i dont know if i should tell him or not... i mean its not that big of a debt, its about 6,000.00... but hes told me about buying a house and stufff like that... i want to tell him but im afraid of what he is going to think... or is he going to get mad??
2007-12-01 11:32:11 · 17 answers · asked by i cant think of a nickname 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let it go. 6K is not that much. If you were hidind an std that would be another story but a little debt is not big deal. Just say "I do"
2007-12-01 11:43:50 · answer #1 · answered by jeff b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now don't start keeping secrets and lying thats not a very good way to start off this marriage is it. I know your worried he may get mad but think of it this way he will be more mad down the road if he finds out on his own. he will not only be mad you kept this from him he will also wonder what else have you lied about and will definately doubt the woman he just married. Don't be sneaky be upfront and honest .
2007-12-01 19:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is bad news...on many different levels. First off, $6,000 in debt IS a lot of debt. Second, the fact that you and your fiance have not discussed your respective financial situations is a bad indicator. (My parents REFUSED to discuss finances before their 1975 marriage and they have had numerous violent fights over money in the thirty-two years of their relationship.)
That said, get a free copy of your credit report. Contact all your creditors and make payment arrangements to clear the debt. THEN sit down with your fiance and spill the beans. He'll be mad...for awhile. But he'll get over it once he realizes that you were responsible enough to confront your problems head on.
2007-12-01 11:57:15 · answer #3 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think both of you need to discuss the debt that each of you have. The two of you already know that you love eachother and have hopefully learned a lot about one another. So, finances is just another part of getting to know your significant other! It really is very important that neither one of you are suddenly surprised by the debt between you. Afterall, he may be way over $6k with his debt. Wouldn't you like to know his spending history and habits before marriage? It's not taboo to discuss this and your debt is so very small.
2007-12-01 11:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He really needs to know; he might even be able to help you get "out of the hole." When you say "bad credit," do you mean you've been missing or making late payments? If it's just the amount of the debt, that's not bad credit.
But, he needs to know so he knows what to expect and how to plan for when he gets ready to buy that house.
2007-12-01 11:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by L.G. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'd better tell him. I have heard of people divorcing over these kinds of problems - actually getting the marriage annulled on grounds of fraud.
Don't be surprised if his trust in you is a bit shaken. Not because you're in debt, but because you didn't tell him long ago.
Good luck, and next time be honest from the beginning. It's only fair to him and to you too.
2007-12-01 11:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him before the marriage. It's not good to enter into the vows with lies being told, or secrets being kept. He evidently has dreams with you for your future, and those dreams will be hindered with bad credit. It's not good starting out a new marriage with disappointments and suspicion.
You need to take responsibility for your actions, and talk with him about all of it before the marriage, preferably by tomorrow. Give him time to think about what to do, or how to help,,,,
2007-12-01 11:45:26 · answer #7 · answered by Susan M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're starting your marriage off with a lie it's just going to cause major problems. Men are already anal about finances and 6,000 is a lot of money. I think you should tell him asap. He'll still marry you but not on a lie.
2007-12-01 12:19:34 · answer #8 · answered by Blue Love Aura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you just bring it up the next time he talks about buying a house. tell him you remember the last time he was talking about it and you started thinking how less than stellar yours is and that you hope it doesnt mess up your future plans. he might ask for details he might not. if he does tell him the truth but also let him know the steps you have taken or are taking to fix it.
2007-12-01 11:51:34 · answer #9 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just tell him then he can deal with it. If you hide it then when he finds out he is in worse of a problem. Let him know and he will deal with it. He might be upset but will get over it easier than finding out when trying to make a deal on housing.
2007-12-01 11:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋