Libido, stress, insomnia or what?

Question

Can anyone help? I've been with my fiance 2 years and our sex life was great the first 6 months, then slowed down, now non-existent (my fault). I still love him to bits and fancy him but got 0% desire. Sometimes get the desire but when it gets to the nitty gritty get scared off again. Mostly just feel knackered but I can happily stay awake on my PC (as now) but don't have the energy to do the bizz. I am a heavy drinker and never get enough sleep. Hate going to bed for some reason, put it off and off no matter how tired I am and always wake up during the night and early morning. Also a self confessed stress-head. I've checked out websites on low libido but generally they refer to men (impotence) or to women (perimenapausal or post baby). I'm 33 and supposed to be in my peak, is it the lack of sleep, the alcohol or what? Any suggestions most appreciated! Thanx

Thanx 4 your replies - maybe it would help if I tel u I have had lack of libido wiv previous b/f's and i'm not on the pill (doesn't agree with me so haven't taken it for 14 years)

Answer 1

Alcohol is a depressant, and also will diminish the sex drive. Stress can affect your hormone levels which can inhibit the desire for sex.
Read this article from medicine.net.com:

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=78172

And here is another article about lowered sex drive:
http://www.increasesexdrive.com/women.html

Hope they shed some light on your problem.

Answer 2

Really think about it. Could it be that you are really just not sexually attracted to him anymore? You say you love him but don't want to go to bed with him that sounds to me like lack of attraction towards him. You guys should be having sex all the time. I don't think its from the drinking or lack of sleep or even low libido. I would have to say deep down there is something wrong with the relationship and that's your way of covering up your true feelings. Try to spice things up in the bedroom , see if that works. Other than that i would say don't get married until this issue is resolved. A sex less marriage is awful, take it from me my hubby usually had no desire and all that did was hurt me and my feelings. Him and i just split up after 10 years of marriage and it stinks. Good luck and look deep into your heart and figure out whats wrong.

Answer 3

Try cutting back on the alcohol and you may find that it helps two of your problems - the libido and the sleep. Alcohol interrupts sleep so that even if you were sleeping 8 hours, it wouldn't count as 8 hours. Also think about any prescription drugs you may be taking... are you on the pill (BC)? I had low libido for years until I stopped taking the pill. Are there any psychological reasons why you are shying away? Take a close look at everything and good luck.