My daddy sent me to boarding school this year, far away from home, oh about 600 miles I guess, so I can't come home on weekends. However, one of my friends at school lives only 45 minutes away and goes home most weekends and she and her parents invite me over a lot ..4 times already. It is nice of them because it can be so boring at school on the weekend and school's in the middle of nowhere and they don't let us do much and the kids that stay there wind up getting in trouble. But anyways, my friend's family is a nice family and I am getting positive role models with them and at school, for a change as my former school disgusted me. Since I am 16 and really have very little money, should I do something to repay this rather extreme generosity? same goes for the dorm mother at school, she has been very nice to me as well, listens to my problems without judging me during the week. Anyways should I do something to repay her rather extreme generosity as well?
Thank you and good day.
2007-12-01 13:26:36 · 40 answers · asked by Lori 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
SKCali - my daddy sent me to the boarding school because he is a single parent and has to travel a lot for work, especially sometimes overseas for a long time to countries that treat women worse than dogs. Last year, I was unsupervised a lot or with my older brother or another friends parents near home and it did not go too well.
2007-12-01 13:56:31 · update #1
I was in this situation a lot in H.S. I was at boarding school 1,500 miles away from home, but was one of the poorest ones there, amidst nearly two hundred very well-off kids. As part of the school, each of us had a "family away from home" in the local community that would do things with us on the weekeneds.
It was disconcerting at first, since I always felt like there was nothing I could do financially to show my appreciation.
It took me awhile to realize that, at 16, I was not expected to show my respect with gifts, but with attention to the effort they made on my behalf. This may have meant helping with the dishes or washing up while I was at their house, or even inviting them to visit me and my family when I was home during summer breaks. Even if you can't help with travel costs, the invitation will mean a lot to them. If nothing else, tell them what you said here. It is enough to know sometimes that they are making a difference in your life.
They are inviting you into their home as a friend of their daughter, and therefore as a sort of an appendate member of the family. They seem like very kind people who are genuinely interested in learning about others- returning the favor to them will mean the world.
2007-12-01 13:39:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I was young, I, too, always wanted to "pay people back" for whatever nice thing they did for me.
Lately, I've learned to accept gifts and kindness without feeling that I "owe" them anything. The best way you can "pay them back" is by just being a true friend and being there when they are hurting, which will happen one day.
Having said this, it would be appropriate to get a small gift if you wish. It would be better received if it meant something personally to them based on what you know about them, rather than trying to spend a lot of money, which it sounds like you don't have anyway. The best gift of all might be very nice, thoughtful letters telling them how much they mean to you.
You are very blessed to have such people in your life.
2007-12-01 13:36:43 · answer #2 · answered by David H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should always think of the ones that are there for you and help you. They will understand that you are a child and have little money for gifts. But like the old saying goes... It's the thought that counts. And it really is! Just go out of your way and do something extra nice for them. Can you/ are you able to cook? If so make them a small baked good. Like apple, pumpkin, or banana bread. If you can't do that them why not make them something on the computer? Maybe print out a picture of you and write something simple at the bottom, maybe a quote, then frame it. That way they will remember your gratefulness every time they see the picture.
2007-12-01 13:35:57 · answer #3 · answered by greenrose1922 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you like to cook? Bake? Or just offer your appreciation by actually bringing up the fact in conversation just how much you appreciate their generosity and that you "wish" you could repay them...maybe they'll say well as a matter of fact I need help with this or that... but really, just mentioning your appreciation goes a very long way when people often forget to just say thankyou...BTW, holiday cards are a great idea too.
2007-12-01 13:35:30 · answer #4 · answered by sunoverla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is write them a letter. Tell them each how much their kindness and support means to you. I don't think you need to buy them anything....no amount of money can repay love and support. You seem to have a very grateful heart and I think that you will write a good letter that will relay your gratefulness . Hold on to these people...they are true family and friends and will get you through the tough times. Hope you have a blessed Christmas!
2007-12-01 13:33:03 · answer #5 · answered by Shonda G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww, that is so sweet! The best gift you give them is to continue to be grateful for their hospitality. Help out around the house and never disrespect or disrupt their trust they are developing for you. The same with your Dorm Mother....do the right thing. You could also write them a letter or make them a card that expresses your feelings. They would appreciate that. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-12-01 13:32:34 · answer #6 · answered by M E 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think giving something made by you for Christmas would be more than money could buy. Write them a handwritten letter on how much you appreciate them and why along with something small and creative made mostly by you. Those are the gifts that actually mean the most. It's not the money but the thought and time you put into it.
2007-12-01 13:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by celestial-zen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How mature and sweet of you to recognize their kindness, I think a simple thank you card with some words from the heart is better than anything you could actually buy them. And if not a card just a letter telling them how you really appreciate what they do for you. You seem well spoken and I am sure the words will come naturally. Good luck to you.
2007-12-01 13:31:10 · answer #8 · answered by fatima_mst 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would Lori. But remember, gifts don't have to be material. They can be as simple as a sweet card.
Ooh! I just got an idea for the dorm mother! Make her a sweet card and end it with: if I could, I would give you one hundred kisses for everything you've done for me. Wrap a box with one hundred Hershey's kisses. One hundred kisses for everything she's done for you!
And for your friend's family, maybe give them similar gifts to that of the dorm mother. Gifts that say that you care without running out of money. How about this: take a ton of pictures at their house of them and their family. And the house. Get them developed and buy an album that will hold them all. Put the album together and make a nice card to go with it. What do you think?
Hope I've helped, Lori!
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2007-12-02 04:36:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would write them a very heartfelt card saying what you just did and make them something...like an art project (clay bowl, picture frame) or some food item (candy or cookies). You sound like a grateful and polite young lady! They would probably really appreciate you taking the time to write them how much it means to you that they allow you to come to their house/listen to your problems. And hand write them too, a nice touch :) This will be MORE than appropriate. Have a great holiday.
2007-12-01 13:32:25 · answer #10 · answered by Jules, E, and Liam :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋