I punished her after she told me that I am a bit*** because I forbid her to go out after 9pm ; she is now totally calmed down and quiet ; but do I educate her the the wrong way ?
2007-12-01 18:26:52 · 61 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
no, dont get caught up in these twisted people saying shes too old and you should hit you children youre NOT beating her you disciplin her and she need to know thats she is wrong... most children that dont get corrected like that dont have respect for theyre parents and think they can run over top of them. im GLAD i got corrected that way growing up cuhz i know i test my parents to the fullest.. and i know better because of that. dont think your wrong. maybe bare butted but i still would of whooped her like butt. dont feel wrong. feel as if your teaching her respect!
2007-12-01 18:34:11 · answer #1 · answered by Proud Mommy 4/22/O8 & 2/O9/1O 4 · 10⤊ 6⤋
you're sending her mixed messeges by the way you're punishing her. It's not ok to hit anyone, and If you spank her she'll think that it is ok. if she says a naughty word then tell her that its not ok because its showing dis-respect and by her dis-respecting you its basicly telling you that she doesnt give a care about you or what you have to say as a mother. I dont think any child should be spanked. I know this sounds childish but she's 11, if she does something wrong then double her age number (22) and that's how many minutes she sits in a corner. If she does something wrong or says something wrong while there, restart the time. even if shes 2 mins away from being out of the corner. After a whole day of just sitting in a corner she'll be done with swearing. Also dont swear in front of her...she'll think you're a hippocrite for it and swear anyway.
2007-12-01 18:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you probably did something rather incorrect and you have been punished in an extreme way. I admit that it became into unusual that, at 15, you have been in no way spanked previously and on the bare butt at that. although, that spanking exhibits how in touch your father - and doubtless your mom, besides -is approximately you utilising drugs. Did the punishment greater healthy the crime, which you would be able to communicate? i think that it did. the reality that your father warned you that yet another consultation will take place - in ordinary terms worse - in case you employ drugs lower back, could convince you to alter your habit. not in ordinary terms could desire to you ask for forgiveness, yet you may thank your dad for worrying plenty approximately you. Then, promise to stay removed from marijuana and mean IT.
2016-10-10 01:28:08 · answer #3 · answered by favaron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's too old, especially in front of other people, my mom stopped spanking me altogether when I was around six, I think. Spanking doesn't even work, it just causes more problems, it doesn't fix any, physical punishment isn't right. I have been physically punished before (spanked, slapped, etc.) and it did nothing but make me more violent, angry and made me resent her. It didn't even scare me, it just made me angry and upset. It doesn't happen anymore though, my family had a lot of issues, we still have some, but life is good. She shouldn't have said that to you though. Take things away from her like privileges (computer, phone, etc.) or objects (iPod, game system, etc.) for a while depending on what she did.
2007-12-01 19:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
I believe spanking here bare butt was a little harsh but she was wrong to call you that name and she should not be out past 9pm! I was able to stay out that late until I was 16 years old and even then I had to be home at 10 or be with my friends parents. Do not feel too bad about it she needs to know that she can not disrespect you.
2007-12-01 18:36:06 · answer #5 · answered by Mz Bree 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
She is 11 and thats too old. Trust me. I'm only almost 13 but when I was 11 my mom still thought I was all young too. . .but 11 really isnt actually that young. You did educate her the wrong way. Its ok to yell sometimes and give a consequence but spanking is definitely not gonna help. Shes not gonna learn anything from it besides being scared of you next time. . .dont just spank people when youre mad.teach them the right thing
2007-12-02 02:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by heyitspreeti 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think what you did was very wrong.
She is too old to be spanked, let alone spanked bare-butt.
And spanking her in front of her grand-parents ? What were you thinking ?!
I am very close to her age and if my mother did that to me, I would be too angry to speak. If anyone tried to do that to me, i'd 'spank' them in the face ! Do you understand how degrading it is, to be spanked bare-butted, in front of your grand-parents, as a girl, at the age of eleven ? It is degrading !
Why didn't you just TALK to her ? What you did will probably have made her even angrier at you. I know i'd be.
You are definitely educating your daughter the wrong way. Sure, she's getting the message, which is not to argue with your rules or to swear at you, but not because you discussed it with her pleasantly, but because you humiliated her !
I know i'm no expert, but as a young teenager and the daughter of a mother who also believes public humiliation is the way to go (though she hasn't had to go down that road for a while), I know that this just isn't right !
Next time, try TALKING to your daughter.
2007-12-01 19:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
she is definitely too old, there are many ways of punishing your kids , at that age a spanking will deinitely not do it, what ever happened to grounding her to her room during her favourtie tv show, taking away some sort of priviledge for a week, or having her participate in some sort of house chore and u spanked her bare butt, are u cave man's sister,weren't u embarrased to be doing that infront of her grandparents, you totally disrespected you daughter, how is she going to have respect for u if u dont respect her, she won't respect u , she will only be afraid of u and probably hate u for humilating her, kids do things all the time to piss us off but we are the adults so it is upon us to find the means and ways of disciplining or better said teaching or kids right from wrong, so start acting like an adult
2007-12-01 18:40:40 · answer #8 · answered by ulie S 1 · 2⤊ 3⤋
hmmmm... bare butt, eh? Alone would be bad enough, but in front of grandparents, well that's another matter. What did the grandparents do? I'm sure they were a little taken back. I think she's a little too old for that, but not for discipline. Unfortunately, at the age of 11, you have to out-think her ... which is more of a challenge that it may sound like. Its time to delve into the realm of the mind for punishment... good luck.
2007-12-01 18:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by fiveamrunner 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think the punishment is up to the parents...Me I dont believe in spanking a girl after they hit ten or so.. bye that age I think that a person should be able to have a conversation with thier children and point out the undesirable behavior.......if you do this , this will happen....hitting them seems only say that I am bigger than you so you have to listen to me....seems to say force is a solution....when they are younger they seem to only understand ouch and yum....I dont feel like going into an elaborate answer. it must have upset you other wise you wouldnt be thinking about it...peace
2007-12-01 18:34:11 · answer #10 · answered by sltydgx 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
definately too old!
Puberty is an embaressing enough time without ur mum humilating you by pulling your trousers down to hit u!
Punishments like taking away privilages and grounding are much more likely to work and gain you respect.
Ask other parents of girls from your daughters class what works for them.
Violence breeds violence. Dont teach her its ok to treat others like that. cos u really wouldnt like to be treated like that, no matter how old u are.
In heated situations you have to be the one in control, not the one fuelling the fire and taking the arguement to another level.
Keep calm (as hard as it may be!!!) Be mentally strong not physically.
Keep the lines of communication open with her,
after the punishment has been completed forgive and forget.
2007-12-01 19:00:39 · answer #11 · answered by Just me 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋