does this sound like an alcoholic..my husband of 8 years never drank..all of a sudden the past 5 months he has been drinking maybe 3x a week..he gets blasted. i told him i do not want alcohol in the house, because it is not healthey for my 5 and 6 year old to see. Sometimes he is drunk and I asked why he is drinking with the kids in the house and he lies and says he did not drink..even though it is obvious.
Tonight around 5pm, i saw him going to the garage and i followed behind him..because i had a feeling that he was drinking and he pulled out a bottle and started drinking..so now he is hiding his liquor.
i did experience some bad episodes in the summer..one time he cursed me out calling me a piece of **** and slaming cabinets for about an hour (kids were asleep) ...If he is lying to me about drinking, how can I trust him..I also work nights and one time, my son called me up, because his dad was asleep and wouldn't wake up..he was drunk! Does it sound like he is an alcoholic
2007-12-01 13:36:23 · 24 answers · asked by josiejo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I SHOULD ADD ON THAT NOTHING HAS CHANGED IN THE PAST 5 MONTHS, EXCEPT HE STARTED HAVING ANGER ISSUES AND WE TRIED MARRIAGE COUNSELING, BUT HE DOSEN'T OPEN UP.. SO THAT DID NOT WORK..HE AGREED TO GO ON DEPRESSION MEDICINE CYMBOLTA..AND THAT IS NOT WORKING EITHER..I HAVE THREATNED TO LEAVE HIM , ESPECIALLY WHEN I COME HOME AND SMELL LIQUOR ON HIS BREATH, AND HE IS ALONE WITH THE KIDS...BUT THE SAGA CONTINUES.
2007-12-01 13:49:22 · update #1
YES maybe if you gave him more lovin he wouldn't have to drink so much.
2007-12-01 13:47:53 · answer #1 · answered by dirty s 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
An alcoholic DOES NOT HAVE TO DRINK EVERYDAY. As a recovering alcoholic, I have met people who drank only on weekends, drank once a week, only a few times a month. Only your husband can decide whether or not he is an alcoholic, but based on your observations, he is exhibiting many 'common sypmtoms'
-His not curbing his drinking at your request
-His lack of responsibility especially concerning your children and your marital relationship
-Attempts to hide his drinking behavior
-The duration of his drinking
Remember it's not the quantity or number of times he drinks it's the consequences and reasons for his drinking. Is he avoiding confronting a person or situation? Has a tragedy recently occurred? Talk to him about it.
Also note that SO MANY alcoholics are misdiagnosed with depression, bipolarity, etc. by therapist and psychologist before the real malady is discovered.
Communication is the key, but if you feel uncomfortable with this seek out a therapist (and specifically mention your alcohol concerns), or even step into an Al-Anon meeting, in only 1 hour you can make some huge decisions.
Again do not put words into his mouth- you cannot label him an alcoholic, it's on him.
If this is really damaging your life and your children's lives you may need to make some immediate choices.
2007-12-02 16:42:32 · answer #2 · answered by Hello There 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is not uncommon for any individual to have a tumbler of wine with dinner each night time, however to drink three glasses daily after paintings means that it's extra a addiction than a first-class style with meals. That he beverages plenty extra on weekends would possibly imply he has misplaced, or is wasting, manipulate of his ingesting. You ought to insist that he quit ingesting to get buzzed. My bet is that he will withstand and say he does not have a main issue, this means that YOU have a main issue. If he refuses to quit or decrease, make a choice to a neighborhood rehab hospital or Alcoholics Anonymous to invite for official recommendation. If he's an alcoholic, I desire you good, however you're in for a few complex occasions forward.
2016-09-05 18:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by swindell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he isn't an alcoholic, something is very wrong. If he never drank for years and now all of a sudden he is drinking and lieing, he may have been a reformed alcoholic when you met him, but now something has happened to change things. There could be many reasons, but you need to find out why. It could be trouble at his place of employment, a health issue he has no told you about, an affair he feels guilty over, accumulated stress and unhappiness....whatever it is, you need to sit down with him and discuss it calmly. Tell him you are concerned about him, and need to know why his behavior has changed. Try to be calm and focus on how it is effecting you, rather than on blaming him. If that doesn't work, go to a counselor for advice.
2007-12-01 13:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It does sound like he has a drinking problem. What has happened in the past five months that has changed? Go to counseling and seek help from Alcoholics Anonymous. Hiding the fact that he is drinking is not a good sign
2007-12-01 13:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by Beatrice C 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hi, I am on the computer right now trying to find out about an alcholic husband too. My husband does the same thing, except his is beer. He has lied to me and my children for so many years now. He also lies about everything else in the world too. I am contemplating leaving him too. Yes, your husband is an alcoholic. My husband just enrolled himself into an out patient rehab., but I don't even think that it will work. I look at it as false hope. If you need somebody to talk to outside your situation, but somebody who understands- feel free to email me at kelliemag@yahoo.com. Wondering where the trust has gone and when it will be back is so hard. In my situation, I don't know if I will ever find it again.
2007-12-01 14:03:40 · answer #6 · answered by kelliemag 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he is an alcoholic to me, and I have known several in my lifetime.
If you can get him to go to your local AA meetings (that's Alcoholics Anonymous), then do so. Maybe he will go, maybe he won't. But he won't like you trying to force him.
And you should find a meeting of AL ANON that's a 12 Step group for family and friends of people with a drinking problem. They will help you to understand his disease, and you will find people there who really care.
Ask your phone operator for the AA number, phone the duty guy (an unpaid volunteer) and he/she will look up the nearest meeting place for you to go to. He/she may also know where Al Anon is, if the phone operator cannot help. But then there's the Internet...
If you go to your local AA meeting, they will have a copies of the Big Book for sale for a few dollars. Buy a copy, take it home and read it. There is very good advice in there from alcoholics who have stopped drinking through following the AA 12 Steps program.
Be warned! It is very common for alcoholics to lose their marriage, their home, their job and their self-respect before they are humbled enough to seek help. You cannot force him to do the program, that doesn't work.
I sincerely wish you the best outcome for you and your kids... and also for your hubby.
2007-12-01 14:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by gedanate 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well this sounds like my house! (im a kid though) my mom and dad fight often and my whole family are alcoholics or just like to drink...But you just get used to it... Well i did anyways but im the kid.. so well thats my life in a nutshell. Its pretty ******* halirous...
** note im not saying there drunk all the time.
Oh and im 15 so dont call the POLICE ON ME thinking im like a 11 year old or anything.
Oh just try to be calm around him and dont yell at him or make him mad when he is drunk. you should try to talk to him ask him whats wrong. Sorry to say this but your kids probbley already know whats going on. i realized this stuff when i was 5 and 6
2007-12-01 14:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
www.aamaine.org it sounds very much lik he is an alcoholic..dont handle this on your own. go out and get lots of info try going to an a.a. meeting to get suggestions.you dont "have" to be an alcoholic to go.the web site will help. it doesnt matter how much or how many times a week you drink.its what happens when you drink that determines if you might have a problem. DO NOT TRY TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS WHILE HE IS DRINKING!
2007-12-01 13:57:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'll be honest with you, just because a person drinks three times a week doesn't make him an alcoholic. There must be something bothering your husband that driving him to drink to forget his problem(s). Your right about one thing he should not drink around the kids. He is setting a bad example. Feel free to email me at rfl_slzr@yahoo.com. Good Luck.
2007-12-01 13:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by Rafa 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
He IS. I lived with one for 5yrs. He would hide the bottles. I would have to go threw everything to find it and poor it out. It will tear your family apart. They think that they are not hurting no one but themself, but your childern will be hurt. If he is not willing to get help, it wont matter what you say, how much you cry,it is a battle you can not win. You will wear yourself out and unless he seeks it, it wont change.Been there. They have to hit the bottom before they understand,it could be a while.Sorry, for you&the kids. Its hard.
2007-12-01 15:13:24 · answer #11 · answered by beebee 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋