Do you think that a woman should not keep finances hidden from her husband?

Question

evenif she can ay them with out him knowing?

i spent 160 dollars more on the kids than we agreed on for christmas...if he finds out i will be in big trouble.....i dont want him to get upset with me i can pay it off with my money I have made selling homemade breads and cakes to the church memebers for special events such as birthday parties and familiy reunions...if i can pay it without him knowing is it ok not to tell hm?

Answer 1

Unless it is a surprise gift, all spending in a relationship should be disclosed. The best thing about a relationship is having someone that balances you out. Maybe he is an excessive spender and you are savey. Well would you want him just going out and buying things without letting you know? The same goes for you as well. Maybe you aren't as savey as you believe. Maybe you are the compulsive spender in the relationship. Talk with each other and find out what you both think. You aren't just a couple, you are a team. Work together and know both of your strength and weaknesses. Maybe he would prefer you spend the money and not bother him with the details, but find out what he thinks first. And if you can't have your own bank account with your own money in it you might want to find another man.

if you buy him something he wants he will be less upset when you tell him. but for sure tell him. trust is very important in a relationship.

Answer 2

A woman should not keep the finances hidden from her husband. You stated you both agreed on what you would spend. You need to keep your word. That is all you really have in life. I think in this case if you pay it back then tell him it will be OK. However, in response to "catwoman" above. Keeping your finances hidden only shows insecurity,a lack of trust, and dishonesty. When two people get together, they need to discuss the important thing. Do you want kids? How many? How should we agree to handle our finances? -all important topics that need to be discussed and agreed upon in the marriage. By not following the agreement, you are disrespecting your partner. And if you can't trust or respect your partner, you shouldn't be married. In this day in age, plenty of people live together who are not married.

Answer 3

No you should not keep it from him. It is OK to have separate accounts, my husband and I did for years when I was working full time. I payed certain bills and then the rest I did as I pleased with, but I never kept anything from him.
Besides if you have been making extra money, there should be no reason for him to get upset, it's not like you are charging up credit cards and maxing them out. You have extra cash. Just say "Hey honey guess what? I made some extra money from the bake sale, and I got the kids some extra gifts. Come and help me wrap them, please."
If he gets angry then you have bigger issues to deal with,because that would not be normal behavior.

Answer 4

In money matters I hate the idea of being like a kid having to "report in' re the budget and be accountable for what I might spend. To a degree, agreeing on financial things is important when it concerns big spending in the thousand dollars and more areas but with smaller amounts to me it is ideal for the woman to have a certain amount of free, even impulse, spending as it is good for your soul to feel you are in control of not really huge amounts of money and I would not like to tip toe around what my husband thinks of an over-expenditure of $160.00 either!!! Any hope of you getting a part time job to give you a bit more money to play with or up the price of the cakes????

Answer 5

Experience and past situations should be your guideline on how to proceed now.
Only you know if you need to keep it to yourself or disclose it and risk a fight.
PS: Is the reason for him to react bad the fact that there is no extra money for X mas for the kids or he is just a controlling b....d?
If the money is tight then you need to be careful and repay asap
If it's the second, then you have every right to protect yourself...keep a secret wallet too;)

Answer 6

Marriage is a partnership. Both parties need to be honest and upfront with the other. If you make your own money and have your own account, then you can do what you want. If you have joint account then you must not keep finances hidden. You would not want the same thing done to you, would you?

Answer 7

Are you scared of your husband? If so, it is a good idea not to tell. If not, I would say to that you shouldn't keep it from him. You'll probably find out that he's done something similar by sharing anyway. God blesses those who are truthful and condemn's those who condemn. If your husband is a child of God, he will not want God's rath to fall on his condemnation of you. Be honest if possible at all times. You are not perfect and neither is your husband. God is love and God is truth, so if you love your husband tell him the truth. God will take care of the rest. Just don't get yourself hurt or anything. God would not want that. Let me know, if you need further help. God Bless.

Answer 8

No, neither person should ever have to "hide" anything from their spouse. That is not honest. Think of it this way - if a woman has $100,000 of debt that she "hides", God forbid something happen to her and now the husband is resposnible for that debt, and he did not even know about it.

It's just not right. There is supposed to be a level of honesty, trust and undersanding betwen a husband and wife.

Answer 9

A woman has every right to keep her finances to herself because it is not her responsibility to pay for everything. If you want to help, help pay the bills but never tell your husband the full amount that you have or make. You can tell him about it but there's a limit to what he is entitled to. Even if people say its 50-50 in a marriage - that is NOT true with men. They'll only give you what they think is proper even if its not enough to support you.

Answer 10

You are a good woman. If that is what you chose to do with your extra earnings then there should be no contest to that. It's not like you bought yourself expensive shoes or a a purse, You did something for your family.