ok we have been together over a year and lived together 6 months and been engaged 7 months, ok so for the last 3 months he has been the WORLDS BIGGEST JERK!!!! he doesnt do anything sweet like he use to we hadly have sex anymore like 1 or 2 times a week! we fight constantly liek today i asked where we where going, and he got mad and took us home, and he has been fighting me on this one thing that he lies about all the time (hes addicted to looking at girls on the net- he was addicted to porn) he a great provider secne i am in school and dont have a job but with my loans i do pay most of the bills he just covers the ones i cant liek food and time worner cable/internet/phone. i just dont no why he has become a big jerk, he tells me to shut up and **** off all the time and if i dont do what he wants he gets mad like one day he through some trach in the trunk of my car well i came by behind him and picked it up (i didnt say anything or have an attitude) i just picked it up and went about
2007-12-01 12:49:42 · 22 answers · asked by Mrs T. 2009 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my bussiness but he got so mad that when it came time to leave he would get up! and before comeing in the house he just yelled how he doesnt do anything right! i dont no whats going on! help
2007-12-01 12:50:58 · update #1
just consider him a room=mate for the time being...have no expectations...you'll be happy, and he WILL come around...
2007-12-01 12:58:00 · answer #1 · answered by John[nottheapostle] 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He was on his best behavior while he was trying to get close to you and then he didn't think it necessary to put on a show any longer. You need to dump this guy, especially since you are in school because once you finish you will find a better person in whatever field you go into. In the meantime, drop the cable and just keep your internet and phone and watch your other expenses until you finish school. He should be paying half the bills if you are living together and you can rise the security level on the computer so that he can't go to sites you wouldn't show a child. Good Luck to you!!
2007-12-01 21:17:40 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girrrrrllllll !!! WHY are you still there?
wow .. he has been bad to you.
He needs a huge attitude adjustment.
However - this could be red-flags to you .. to show you what you could get more of in the future.
The bad part is .. that if he has done these things .. then he has the qualities of a real jerk inside of him .... and -they-will-always-be-there-inside-of -him ... even when he gets nice ... the jerk will always be there.
If you take it .. he won't respect you .. and will do it more .. if he wants to.
It will be hard & difficult .. but if it were me, I would get his attention in a big way .. and let him know that his actions are unacceptable -- and that there is absolutely NO WAY that I would put up with him doing any of those things.
Do you want more of the same? It sounds like it could be in your future .. well .. actually, it is in your now.
Kick him to the curb .. if he loves you, he will get you back and straighten up. If he doesn't .. he won't.
Just know .. you will need to be able to handle this if you do it.
You have a choice to either stay there & take his abuse ... or to move on with hopes of straightening him out.
Best of luck to you .. you will need it.
2007-12-01 20:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't know him well enough to move in and now you have learned a valuable lesson. Some men (and women too) change as soon as they make a committment, usually after marriage. They start to feel trapped, or resentful, and often do a complete about face becoming hateful or aloof. That is evidently what your bf has done, and you are lucky to have found out before you married him. I doubt this is going to change, but have a talk with him and tell him you feel that he no longer behaves as if he cares for you. If there is no change, make your exit.
2007-12-01 21:02:09 · answer #4 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL, he hasn't changed, what he has done is shed the facade' (fake) person he was in order to "win" your heart. You're engaged now, he has to work less to win you over so he is going back to being the actual person he really is. Take this dose of reality as things that are to come during your marriage IF you get married and decide whether you can tolerate him as he is NOW for the rest of your lives or not...if the answer is "no" give him back the ring, pack up and leave...
2007-12-01 20:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever u do don't marry this man, if he is treating u this bad before the marriage, what will it be with marriage. also your covering most of the bills. with your loans he is living well, and using u. he may also be seeing someone else, when men are cheating on u they show disrespect, treat u like crap, and don't seem to love u anymore. he is probably cheating on u but isn't ready to leave the relationship yet.
2007-12-01 20:58:02 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we only get to hear half the story, lord knows whats going on thru his mind,.
if hes looking on the net etc etc,.. he might not be attracted to you?
but i more so agree with the above seems like u didnt know him well enought to move in with him,,
sit down have a chat, if he/u cant sit down and have a chat then u got problems,. try a few times if nothing can be talked about then call it a day and move out,. if its still rocky then end it,.
2007-12-01 21:07:35 · answer #7 · answered by v f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, take your time (and perhaps long breaths) to calm down.
Then, thank God you are only engaged, and dump him as early as possible.
Last, but not the least, work on your self esteem. You deserve a more meaningful and enjoyable life.
Don't ever expect anyone not to change with time, including yourself. Not to change would NOT be a sign of life. Only deal with people who change for BETTER.
2007-12-01 20:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's time to kick him to the curb hon. No one and I mean no one deserves to be treated like that. Be thankful you're not married to him yet. It sounds like he's becoming abusive more and more. get out and don't look back. Abusive behavior just gets worse and worse as time goes by. Get out while you can before it gets worse.
2007-12-01 21:01:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move.
Move out. Move on with your life.
He is not man enough to tell you he no longer wants to marry you -- OR he is showing you exactly how your life will be if you marry him.
Leave now, while you still have some dignity.
2007-12-01 20:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by kelannde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not married yet so just start looking for your finacal best way to end this relationship. If he canged after engaging it will get worse if married.
2007-12-01 21:29:39 · answer #11 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋