Is it enough just "being there" for them?
2007-12-01 10:09:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
There isn't much you can do............
I've been there done that.........
Just let them know that your there if they need to talk.....
understand if they don't........lol
2007-12-01 10:24:28 · answer #1 · answered by Red Hawk 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are a couple of important variables here. One, if the person is under 18, there's not a great deal you can do. If the suffering is severe enough, you might talk to Child Protective Services (the two of you) and see if there's anything that can be done.
For an older person, again the variable is just how severe the suffering is. And what sort. Is it outright, intentional cruelty, or neglect, or the parents so messed up themselves that they are spending all their money on drugs, or whatever. When you say "being there for them," that's not just listening and sympathizing. It's also doing whatever seems reasonable to help. Can they stay at your house either all the time or enough to make a difference? Do you know a counselor or lawyer or other person you could discuss the problems with? For example, I would probably ask the leader of the Ethical Society, who stands in place of a minister for the Society. She is knowledgeable in social work and, obviously, in ethics. She would either know what to do, or know to whom she could refer us for help.
You don't just listen and pat them on the head. You offer to go with them to find someone who really can help.
2007-12-01 19:45:18 · answer #2 · answered by auntb93 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kitkat, it is called "active listening," and is very similar to just "being there" for them, except you pay close attention when they open up and begin to speak about what is bothering them. You let them see you are paying close attention to everything they are telling you, so you are really connecting with them. What this does is to summon a better dialogue from them. Think about it: when a person knows he is being listened to closely, that is really a form of love and respect, and it tends to summon a better conversation, in which you can often make empathic headway and go beyond the place where that person is stuck.
I don't know how many people I have gotten speaking about their issues and then I just keep quiet and let them talk for awhile. Part of the problem people have these days is having to keep their issues all bottled up inside. When you provide a willing ear to give them enough forum to express themselves, it has a healing effect on their psyche because they are also able to hear what they are telling you and fine-tune it as they go. It is more than "venting." It is self-expression. There is a delicate or sensitive mechanism within the human psyche which adjusts the personal version of things as it expresses them. We overhear our own thoughts when we speak them aloud to someone else. All you have to do is show this person you are really paying attention and that you care. The healing will come from the other side. They will do most of the self-healing. And then they will probably thank you for it, and you will tell them all you did was listen; but truly, Kitkat, that is all they really needed to get themselves started out of the problem they were in. Try to refrain from giving advice, even if they ask you for it. Try to turn it around so they have to look at how they want to handle things. There is no healing in solving problems for others. That never works. Because it doesn't last. The art is in getting the other person to work through and figure out his own problems. In other words, self-reliance. If this person you are so clearly concerned about were more self-reliant, much of what is upsetting him/her would be getting resolved already. Try slowly to get the person to use his/her own inner reserves and resources to solve the things which are off in left field. If you want to, you can tell the person what you understand the problem to be, and then ask if they is what is bothering. Ask if you understood them correctly. This will help the person to further self-define the issue, bringing greater clarity. Provide enough time so you will not have to get up and leave when it is just getting to the best part. Hang in there for the healing, in other words.
2007-12-01 20:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take them somewhere to show them that not all families are like that.
Really, any positive action by you will help them in deciding to end the suffering.
2007-12-01 18:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by asgodintended 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a Good Question also a trough one to answer.
Just try to help if ya can. But don't get too involved in other peoples "FAMILY" troubles. Let them know you are there if they are in harms way............lol
2007-12-01 22:18:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has to be enough. Family matters need to be resolved within the family.
2007-12-01 18:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
try and help anyway i can
2007-12-01 18:13:18 · answer #7 · answered by back to basics 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋