proofread my paragraph please!!!!!!!!!!!!! any suggestions is welcome!!!!!!!!?

Question

Besides control the television with the massive advertisement, the corporations also control the newspapers and internet websites. Newspapers had also changed into a control device for corporations. The more ads in the newspapers, the more money the newspaper company make and the newspapers articles become more like a decorations for the corporations and even the newspaper company. Rather than continue what our founding fathers fought to gain the freedom of press to the United States citizens, newspapers changed over the years “…win readers by entertaining them with photographs, comic strips, sports sections, advice to the lovelorn and stories of sex and crime” (Janda, 171). Mostly of the newspapers consumers only purchase the newspapers not to read the news but to look the entertainment sections like the sports and comic. The Sunday newspapers is the big pay check, most of the corporations invest more money to place their catalogs and advertisement in the newspapers.

Answer 1

Besides controlling television with massive advertisements, corporations also control newspapers and internet websites. Newspapers have changed into a control device for corporations. The more ads in the newspaper, the more money the newspaper company makes. The articles become more like decorations for the advertisements of corporations, and even the newspaper companies themselves. Rather than continue with the spirit of what our founding fathers fought to gain, the freedom of the press for United States citizens, newspapers have changed over the years in order to “…win readers by entertaining them with photographs, comic strips, sports sections, advice to the lovelorn and stories of sex and crime” (Janda, 171). Most of the newspaper consumers only purchase the newspaper to look at the entertainment sections like the sports and comics, rather than read the news. The Sunday newspaper is the big pay check, most of the corporations invest more money to place their catalogs and advertisements into the Sunday newspaper.

It seems as though you are missing a conclusion - possibly one more sentence at the end??
Also - because I don't know your intent with some of your statements I changed as little as possible. Good luck.

Answer 2

Modify the following:

1. Besides controlling ...
2. Remove the before massive advertisement and add s to advertisement --> advertisements.
3. Newspapers have ...
4. Separate "The more the ads in the newspapers.." and "The newspaper articles..." into two sentences.
4. the more money the newspaper company makes..
5. articles become more like decorations (remove a) .. and even for the newspaper company.
6. Rather than continue what our founding fathers fought to gain - the freedom of press, newspapers have changed over the years.
7. Most of the newspaper consumers purchase only the newspapers to view the entertainment sections like sports and comics and not really read the news.
8. The Sunday newspapers are the big paychecks...
9. place their catalogs and advertisements...


Also, try rephrasing some things because most of the time, the words are redundant and the ideas are too.

Answer 3

Besides controlling the impact of television with massive advertisement campaigns, the corporate world also controls other media as well; such as newspaper ads, and the bombardment with "spam" and "pop-ups" on Internet websites. Newspapers have also changed into a mechanism of control for many corporations. The more ads in the newspapers, the more money the newspaper companies garner, making the actual newspapers articles seem more like window dressing for the corporate world and even for the newspapers, themselves. Rather than perpetuating the freedom of press that our founding fathers fought to obtain. "Freedom" to report the news has changed over the years to "making the news" in a frenzied media war to win readers over by entertaining them with photographs, comic strips, sports sections, advice to the lovelorn and stories of sex and crime” (Janda, 171). A large portion of the newspaper-reading consumers purchase the newspapers, not to just read the news, but to look the public interest sections like sports and comics.The Sunday newspapers is the big pay check, with more corporations investing more advertising monies to place their hand-outs and advertisements in the Sunday editions where there is a much greater circulation opportunity for their information.


Interesting paragraph, hope some of the proofing I did is helpful to you. Good luck!

Answer 4

adjust the subsequent: a million. as nicely controlling ... 2. eliminate the faster than large commercial and upload s to commercial --> commercials. 3. Newspapers have ... 4. Separate "the greater the labeled commercials interior the newspapers.." and "The newspaper articles..." into 2 sentences. 4. the further money the newspaper producer makes.. 5. articles grow to be greater like decorations (eliminate a) .. or maybe for the newspaper producer. 6. somewhat than take care of what our founding fathers fought to attain - the liberty of press, newspapers have changed in the process the years. 7. many of the newspaper purchasers acquire best the newspapers to view the excitement sections like actual events and comics and now not somewhat learn the interior music. 8. The Sunday newspapers are the super paychecks... 9. place their catalogs and commercials... additionally, look into rephrasing some concerns on the grounds that particularly, the words are redundant and the strategies are too.

Answer 5

vary word choice

you must have said newspaper like 20 times

and the first sentence is confusing.

Answer 6

umm...what exactly are you trying to say?
Once you've figured that out, try writing it like you would say it in a face-to-face conversation.