my boyfriend wants to get married and i want to also. but i want to have thing workout like its suppose to get a house, get married, then have some kids. am i wrong because i dont wanta be like most that have kids then get married then looking for a house?
2007-12-01 12:30:34 · 15 answers · asked by mrsgibson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most get married, get house then have kids...But, everyone is different.....
2007-12-01 12:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you about the kids, wait til marriage to have them, but on the house thing, I think not, I think that you should be closing around the same time, like the week after if possible but not a moment before! You don't want that type of contract imposed on the relationship prior to saying I do. Because if whatever reason it doesn't go thru you willl have a mess on your hands! Believe it or not , alot of people bail the day of bc of how the bachelor party went.
2007-12-01 13:22:25 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always thought you should be married before you get a house. And married before you have kids but after you buy a house. In a perfect world anyway.
2007-12-01 13:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by Blue Love Aura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The right way eh? I think that getting pregnant is not a prerequisite for getting married. Nor is home ownership. Those are social values that have been imposed on most of us. It is important though, that you and your boyfriend discuss why each of you want to marry. What expectations does he have from a marriage, and yours too. How will the budget be managed? How will the incomes be distributed. Will he want to be the final decision. I find that couples who have three bank accounts have less economic expectations from each other. A bank account only for him, a bank account that both of you can access for the provisions demanded by your home, and your bank account which only you have access to, and for which you do not have to be accountable to him. If there is a large difference in incomes, then the budget has to be determined by what each feels is a fair contribution. Our home account is provided by equal contributions that are acceptable to both of us. If either of you are uncomfortable with the idea of maintaining a degree of autonomy by both of you, you need to discuss that. Pre marital counseling is actually not a bad idea. But go to a female. Males have a tendency to gang up on a female.
2007-12-01 12:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy your marriage and buy a house before having children. Your way actually allows for you and your boyfriend to enjoy your newlywed days without the distractions that children necessarily cause. It is also much easier to save money toward the down payment on a house before you have children and must meet the expenses that are required in order to care for them properly.
2007-12-01 12:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by detailgirl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do it the right way. You are on track. You have plenty of time for kids. Get a house and get on your feet. Then have kids when you are better able to support them and buy them all that they need.
2007-12-01 12:37:34 · answer #6 · answered by docC 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have the kids first, then you will never get marry, I say married first.
2007-12-01 12:54:06 · answer #7 · answered by dbrh_soto 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you are on the right track-the way God designed life-I would say its likely you guys will have a successful marriage and stable family. Sure wish I was as wise as you in times gone.
2007-12-01 12:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by angelvic_83 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is great to plan that way, but just remember life does't always work out like we hope it will....if you find an awsome house before you get married, buy it!
2007-12-01 12:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by smp0404 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My sweetiepie wanted it like that but I had to let him know that any man can be a baby's daddy but how many can be a father and respect their woman enough to ask for a perminant committment and then ask for children.
2007-12-01 12:43:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋