my life is going by?

Question

It seemed like yesterday when I turned 13 years old but now this December 5, I'll be turning 19 years old.

I feel so old and dependent. I'm always depending on my mom on everything. If mom isn't there with me, I get anxiety.

Most of people my age have kids, smart, had boyfriends/husband BUT me, I'm just a little slow (retarded that's what I feel), not confident, weird and never had boyfriend.

my life sucks since some people think I'm crazy for seeing me talking to myself. I basically don't have best friend to tell what I'm going through.

I don't want to die, I'm scared of death and also scared of leaving my family.
My happiness is just being away from people since I have social anxiety, I want to stay home and watch movies.

But I can't stay home forever, what's the point of living anyway, is my age suppose to be confusing Or I'm just abnormal girl?

Answer 1

She's right to a selfish to an extent. But really your fighting something quite natural with the mother dynamics, ALOT can be said about that, but really isn't as important as how bad your brow-beating yourself, for actually being better off then most, you foolish, foolish person, your doing FINE!!! Just because your not in some romantic (fantasy) relationship with some stranger doesn't mean your worse off then the rest of the poeple. Realize society is FLAW'D!!! Trying to comform to a flaw'd society is just going to drive you crazy, going to make you miss the real issues here. Which really, amounts to YOU, meeting MORE PEOPLE! Thats it! Your developing GREAT! But you just need more experience with different individuals to get your wings out, so you can fly. So relax, think about a job, colleage, vo-tech, just something to get you moving in a direction and socialize and realizing how f'ed up society is. It's better to be outside looking into it, then on the inside trying to look out, so your starte is the best place, now go out their and slowly live your life!

Also I have an e-mail, your hurting for someone to relate to, their you go, relate to me, trust I will not turn you away.

Answer 2

Death is inevitable. If you are healthy and avoid accidents, you will live another 70 years or longer. When you hit 80 and have brittle bones, no teeth and can't even drive, you will wait for death and not be afraid. You will just live your life knowing your almost done, and be at peace with that. At 19 I am not sure how you feel old but if you don't want to feel dependant, then get a job and move on out. You know how it feels to have a dental appointment? It's going to hurt, it's going to take a long time, my mouth will be fat and numb. Then 24 hours later you look back and think how stupid you were to have so much anxiety over such a silly thing. Life is full of ups and downs, you deal with them and move on. If you don't have friends I would assume it is because maybe you are preoccupied with "what if's" and "wow, i shoulda's" and don't really take the time to listen to another person's problems or life philosphies. Doesn't sound like mom is helping you to be independant either. Take it into your own hands.