Why cant I forget after all these years? Is it Guilt?

Question

I am normally a strong person and can get over most things and move on, but there is one small issue that seems to dog me and I dont know what to do about it. I went out with a girl from age 13 to age 19, and I loved her very much, but we broke up and moved on. I have had many girlfriends since, and have been married for 19 years, and she is married with a family too. The problem is I still have dreams about walking along the beach with her and stuff like that, and even though the last time I saw her was 15 years ago, I am always looking out for her at the mall and such, hoping to see her again. Dont get me wrong, I love my wife, and would never go back with this other girl. I believe somehow that she was my soulmate, but I took her for granted because I was young and naive about how to treat people , as I matured I have learned how wrong I was and have changed my ways, sometimes I wish I could just apologise for the way I treated her, and that would at least be a load of my mind.

Answer 1

Here is my suggestion...

get the girls address... and sit down.. and compose a letter.. give is a lot of thought.. wait a week read the letter,, make corrections.. wait a week.. then the first of the year, as Ur new years resolution.. u are gonna put this to rest and put it in the past..

write the lady,, telling her Ur true feelings .. get everything off Ur chest..tell how much u loved her.. and how u dream of her..
and that u are married..
U need to tell Ur wife u are doing this .. not the whole story but that u are doing some soul searching..

once the letter is like u want it.. mail it..

then come new years.. it becomes history.. !!!!!!

U will have corrected any wrongs u did or said to the girl.. U heart will be lighter,, u will not bear the burden and guilt any longer... and it is alot of guilt.. u are carring or known as baggage.. it may be several months before u feel the lighter heart...

if she writes or calls u once she gets the letter..
u need to have Ur head in the right place..
and tell her.. u no longer love her,
u are married,, no meeting up..
STAND UR GROUND, AND UR LOYALTY TO UR WIFE..

if u never hear from her.. be at peace.. U have done Ur part..and God will no Ur heart was in good spirits..
good luck, happy holidays.

Answer 2

Yes, it sounds like guilt. And it is your burden. You'll carry it for as long as you want to. Sometimes things are better off left alone, and this might be one of those times. Most people have burdens in their lives that they wish they could have changed or apologized for, but you might need to forgive yourself of the actions you took so many years ago. I'm sure they have been forgotten and forgiven by the person you are speaking about.

Have you ever talked about it all with anyone? Besides here? Maybe if you did it might come into a different perspective for you. I don't know.......I'll pray for you though.......