I had a fling/relationship with a man who's 22. He's 12 years younger than me. I'm divorcing and i have 2 young children. He's completing his last year of college and comes from another state, but goes to school here. I ended up falling for him hard and scared him away. He ended up calling and saying he just wanted to be friends right now. At first we were still talking and texting, then just texting, and during the past week I have sent him like 8 messages and he is totally avoiding me now. I know that this probably wouldn't turn into something more, but it hurts to be ignored. I would rather him say "leave me alone *****" than to ignore me. I have decided to let him go and go on with my life, but i want to send him one last email letting him know that whatever the reason he's avoiding me, the door is always home to him for friendship etc. my dilemma is, should i let him know the door is open or is that desperate? How would you say it? Am I being too nice after him ignoring me? hel
2007-12-01 16:32:28 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do I feel like i have ot say something to him instead of just not saying anything? I feel so dumb to have fallen for a kid as my friends call him. And for him to still say he still feels uncomfortable about how we met(online adult dating website). Even though we've been out together and get along great, and the sexual connection was wonderful. how do i let him go out of my heart when I still care for him?
2007-12-01 16:35:49 · update #1
Well I really hate this texing thing why cant it be like the good old days and talk face to face. Well the way I did my closure (totally different situation) 3 years passed by, and one day he calls out of the blue and we met. We said everything we needed to say to each other that day. Some guys always need time. Three years is a long time but maybe he wont take that long to call you. Wait give it some time to gather your thoughts and the same for him. Maybe hes crazy about you and hes scared because of the age difference. So give it some time don't email, don't text he will come around. TRUST ME THEY ALWAYS DO.
2007-12-01 17:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by dReaMz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweete Eva pea,
Just move on. What's so hard about it? You stated you had a fling.
If I had a quick fling and someone decides to break it off. I personally wouldn't want to have anythin' with that quick fling. Why stay friends? You will get nothing out of it and soon or later the Hot for other person eventually will die out anyways.
Just say: Sorry to inform you this due to the tremendous amount of pressure from my family. I know it will be hard for you at first, but I believe our quick fling is over. Bye!
2007-12-02 00:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by Dongfeng!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sending him 8 messages without a response is already desperate. I would NOT send him an email. I think you need to grasp on to what little dignity you have left. Since you are going through a divorce, the base answer is to focus on your children because they are going to be going through hell during this time, but speaking from experience, in reality you will have to focus on yourself and by that I am not saying focus on this 22 year old guy. More than likely, he has found someone that is more his age, single, and without children. Let him go. Move on with your life. Realize why you weren't happy with your husband and what made you cheat on him to begin with and DON'T make that mistake again in your future relationships. For some reason, women tend to keep making the same mistakes when chosing men. Go out with the girls, and if you don't have any girl friends, join some kind of group that does things that you like to do. Good luck. (Take care of the kids because they are going through it also. This is my regret through my divorce is that I focused too much on myself and not enough on my son who was 8)
2007-12-02 00:43:17 · answer #3 · answered by Corona 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sound like he just wanted a fling when he was in college now that the semester is over so are all the college ties. It Does hurt to be ignored though, I know I've been down that road. he already gave you an answer to the door be open. by telling you that you can be friends. he was trying to tell you it was over in a nice way.
2007-12-02 01:03:32 · answer #4 · answered by nicko 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip girl and just stop texting calling or any thing give him some time to think,and you take a breather also. He sounds like he is overwhelmed with some things, give him space even though its hard read a book exercise do whatever it takes to keep your mind off of him, continuing to call him will only make him run further away u will appear desperate and needy. Let him come around when he is ready if he doesnt it just wasnt meant to be.
2007-12-02 00:48:36 · answer #5 · answered by cocoa 4 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know it's difficult and I'm so sorry, but you can't force yourself on someone, even if all you want to do is to end things on a positive note and maybe still be friends. He's sending you a message by not responding to you. I think you need to respect that right now.
Jasmine
2007-12-02 00:48:42 · answer #6 · answered by Jazzy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No response from him to your previous messages would indicate that he isn't interested in keeping the door open or a friendship. Find other people to communicate with or other ways to spend your time so you don't look like a stalker. It's less about being nice than it is about recognizing that he has moved on and it is past time for you to do the same.
2007-12-02 00:42:44 · answer #7 · answered by detailgirl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he knows the door is open for him that is why he can avoid you without hesitating. your 34 there is nothing a 22 y/o can do but be about sex and be a 3rd child for you to take care of . sounds like you treated your self to some pleasure and picked up a headache in the process leave him without explanation or invitation you don't need a boy to fill a mans shoes
2007-12-02 00:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by allouiscious j 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well hes 12 years younger than u thats a pretty big gap no offence or anything. tell him that the door is always open for just being friends trust me he'll be in touch soon. my parents r in the middle of a divorce and i'm hating it treasure them 4 ever.
2007-12-02 00:38:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're sounding desperate. He obviously just used you for sex---you should know that a guy 12 years younger is not going to be all that much into you. He's ignoring you because he's not into you----it's easier for him to not respond than to say, "I'm not into you."
2007-12-02 10:19:54 · answer #10 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋