We've been married 14years, and its boring as hell! She won't go anywhre,do anything, have fun,sexX2 monthly(boring). Its all about her 2 adult dead beat kids, they are grown(not really), but at least not home should I stay or GO enjoy the rest of my years?????
2007-12-01 13:34:39 · 47 answers · asked by happywjc 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do what makes you happy!
2007-12-01 13:37:22 · answer #1 · answered by Brandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first give it your best shot not that you haven't all these years but some how things got pushed on the back burner here . Now that the kids are grown she can't say she's to busy with the children. ( an accuse anyways) plenty of people have kids and can be happily married and still fullfilled with that being said.
Try discussing this with her. Let her know that you are missing important things in your life with her that matter very much to you. Think over what you want to say to her pick out the important things you feel need to change and sit her down for a serious talk. See how she responds if she's still giving you a 101 other reasons then she's not willing to change nor hear what your saying and for her its not as important.
ONce you have decided you know she won't change or try to meet you half way . then you will have to decide as you say do you want to spend the short years you have left this way or be out on your own and have a life again. Your call only you know how strong you are and what you need in life.
good luck either way.
2007-12-01 19:20:45 · answer #2 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what are you doing to try to improve the situation?
I hear a lot of complaints about her, but as they say, it takes 2 to tango.
Perhaps she's not feeling particularly desired by you, so she doesn't feel like going out or doing any thing else.
If she worries about her kids, whether they are grown or not, they are always her kids, she could be really stressed and or depressed and needs some help.
Do you still love her?
If so than you should explore some counseling for the both of you. Either as a couple or individually or both to try and figure out if you can make things work or go your separate ways.
2007-12-01 13:44:43 · answer #3 · answered by GambitGrrl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to her about this? Sounds to me like you're frustrated as hell and you're wanting to get out and enjoy life. There's nothing wrong with that - but you need to find out what's up with your wife..... only when you know that, then maybe you can start to repair it. Not only that - but if you are telling her that her kids are "dead beats" then I'm sure that wouldn't help the situation.....
By the way, I'm sick of so many losers advising people to take the easy way out and leave.... friggin cowards. Do some work - marriage isn't meant to be easy. My husband and I have our moments... but every time we do - we make an effort to get through them!! THOSE things make your marriage stronger. Divorce is too easy and accessible. Harden up - not just you, but all those people that don't realise that marriage is a COMMITMENT!!! Why get married in the first place if you are just going to walk away when the going gets tough or boring?!
I hope you work it out... good luck :)
2007-12-01 13:39:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would leave. Unless you want to talk to her. Truly. What are her hobbies? Maybe she loves to travel... take her to Vegas, that's such a sexy city. She is probably as bored as you. Maybe you should accidentally pop in some porn before bedtime... or buy her a little toy... she might like it. Maybe you need to romance her a little, because girls just like that! Flowers and candlelit dinners and love notes tucked here and there. Now that the kids are grown, maybe you need to act like the lovers that you were when you first met. When couples get in a rut like this, they need to infuse some energy,excitement, and new experiences in the relationship to get it going again. Be childlike. Be sweet. Remember that inside she is still the young woman you married all those years ago. If she's still indifferent, then pack your bags.
2007-12-01 13:53:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds way too familiar, are you having a mid life crisis?
You know what, hate to disappoint you but she may be just as bored as you are. Maybe she just likes to relax after a long day. Does she have a stressful job or work long hours. If you talk to her the way you are talking to us about her I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to do anything with you.
You ***** about sex only twice a month but then say its boring so why would you want more?
Why are guys always putting down their mates and thinking they are the most wonderful creatures on earth.
If you would treat her with the love and respect that is due her maybe you would have a better relationship. Go be miserable by yourself. I'm sure she will breathe better.
2007-12-01 13:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
why dont you try **nicely** telling her that you dont think your marriage is going well. Tell her that you need her attention and dont feel loved and that once in a while you would like to so things other than staying home tell her you want to have sex and arent turned on anymore. Tell her shes not the woman you married. Maybe you could try going to marriage counselor that would be a good idea. And remember if you tell her all these things you HAVE TO be nice about it or it could COMPLETELY ruin your marriage and you dont want to do that you just want to spicen it up a lot. If she refuses to do any of this than i would suggest leaving and finding someone who does do things or just enjoy life by yourself.
I hope this helped
Goodd Luckk!!
2007-12-01 13:41:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about taking a weeklong vacation together, just the two of you. Tell her to leave talking about the two kids at home. It is time to focus on only you two.
During your vacation you can bring up your needs in a nice way.
If this doesn't shake things up, then you might need to be more blunt. Lay it out plain and simple. If things don't change then tell her you'll be heading out on your own.
I know you are frustrated, but try to start on a positive note.
2007-12-01 13:51:27 · answer #8 · answered by cashew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave. her kids sound like my step kids (adult children). if they haven't grown up yet they never will, and it don't help what your wife is doing to her kids. whats going to happen when she's not around any more. they will not know how to do anything for themselves. and if it's all about her kids it don't sound like it's going to change. if she won't go anywhere or have any fun then you need to leave go enjoy life to the fullest. it's the only life you'll ever have. i was married for 17 yrs before i smarted up and now i'm married to a great guy and we do so much together and have so much fun i get to be my goofy self with my husband.
2007-12-01 14:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by yak4the8car 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have you talked actually sit down with your wife? might be SHE is just as boring as you are? why did you love her in the first place? can you remember why wait for her, why don't you take the first step and surprise her, she might think the same way about you, TALK! don't trow away all those years you got something special here... keep it special don't become a bad example,... is it really all her fault? or did you have some input in that yourselves to? so think of something you want and present that to her ( so what you want from her give that to her ) you would be surprised what you get keep us informed.. x
2007-12-01 13:41:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you don't love her anymore tell her let her know how you feel. If both of you feel the same then my advice is get a divorce. There is no reason you should stay in an unhappy unfulfilled marriage.
2007-12-01 13:41:08 · answer #11 · answered by estep3980 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋