I will get married next month to my boyfriend of four years. we have had a long distance relationship and live in Canada and USA. We lived together for four months when I studied in the USA. We always wanted to get married from very early on in the relationship, but decided to wait until my graduation. We are both 27
I trust him with my life
He's my best friend
I admire him so much
He has inspired me to be as kind and generous person as he is
He loved me at my worst
He always offered his support even at the darkest and scariest times (I had a miscarriage, deaths in the family, I was a victim of gun violence targeted specifically because I was a women)
I never want to be with another man for as long as I live
I just want some advice because...In the wedding section its all " registries, showers, flowers, wedding colours..." and I think here, people have a little more experience with what happens after the lust diminishes...
Peace out.
2007-12-01 13:51:40 · 8 answers · asked by lovesapples 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We've discussed so many "married people" things like finances, bank accounts, child care, what areas we are willing to relocate to,,,ect..I think I have realistic expectations....and I am one of those "planning people"
2007-12-01 13:53:21 · update #1
divorce is not in "my back pocket" either. Nobody in my family has ever gotten a divorce. long separations don't really bug me, we actually fell in love when he was away for a deployment, and I would wait for even THIRTY more years if it meant we could be together someday...
2007-12-01 14:14:28 · update #2
Congrats on the upcoming wedding! How wonderful it is to find the one you want to be with for all time. I have no regrets and think marriage is the best thing ever! We got married without divorce in our back pocket. Divorce increasingly seems to always be an "option" - a way out if things don't go as planned. Don't get married if you aren't utterly, completely, entirely sure! Of course there will be roadbumps and hardships, but marriage is supposed to be that one committed relationship where you are always there for each other NO MATTER WHAT. My husband and I are in the military and have endured almost 2 1/2 years of separation. You can let it break you down or build you up, and we chose to let our relationship become stronger through this. That's one of the green flags in relationships - loving and growing in the good times AND bad. It's during the hard times that you find out who you really are. Do not ignore ANY red flags - any serious issues that you think may just go away. They may be early indicators of heartbreak down the road. The first year was not difficult at all for us - it was an absolute blast and keeps getting better and better! My best to you - enjoy the wonders of marriage and treat every day like it may be your last. Time is precious.
2007-12-01 14:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by anc876 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a very good match! What about some pre wedding councelling though - something I wish I had done. Also with the child care bit - you might find that after having a baby that you might want to be a stay at home Mom for a few years and I would ask if he was fine with that too. Other than that - know his family well as he they are the people who shaped him to be the man he is. He will treat you exactly as he has seen his Dad treated his Mom - well maybe not but make sure he treats his Mom nicely.
2007-12-01 22:00:26 · answer #2 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few words of advice.
Never fight by using insults and name-calling.
Don't make threats or ultimatums, if you don't ...I will...for example.
Keeping the romance alive is important, and it is hard work.
Be willing to give 100% and hope he only asks for 50.
Discuss your feelings with him without accusing, rather than bottling things up.
Get a good book on relationships in marriage and read it together. There are many techniques for resolving conflict if both people are willing to try.
Good luck
2007-12-01 22:08:32 · answer #3 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you the same advice my grandma gave me when I got married. She has been married for 50+ years. She said,"Honey, falling in the love is the easy part, staying in love is the hard part. Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever have to do it your life. You will fall in and out of like with each other but in a marriage that lasts you will always LOVE each other. "
Best advice i've ever gotten...good luck and congrats.
2007-12-01 22:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That having children will really put a lot of stress on your relationship. Being a mom really took up a lot of my time and I think he hated not being number one.
Thank goodness kids become less dependent as they grow older.
It would have been really easy to divorce when they were little.
2007-12-01 21:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by cashew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That at some point he will get bored with you just like all the other stupid guys in these chat rooms and he will dump you for a younger model. Think about it have you ever read or heard a guy that said he really loved his wife, that she was his everything, etc. All I ever hear out of mens mouths is how awful their woman is and how he wants to f--k someone else
2007-12-01 21:57:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I just lost my wife to cancer today and I was wondering what made us such great partners and i remembered I looked at her and said 25 years from now will I still love this person and the ans was YES and that's all i neede to know
2007-12-01 21:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I want to say that the first year is ALWAYS the hardest... Remember that.. Hard hard hard.. You think you know but you don't.. It's hard hard hard...
Congrats!!!
2007-12-01 22:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by Can't stand this 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋