-me my husband and my in laws live together
-it is their house as they don't want to leave the memories behind they won't let us buy a new house...so we live @ there place
-my hubby is a doctor so he can afford his own house..but she won't let us!
-every weekend when me and my husband want to got out and spend some time together .she invites her brothers over and they party it up and she expects me to be a slave and entertain them with food, drinks, etc.
-so today i had to go out to buy a poster for my history class and she goes .."why don't u take Al ( her nephew) with you guys u will have fun?"....a couple wants to spend some time together and you want me to entertain ur nephew...!
-so i said...don't worry i will be home in 15 minutes and then help you out! she got upset ...But I had to go..so i went..
-now my husband is mad at me about how he doesn't have fun and his friends go out with there girlfriends all the time and i am stuck with my parents....
-right now he dropped me off
2007-12-01 10:50:14 · 5 answers · asked by Just another gal 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
at home and he is depressed...and left me alone with his relatives!
-this happens every weekend...
-what do u think i should do to make my husband happy?
-also, we can't even take vacation coz i remember when i wanted to go to my uncle's place in georgia she got so jealous that i couldn't even go!
-i mean she is like a 10 yr old kid...she starts whining whenever we want to got out somewhere without them
what do i do?
2007-12-01 10:52:25 · update #1
It sounds like your hubby needs to cut the apron strings. And if you are adults, you should be making your own choices as man and wife, not what his mother wants you to do. I would lay down the law with your husband, and tell him that things need to change.
2007-12-01 10:56:22 · answer #1 · answered by **Laura** 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand up for yourself and your husband needs to do the same. Move out and get some distance from your inlaws like the rest of your inlaw family that comes to visit. Just keep the visits to very few. The more distance you and your husband have from them the happier both of you will be! You can go out alone and you can also make him happy at home. If he drops you off at home then why are you even going by the house? The two of you should be going on and having fun together. Turn the cell phones off or use selective answering. Don't tell them your plans for a get away. You just leave weather it is for you to go out or anything. Do not argue with them just do not give them straight answers to anything. As long as you are there remember the less you do and the more you are not there the more they will expect that.
2007-12-01 19:07:29 · answer #2 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a toxic relationship between you and your in-laws, and between your husband and his parents. And here's what I have to say about it.
1) you should NOT be living with your in-laws. When you marry, you are meant to leave your parents and begin your own home and family.
2) how can they not 'let' you buy a house? You are both adults, and that decision is up to YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND, his parents be damned.
3) SHE has no business interferring in your marriage. Your husband needs to grow a spine and tell his mother to mind his own business.
4) you and your husband have every right to spend time together, and alone. You do not have to do anything for your mother-in-law or her guests. If she wants to invite guests, then she is the hostess and should act as such, not you.
5) you should have told her, "No thanks. We'd like to be alone today. Al can come with us some other time."
6) your husband has no business to be mad at you; he needs to direct his anger at his mother where it belongs.
You are right; your marriage is spiralling to divorce, and nothing short of your husband moving his loyalties from his 'mummy' to his wife will stop this. You should not have to put up with this behaviour, and you need to give your husband the ultimatum. Your MIL sounds like a jealous narcissist, and nothing will change that. Go here for some support and help: www.motherinlawstories.com You'll find many people, both men and women, in the same boat as you are.
I wish you the absolute best, and I truly hope your husband wises up.
**By the way, my mother-in-law is a control freak, and deceptive and a liar. I don't trust her anymore, and I never will again. My husband has cut his family out of his life, and I supported his decision to do so. I will not allow them to be part of my life again.
2007-12-01 18:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by Shayna 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has to decide to cut the strings that bind him to his mother. You can continue to live there and be a slave or you can leave. He has to start being a man and a husband. Might be time for some marriage counseling.......
As his mother she has no rights to demand anything from you she is a grown woman. Maybe find her a boy friend. As a married couple you need time to yourselves and if he doesn't understand that and if she wont allow it...Sorry you have no marriage.....
2007-12-01 18:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1- you have the money to buy a home of your own
2- you are grown your husband is a DR.
3-don't know how old you are but you two need to stand up to monster-n-law and move out don't ask just do it don't tell her you are going to do it just do it move to a apartment till you find your own run don't walk and good luck
2007-12-01 19:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by neesa o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋