I don't like discussing other men when we are together, it feels wrong, dirty and sinful. Am I just being a prude. He says it is disappointing that I don't want to please him. He also said that there is nothing wrong with it because it is all about me, he doesn't want me to be with anyone else and he doesn't want to be with anyone but me.
He already knows all about my past so it is nothing new. Plus I was 18 when I met and we got married years later. I don't have that many stories to share (about 5, and none of those are actually intercourse). He likes to hear the details. I am just wondering, if I give in, are we going to have to talk about these same 5 stories for another 50 years for him to get turned on. I am worried that he will get bored and he will want to take it further. As a Christian, I think this feels like I am bringing someone else into something that should be between he and I. This has just come up and we have been married 10 years so I am a taken aback. Advice?
2007-12-01 07:52:28 · 10 answers · asked by happylady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I like Jane Marples answer, she sounds like more fun than a barrel of monkeys! *(Don't be offended Jane, it's meant as a complement)
Other than that If it makes you uncomfortable, then tell him so. Maybe limit the stories to once a week, tell him that your real life stories are limited and that some will be made up fantasy's, or stuff you read in books etc. He's your man, keep him happy!
2007-12-01 08:14:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jezmanrulz-PWC-WRW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Healthy? not if you don' t think so!
What consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes or lives is fine. The key word here is consenting. If you do not feel comfortable, then you are not consenting!
What I am saying is that he gets turned on hearing about your sexual past. This is so sexually charged that not handled correctly, it could be a real problem. On the other hand there are couples who willingly do far more dangerous things in the privacy of their homes. Who is to say? You, that is who!
If you enjoy it, it turns you on, or makes you happy then do it. If not, then you need to tell him!
Will he want to take it further? Maybe, and there is nothing wrong with that, unless you think there is! A normal sex life is up to the two people engaged in it! No one else, but you need to know your comfort level is equally important to his! Equal, that means Equal!
I suggest you talk to him, lay it on the table, and find a compromise, if possible. You are not being a prude, just express yourself with no fear. You may look back on this and find that your ideas and values change over time. Trust your judgement!
2007-12-01 08:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by bink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is just trying to get you to be more sexual. He knows there is nothing to the stories, but needs a hook to get you to talk dirty. If you're into that, try initiating some sexy talk about another topic. If you're not just tell him.
I understand you not wanting to tell the samestories for the next 50 years, but his reply will be he doesn't want to engage in exactly the same act for 50 years.
I agree about leaving Christianity out of the bedroom. You don't need to feel guilty about being a human.
2007-12-01 09:45:25 · answer #3 · answered by Rasputin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is turned on by the fantasy of you with another person. Indulge him. Then, tell him what turns you on and he will be happy to oblige. There's nothing wrong with him. You should be happy that you can be so open with him. Tell him past experiences and he will give you the best time of your life (he'll want to be better than those experiences).
2007-12-01 08:36:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First: Leave Christianity outside your bedroom.
Second: There is nothing wrong with a man who likes to hear dirty talks in bed. Asking about your past experiences is his way of making you talk...you don't have to talk about real things, talk about fantasies you've had, things you'd like to do to him or things you'd like to have done to yourself.....he'll enjoy that as much.
2007-12-01 07:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As a Christian, I too feel that this is not healthy for your marriage. Next time, try this: "I can only remember how being with you turns me on! " Then start telling him about something special you did with him during lovemaking.
2007-12-01 07:57:45 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
its not a good idea to discuss past relationships.
eventually, he will throw back at you every day.
most men are not going to ask about a past relationship.
you are who you are and he married you as is.
just tell him there is really nothing to tell.
2007-12-01 09:33:36 · answer #7 · answered by ramni222 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him no one before has compared to him, and that you have only had the most memorable experiences with him, and then describe them to him. Just start playing the stupid card.
2007-12-01 08:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would not tell him any thing about the past. Tell him that you are not going to talk about the past. You can all so say you tell yours and i will tell mine. He will back off.
2007-12-01 08:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by patches 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well if this turns him on then go for and every time kind of spice it up and make it interesting for him and if you do that trust me he will never get board of it!!!!!!!!
2007-12-01 08:00:37 · answer #10 · answered by BIG B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋