I found out my husband is cheating. l caught him sending email to his exgirlfriend and challenged him on the spot, what did l get was a hard slap on my face and throughly beaten that night. l got bruises all over my body. l hate violence and men that beats their wives. Now l view him as enemy and hated him with passion. What can l do, l love him and my life is revolved around him, but ever since then l don't trust him anymore.
How can l be independent again and regain my self esteem? My family says l should come over and start working with them, but l dont want to leave my husband . Pls help,
2007-12-01 10:39:24 · 17 answers · asked by feranmi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look here you should remember that we have much of a right to be respect just as much as a men does. Other wise women that fought for us women today to have our rights wouldnt of standed up for theirsleves back then. You should know that you are meant for better than that. I dont care how much you love him. A man has no right to do that to a woman. And you simpy loving him aint going to heal those bruises that you have. How long are you willing to put up with this ****? Him cheating on you, breaking your heart, and beating on you? It aint worth trying to stay with him. Because who knows, maybe you might not get off that easy next time with him, and try to kill you. You dont let some man control who you are, thats crazy! And i doubt you want your family to see you in a grave if you keep this up. I should know because my mom had to go through that with my daddy. She was very unhappy for years and everything she tried doing to change him to do better didnt work, and the son of a ***** tried to kill her. Do you know how that makes me feel? seeing him hit my mother? it hurts me just as much as her that i couldnt protect her when i was younger, and it made no sence that she wanted to stay with a man that didnt show his love like she did. Because I loved her to and it made me ask myself why wasnt my love good enough for her to? That she only needed the people who really loved her around her. So i dont care if you love him or not you'll find someone else who will and get over him . If he hits you, you shouldnt stay.Because you do have real people who love you and you dont need that . abusive love. Dont allow him to control your feelings. Cause that will keep you from realizing that others are willing to make you happy in a heartbeat if they could. You have a life to live. Dont be afaird to live it on your own if you have to in order to be happy, and feel free to do what ever you want.
Oh and another thing. Its not your fault that his the cheater and the absuer. That is his doing not yours. You didnt ask him to hurt you. So stop acting like your the quilty one. You know you didnt do anything for him to be that way. Sometimes when we love someone so much that we cant see behind the mask they are wearing. And when you hear them say sorry you remember back of how they once were and easily forgive them. But dont let those good memories be an excuse to hide the bad onces.
2007-12-01 11:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a couples therapist: He's cheating on you and he hit you, do you think that's a good sign? Violence and cheating are don't usually occur once; they are both pattern behaviors and tend to escalate. These great articles might give you some much needed perspective.
Is Your Relationship Healthy? Some Questions To Ask Yourself
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-is-your-relationship-healthy.html
Love Thyself: Why Positive Self-Esteem Is the Most Important Factor In Your Relationship
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-love-thyself.html
2007-12-01 11:05:01 · answer #2 · answered by lovehealer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyonf suggested right thing, but let me tell you, how hard you try that ur husband turn away, all in vein. First of all print out all his call history, then write all the messages on a notebook, time and date mentioned as well. After u do it all, during the time when you, ur husband and that girl, all will be at different places, call the girl from ur own no. And teach her the lesson, which she never learned, scold her like the wife of INDIAN, with all your power, your love and your anger. She will tell this to ur husband, as he will return and if he uttered a word about this, put all your messages and call history before him and without considering you as just a woman teach him all which he forget and call him to return with all ur love, remember do it fast, every second of ur life is drowning you in the middle of ocean. After it would happen, think are you giving as much love as you should give him, if not then this was sure to happen.
2016-04-07 02:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you love someone who is cheating on you and physically abusing you? Are you a masochist? Even a dog will bite the hand that beats him. Listen to your family and seek their assistance and get away from this man. He has major issues and is not ready for any type of a relationship, let alone marriage. Get out while you can. He is not a man; real men don't beat someone who is defenseless.
2007-12-01 11:53:24 · answer #4 · answered by pussycat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave your husband anyone that slaps a woman is a wimp. And if he cheats on you how can you ever trust him again I would'nt even wanna be around him.. Go to your family they are probably the best support that you will ever have. Make your life revolve around someone else and let him know it. there is nothing like the feeling of satisfaction. LEAVE HIM.
2007-12-01 11:04:09 · answer #5 · answered by answer machine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, once the abuse starts, it doesn't stop...it only gets worse! it's not a healthy situation for you (not sure if you have kids..but if you do, then it's not good for them either). you need to leave him...you need to find a job, save some money and move out!! trust me on this!!! i was in an abusive relationship for 2 years.....he is the reason our daughter was born premature and has mental issues now. if you hate the abuse, then leave!! while he is at work one day, have someone in your family move you out! i am sure they will allow you to stay with them until you can get on your feet.....
oh, and about the cheating thing...once it starts, it too will continue....once a cheater ...always a cheater.
2007-12-01 10:47:22 · answer #6 · answered by Latino Heat 4ever 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy? You have the means to make your own money and be free of an abusive dog and you want to stay and get the royal beat down. How silly can you get?
2007-12-01 13:45:22 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start regaining your self esteem by giving the good stuff to a man that appreciates it.
2007-12-01 12:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess he did hit u hard on Ur head then !!!!!!
Listen, even if u were the one cheating on him, he has no right to beat u.let alone when he is guilty.................just get out of this marriage.for Ur sake......how can u say that u love him?
U can't love someone who beats u.............u deserve much better than this.
God be with u.
Good luck
2007-12-01 11:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by shinersd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to leave a cheating, abusive spouse? Do you realize how emotionally and physically abused you are right now? You aren't thinking straight. File for a separation/divorce, change the locks and throw his butt to the curb. You can't "regain your self-esteem" -- if you allow him to get away with this, you never had any to begin with.
You might love him, but someone that treats you like dirt doesn't love YOU. Please, please, please get a referral for psychological counseling for abused women -- you need it, badly.
2007-12-01 10:47:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋