How long do you bite your tongue? How many times to do you have to be in a onesided arguement when you have no idea what the F*** he's mad about? How many time do I have to be called names? And why do I have to be the one who makes up and resolve the problems? Why does he never apologize? Why me? ~cry~
2007-12-01 11:33:27 · 17 answers · asked by mrslewis1123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
but heres some details.....weve been married for 6 years...young too..imma 25 hes 26....hes a military man...and when he came home i used to be the verbal abuser until one day i saw what i was doing that was years ago......but now he feels that he has to be the bigger voice....i am not scared he'll hurt me.... but i dont understand when tommarrow comes he'll act like eveything is fine and he never said anything........i'd love to leave him...but love him too much when our good days a good they're even GREAT but these very few BAD days are horrible and make me feel worse........My kids would hate me if i left daddy.....
2007-12-01 11:42:43 · update #1
Being a military wife is hard... And you have to take one day at a time ...It sounds like you love hard and you love fast this is the way of the military marriage ....Stay with him and things will stabilize as soon as he gets out of the service... It takes a tough woman to love a tough man ...Hang in there girl you will get through this..... E-mail me if you would like ....He goes off to war and you get to stay home and keep the home front secure and both of you are hero's in me eyes so work on your selves and Ill be praying for you two....
2007-12-01 11:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by diva102288 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you stay there and put up with that kind of crud. You say verbal abuse, don't stay long enough for it to become physical. Don't say it's because of the kids if there are any. That does not justify you staying in the relationship. All it does is teach the kids it's okay, that this is normal and you know it's not. If there are not kids pack your bags and hit the road. If there are kids pack all your bags and hit the road. Okay so you don't have a lot of money, there are places that will help you get what you need. Get on the phone when he's at work, or on your breaks at work. Get things set up so you know where and when and how your going. Maybe family can help some. Maybe a friend or two can help a little. Maybe for a Christmas present he'll figure out he's the problem if he's dumped by enough women.
I wish you all the best for a Happy Holiday and New Year, with a new you that's not taking doo from anyone.
2007-12-01 11:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by WACVET75 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? Because you let him get away with it. Don't bother talking to him about it; it might escallate to something worse. Just get out. Find yourself and you will find that you can do better.
Believe me, you kids will NOT benefit by your staying and taking it; they'll only learn the lesson that it's okay to be abusive to others and they'll have little self-respect themselves - or for either of you, and may become a disciplinary handful.
Besides the old "why buy a cow when milk is so cheap," remember "why buy a pig for a little sausage."
Keep You and Your mental health first, and if he cares anything at all about you, he'll straighten out his act. If he doesn't he isn't worth it anyway.
2007-12-01 11:44:40 · answer #3 · answered by L.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are going thru is not ok. Divorce sucks, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I was in a similar relationship, have been separated now for 4 months and am close to the final divorce. I have not been this happy for years. Finally have inner peace. Don't stay so long that you start to believe the crap he is throwing at you. Get out and start your new life.
2007-12-01 11:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will continue to do that ONLY as long as you sit there and let him. Why are YOU letting him do that? Why are YOU allowing yourself to be stepped on like that?
Just stop it. Coldly face him and say "This is the last time you are going to speak to me like this. If you ever do it again, I will leave, permanently. Do you understand."
And then stick to your word, because he WILL test you. If YOU sit there and let him do it, the next step is physical abuse. Grow a backbone already.
If you think this is love, it isn't. It's a sick type of neediness, that makes women stay in situations like that, not love.
2007-12-01 11:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your frustration. He's stressed about money more than likely. I don't know how to make the man stop yelling obsenaties at you. I tried to get my husb to stop for years before giving up and leaving.
2007-12-01 12:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by Blue Love Aura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and work on a middle ground. If he can not work on his problem like you did then you might have to make a change so that you can feel good about yourself. Your children will see later in life hy and how you make your choices.
2007-12-01 11:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't "have" to do it at all. I wouldn't put up with it, tell him to either sit down and discuss the problems or leave him. Since you can't actually force him to act like an adult those are basically your choices.
2007-12-01 11:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never. i usually the one who yells and demands satisfaction. it is so much easier i am telling ya. so quit being afraid to lose him. he is as afraid to lose u as u re afraid to lose him. and if he is not he is not your man on the first place. go to him now and tell him everything what u have been biting your tongue about. also crying and yelling might help for release of your tension. good luck and srew him
2007-12-01 11:38:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As long as you allow it then it will continue. You can't change him but you can change the situation. You may not want to break up but some time apart until he is willing to look at himself may be wise. Life is too short to not be happy.
2007-12-01 11:38:54 · answer #10 · answered by kayaker412000 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋