Me and my ex-wife got devoiced 3 months ago and she has found a new boyfriend in that time period and is going to be moving in with him soon, And my problem is if I get this job I got interviewed for (laid off from last job) I will be only seeing the kids on the weekend which is very little but what I am worried about the most is that our kid (2 years old) will be seeing this new guy alot more then me and makes me worried that our daughter will starting see this new guy as a father more then me since he will be there more.. I really think its them to soon to live together but thats just me, Any advice you guys can give me to calm my nervousness
2007-12-01 16:38:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
make a choice, career or kids. the one who spends the most time with the kids will be the one they go to.
2007-12-02 05:03:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like a good situation, or that your ex has a lot of common sense. No one can know someone well enough to move in with them after 3 months...I have no doubt that it won't work. This new guy probably won't wish to be seen as a father figure unless he is a very exceptional man. I doubt your daughter will forget you, just continue to see her as often as possible.
You could also talk to your ex about the possible effects it will have on the child. Just make sure she does not think you are jealous. Maybe she would agree to shared custody, phrase it so that it seems you want her to have time to develop her relationship before the child lives with them.
You could also talk to your attorney about how a live-in relationship can be dealt with legally. I doubt if it is cause to obtain custody, but it never hurts to ask.
2007-12-01 16:51:02 · answer #2 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately no. I agree with you 100% and would feel exactly as you do. It is a horrible thing you are going through and more than a little selfish of your wife to do this.
All that being said, there isn't anything you can DO about it. She is in control of her own life now and she is comfortable moving forward with things the way they are. If you try to make an issue out of this you will only make things worse for yourself and the divorce you are going through.
I would talk with your lawyer and let him/her help you decide how if anything this changes what is going with your divorce and go with that. Just don't let your emotions get the better of you and end up looking bad which could end up hurting your process in getting the divorce.
Throughout all this, keep a mantra going to lead with your head and not your emotions. It will help a LOT with this process.
Outside of that, I feel for you and wish you nothing but good fortune with this. Be strong, and I am sure things will work out in the long run.
2007-12-01 16:49:50 · answer #3 · answered by JA in SC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this stage in time you just have to accept that there is going to be two daddies for your daughter. What I do suggest is that you get your visitation rights sorted out as soon as possible, if you haven't already, and make sure you use every visitation you get with your daughter so that she won't forget who you are. Another suggestion is don't try and poison the child's mind against the other man cause it will only hurt the child more than anyone else. When she gets older she will understand and know who her real father is and she will know that you were always there for her.
2007-12-01 16:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is going to be difficult since your daughter is so young. If your divorce was amicable, you can talk to your ex-wife about your concerns regarding your daughter. (Be sure to limit your discussion to the daughter's relationships with you and the BF and not to get into your opinions about your ex's relationship.) If the little one does not call the BF "Dad" or "Daddy" then that will help to delineate that there is a difference between you and him. It may be difficult initially because she is so young, but over time she will mature and grow to understand the difference.
I would also suggest you clarify now with your ex whether or not the live-in will ever be alone with your daughter or responsible for disciplining her. Those can turn into major issues that will also help to further define the BF's role in your daughter's life.
2007-12-01 16:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by detailgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry it sounds as if in the back of your mind you are a little jealous that another male figure will be in your child's life. its not your decision to make as far as what your ex is doing. as long as you stay in your child's life and spend time with your child, every thing will work out. always remember do not! talk to your child about the other parent or the new man in your ex's life. you have to work and most fathers only see their children on the week-ends or every other week-end. Just make sure when your not working that you take that time for your children. Don't worry, they know who their father is and unless you abandon them you wont have a problem.
2007-12-01 18:35:19 · answer #6 · answered by sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are the types of things that happen when divorces take place, with children, and new adults come into their lives. Yes, your children will be seeing this new man in their life alot more than you, but remember quality time is better than quantity,,,,,,,and really, children don't forget who their real parents are.
Always keep your word, always be honest with them, and never degrade or verbally abuse the people they are living with. Trust is a must and respect is important. Also, if you can, keep a 'good' relationship with whoever is in your childrens life, because calmness always over rides tension.
2007-12-01 17:01:45 · answer #7 · answered by Susan M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're only shot at getting your ex back is to follow the right steps that will make her ask you to get back together. Learn here https://tr.im/JAss7
Maybe if you broke up with her, then you might be able to be the one who brings up the subject of getting back together. But if you can do it without, it would be much better. But how do you get someone back without seeming desperate? In order to get your ex girlfriend attention, you have to show value without telegraphing your interest in her, while at the same time initiating interaction. So don't ignore your ex texts and calls when they break up with you. It screams that you are so devastated by the breakup that you can't even handle talking to her. You want to respond to her, but do it in the right way. You can even initiate communication if you do it in the right way. You have to maintain a strong frame of confidence, and show your ex girlfriend that your happiness isn't dependent on being with her
2016-04-28 02:27:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex moved in with the man she was cheating on me with. Now, he comes to my two son's sports games and tries to act like he's the dad. I'm not kidding. He cheers louder than anyone else, and makes it a point to be the first person they see is him Me personally, I would NEVER get in the way of someone spending time with their kids. He doesn't seem to see it this way. Comments or suggestions anyone?
2014-09-08 14:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by Mark 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm going through the same thing just be there as much as you can and call and talk to her at 2 she should know you enough to remember you have the ex reinforce who you are to your daughter if she aint bitter about you
2007-12-01 16:54:10 · answer #10 · answered by allouiscious j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2017-03-02 03:28:21 · answer #11 · answered by Preston 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋