what would you do if you just found out that your husband of three years cheated on you before you got married and now you have two children with him? the person he cheated on you with was your younger sister and you see or talk to her everyday.
2007-12-01 11:09:52 · 15 answers · asked by babygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What do YOU want to do. If he is not cheating since you married him and he is being a good Dad and husband and you love him and want to make it work then I think you need to be communicating with him and your sister and you may need some professional help to figure out how to really forgive them (I would). If your relationship is a disaster and you are looking for an excuse to punt him then you can add this to the list of his transgressions and divorce him --- no court will really care but if it is an deal breaker for you then do what you have to.
Good luck.
2007-12-01 11:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by George 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The 'cheating' was done before he made the commitment to you and the vows to the Lord.
There is the issue of the younger sister, which is not a good thing at all, so maybe a long talk with your sister and him, and maybe some counseling for yourself. If he is no longer cheating and has made the commitment to you, then maybe your marriage will work if you accept what has happened and heal from it.
If you can't deal with it, and continue making it an issue within yourself, then the marriage is in trouble. He can't take back what has happened, but if he can be trusted now it will be worth the effort.
2007-12-01 19:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by Susan M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, are you certain about all of the facts?
I would seek the counsel of a professional marriage counselor before anything else. Since you have two children you have to think of them first. I can only imagine how it would be to speak and see the woman who your husband cheated on you with, compounded with she is your sister.
You need to keep your wits about you, as hard as it may be.
Was it one or more occasions? I am not sure that it really matters, but it may.
How is your marriage with your "loving" husband now.
Listen to all the comments on this board, but honestly you need to seek some counselling due to the obvious betrayal, dishonesty and complications concerning your sister, kids and all.
Hope all turns out well. Good Luck!
2007-12-01 19:19:19 · answer #3 · answered by bink 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact that it was your sister makes this very difficult. If she knew you were having a relationship with this guy at the time, you have to have a serious talk with her. As for your husband, you were not married, no commitment you both were free to date unless you have an agreement to see each other exclusively. If he cheated while married to you, that is another issue.
2007-12-01 19:18:11 · answer #4 · answered by acedelux 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The real question is: What are you willing to do? If you love him and he loves you, then seek help from your pastor, mentor, counselor and/or your closest friends. You need perspective. All of the advise in the world will do you no good if you are not willing to forgive and work past your problems. No doubt the sister thing is sticky but you know that you will have to work at reconciling that relationship if you want harmony in your life.
The final and most important thing is to think about those kids and pray. Every divorce hurts everybody.... and I mean EVERYBODY.
hope this helps.
2007-12-01 19:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by freeD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break down and cry!
Than get furious and ask why would my sister be that cruel, why would she hate me that much that she would sleep with the man that I love and I don't think I could ever really forgive her.
As for Him I think I would ask him why he didn't tell me before we got married.
Children are involved now so it is a lot harder now.
For him and yes this is a bit hypocritical but I might be able to get past it for our kids of coarse with a whole bunch of counseling and other things but it might be able to be fix.
2007-12-01 19:17:48 · answer #6 · answered by CrazyH 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There in nothing you can do to change that. Do you get along with your husband well? If he repents/ regret and doesn't continue seeing her, forgive him and work out things with him. I know you may see it fit to ask him about it and let him explain it to you, read him body language if he regret it, if he repents on what he did, and perhaps know from your sister if they are still seeing each other. If you truely love him and want things to work out, forgive him. Consider your kids best interest.
2007-12-01 19:19:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Intitial reaction - Throw some punches. Inititial reaction is not always the best response. If my head was clear I'd find out when, where, how, and WHY. How did you find out anyway? I wouldn't trust either one of them for a while. I don't know if I'd divorce or not. Each situation is different.
2007-12-01 19:18:57 · answer #8 · answered by gatsgrl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since it was my sister .. I would probably consider moving on without him.
I probably would not be talking to her everyday either.
She cheated you, too.
2007-12-01 19:20:27 · answer #9 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling......And, a very long talk with the sister.....And, a lot of forgiving..But, even then I am not sure I could forgive either one. I don't think I could forgive the sister for not telling before marriage and, the husband either...They were very unfair to you about this.....
2007-12-01 19:13:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋