so this is the situation-my husband says 'i want a divorce,' he leaves the house on a very abusive note-ok, i wait until he files the papers, they never come, im left with all the bills and two daughters. then he comes to the house 2 months later to 'see our girls' @ 10 pm! my girls want to see their dad, so if im not 'civil and forgiving' they wont see their dad, and he wont come see them! I dont want this anymore, i want to move on. Yet, Im always allowing him in the door... I hate this. I tell him that we are no longer husband and wife. I have no money to file for divorce, nor a job. Uhh, im drowning, i need a way out of this, what am i going to do? My mother is paying my bills, I believe its my responsibility. I want to find out what am i doing wrong? How do I shift this toward my new beginning? Why do I have to accept my spouce's ways in order for him to see his girls w/out my comprimising my happiness? im so unhappy......
2007-12-01 12:17:04 · 5 answers · asked by Im_Raised_Again@Yahoo.com 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bless your darling heart.And it's a hard time of year for a lot of people,too.I would suggest,mildly,that you step back,take a deep breath emotionally and see where you want to be in a month.Don't set long term goals.And,by the way,the voice of experience says his late visits are for one of or both reasons.He wants to be sure you are at home,alone and miserable and he wants to maintain control.I pray that you and your daughters find you're way out of this and thank God for your mom.
2007-12-01 12:33:38 · answer #1 · answered by do not need a babysitter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure this is a very painful time for you. You need to get on with your own life regardless of you husbands unpleasant actions.The best thing to do now is find a way to get a job. Gaining independence requires that you earn a living for yourself. Divorce doesn't have to be costly for you to do it. A court will set up visitation an child support payments.
2007-12-01 12:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by morris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By hook or by crook you get a lawyer...and then you file for physical custody,child support and maintenance which is owed to you until you are self supporting...which means a job.
Have an order of visitation set up by family court...no more of this 10 pm nonsense...if he really wants to see the girls he'll abide by it,not try to make you the scapegoat when he falls short on seeing his girls........and if he doesn't see them, it's his problem for he too must be civil and forgiving. You're enabling him in his nonsense.....
2007-12-01 12:30:48 · answer #3 · answered by The Original GarnetGlitter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you know, you need a job. And save your money if possible, and get an attorney. Keep a record of all of your expenses house payment, lights, gas ect. attorney will fight for all that money you are out of and child support for the months he has been gone. Hopefully you can get the money fast before everything goes any farther. Good Luck!!!
2007-12-01 12:29:45 · answer #4 · answered by zoey1176 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job!
You cannot do anything until you get the divorce. With a crazy man like that, you will need an attorney.
Good luck.
2007-12-01 12:20:41 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋