregnant? Then you took in his "ex-girlfriend".. Where is the sence in that?? You think you are going to get better control that way? Well, it's not going to work. I agree with a previous poster, if you can kick a boy out, why would you take the girl in.. they are both in the same situation. Did her parents take your son in??
Fourth: Where the heck did you read/find/figure that in the eyes of God you can morally abort a baby before the fifth month of pregnancy?!! That is rediculous! I've never seen or heard of that passage before that it would be ok before a certain point to kill a baby. NEVER!
Being Christian has nothing to do with how everyone else around you lives. You can be Christian all you want, and you can't make those you love different just because you claim a certain religion. Sounds like you are not practicing your claimed religion... if you were you would read the BIBLE and LIVE accordingly.
As for the adoption.... You have no right - legally, or morally - to force an adoption if the parents don't want to give their baby up. Katie can get a restraining order on you during her delivery, and you will have nothing to say or do about it. And she can put a restraining order on you after baby is here, and you will be cut out of your grandchilds life forever.
As for embarassment....
Sounds like your friends are more embarassed about YOUR behaviour in this situation, than your sons. He did the honorable thing, he told you... he's staying around, he's wanting to keep the baby.. And who are you to say that he's not going to be a fit parent? Sounds like he's starting out on the right foot.
"We don't want any of us to see it (the baby), espically Katie. She still thinks she's keeping it. But not as long as she is living under my roof."
She has other options. Friends. Other relitaves. Shelters. She has other options. She won't be there forever... especially if you keep up with this pressure that she will have to choose between you and her baby.... the choice is SO CLEAR! and you loose.
The stress of this - you trying to keep them apart (which I'm sure isn't working as well as you would like to think it is), and the constant pressure Katie is feeling - is going to have it's own effects on the baby. Can cause long term problems of anxiety and other physical damage. You need to think about that. Even if the baby is (by the choice of the MOM aka KATIE) given up for adoption, the baby could have problems and be difficult to take care of for the adoptive parents as well. Even you wouldn't want that, I'm sure. You wouldn't want to have unhealthy effects on someone else's baby, would you?? No, of course not.
Don't try to imagine what God is thinking of this..... I'm sure your brain won't wrap around this one at all.
I really do pray for you, that you will see what you are doing now, and still have a chance to change before the baby is born, and you have really done damage.
2007-12-01 20:38:33 · answer #3 · answered by moomommy24 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I could not even finish reading the question
you fail as a parent
you fail as a person
you are a self centered POS
the fact that he is being responsible and helping he girl shows that at least his father MIGHT have done something right
know that any and all achievments made by your child are in spite of you, and your god if he existed would disaprove of your actions.
Marriage was originally a Pagan practice outlawed bye the church
the cross was originally a pagan symbol
This is why I have trouble with some Christians
I firmly believe that without the fear of god you would have no self control
you fail as a person
go kill yourself
Sincerely yours
The Ethical Atheist
EDIT:
I just wanted to point out that a toaster is the bathtub does not work most of the tine anymore due to safety mechanisms
and remember if you slit your wrists, up the road not across it...
for you personally, I would recommend leaving everything to your son, who you owe very much and stabbing yourself in the stomach then go lie down, it should take about 20 minutes for your stomach acid to stop your heart hopefully, it will be excruciatingly painful,
but remember, you deserve it! :-)
2007-12-01 20:34:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
You are so unbelievably shallow and self centered. they are both legally adults and if they want the baby they are going to keep it. babies dont need a big house they need love and if your son and his girlfriend will love that baby you are in no place to judge them. people who are years younger than them have kids and take care of them. where you live, who you know, how they were raised, their religion, and their school they went too have nothing to do with it. all im hearing from you is that you are so worried about your social life that you dont care about what your son needs. you should be supporting him and not turning your back on him, all that will do will make him not want anything to do with you and hate you. you really are dilutional to think that you will be able to say whether or not that child will be put up for adoption. just because you have kids at a young age doesnt mean your cant do well in life. by helping him with school he will have more of a chance of going to college if you dont he might not go at all and just live in a house with his girlfriend and that baby. you wont change his mind about taking care of his responsibilties. as a parent you should be worried about him doing the right thing and the right thing is to have the baby and to figure things out. hes not a baby anymore and he doesnt need you it would just be nice for you to swallow your pride and be a good parent and help him though. abortion is murder anyway. if you are such a good christian then why would you be telling him to murder his child and if i remember correctly if you were so holy you would forgive him!!!!! i dont care about the money you make or what church you go to, that doesnt make you a good person or a good christian. this is the worst question i have ever seen on here. how could you want people to help you find an adoption agency that will take your sons child away when neither one of the babys parents will let that happen. oh and by the way. she could say that she doesnt want to see her baby if she didnt want him/her and give the baby up for adoption but they give 24 hours after the baby is born to change your mind. but thats a nonissue anyway since they wont give the baby up. marriage isnt everything with having a baby. alot of people get married and have kids and then get divorced. you need to get off the computer and apologize to your son for caring more about yourself then him and your grandchild and tell him that he can move back in and have money for school. stop only caring about what you think and how your feel and put your son first. Oh and by the way im 18 and 5 months pregnant and i live at my moms house and she goes to church and she loves me and told me to stay here until i graduate from college in 4 years!!! but my mom is an amazing woman and mom. i guess not everyone is though.
2007-12-01 19:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I could not read your whole question. Your son is an adult and so is Katie. They had sex and got pregnant I'm quite sure that is how you guys made him. Please do not be mad at him and you should not be embarrassed! I'm sure you are just mad right now and hopefully you can calm down. This is no longer your decision to make. If they want to keep their baby let them, do not force them to give their child up. I hope no one agrees with this. If they keep the baby and end up loosing hopefully you will understand how silly this sounds. There is nothing wrong with having a child and not being married! I'm sure I am not the only person who is not married with children answering this question. I can not say anymore! God is probably thinking that it was meant for them to have a baby!
2007-12-01 19:34:45 · answer #6 · answered by Mz Bree 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
first of all he is 19 he is a grown man and if he wants to have a child and be with the mother of the child its nothing you can do about it. you should be happy for him at least he is not like these other men out here and leave when they find out. what kind of mother are you???? how can you kick him out because of this? a good mother would not be embarrassment of her son. the christian that you think you are would not look down on people the way you do. you cant make her put her child up for adoption because she doesn't live in a big house that's bull s***!!!! living in Beverly Hills does make you good parents hell look at you. how you know your son is not going to marry the girl??? you need to sit down and take a long look in the mirror and at your life before you try and take over somebody else.
2007-12-01 19:27:10 · answer #7 · answered by tia s 3 · 10⤊ 0⤋
Son Knocks Up Mother
2016-10-15 01:27:03 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to give the baby up, then she can do it. But if that's what you want and she doesn't...then she can decide. i'd move out if i was her. and all the money and education in the world can't stop something like this from happening. so i'm sorry if she wants to keep the baby, but she should. i'm sure there are other places she could live.
all that money won't replace the feelings your son will get when he sees your hideous face. because you turned him down, and that's not right. you are a horrible person and i hope this girl keeps the baby and brings it to every family outing and rubs it in your face.
p.s
kicking your son out was real nice...very christianly.
2007-12-02 02:13:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They had SEX. And shame on you, it's your child you are talking about! How can you worry more about what other people think and place that before your responsibility towards your son?! Even though he is 19, a parent's responsibility never ends, it just changes form.
You need a wake-up call, big time. Could someone please just pop this "well educated" airhead's bubble?!
As for what happens to the baby after he/she is born, that's it's parent's choice, not yours.
And by the way, it's God, not god!
2007-12-01 21:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by I Raven 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋